Undergraduate / "As a child, I was basically perfect." - Describe the world you come from [8]

i wrote this essay to answer the common app prompt, so it doesn't describe the world i come from, i just talk about myself. can you plz suggest, what i can add or change to answer the first UC prompt?and also, any other comments or feedback would be GREATLY appreciated thank you! =)

UC Prompt: Describe the world you come from-- for example: you family, community, or school-- and tell how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

As I watched an old home video of my 5th birthday party I saw a sweet little girl,
with wonder in her eyes, tearing open her presents, and thanking everyone in an angelic voice. She had nothing but love to give to the world. But when I pressed stop on the remote control, that little girl was gone, and all that was left was a pessimistic, jaded teenager. Somewhere along the road from my fifth birthday to my teenage years, the sweet little girl was lost, and transformed into a stranger.

You know those people who are just naturally good at everything, and who are destined to succeed? That was me. Well, at least that was supposed to be me. As a child, I was basically perfect. "She never drank from a bottle, she drank straight from a cup when she was just one year old. She was such a quiet toddler, and never gave me any trouble" my mother loves to tell people. However, There's a point in your life, where you just have to stop and look at yourself and ask yourself are you the person you want to be. If I had caught a glimpse of my teenage self when I was five years old, would I be proud, or would I be ashamed?

At the beginning of high school, I thought I was progressing, but realized that in reality, I wasn't actually going anywhere. I realized I wasn't becoming the person I wanted to be, I was heading in another direction. High School was, in my mind, a place where I would flourish and grow into a perfect, mature, independent, young adult. Going into a new school district my freshman year, where I didn't know anybody was scary for me. I became introverted and self conscious, and I felt inferior to everyone at my school. It was hard for me to make friends and to settle down. In addition to that, I was trying so hard in academics, but still not getting good results, so I lost faith in my abilities, and in myself. I told myself I wasn't smart enough and that no matter how hard I tried, I would still fail. Over the years, I developed a negative attitude toward everything in life, but I knew I couldn't keep living that way. During the summer before junior year, I really had time to think about my life and where it was going. I realized that feeling sorry for myself wasn't going to get me anywhere and I needed to change things. I told myself that yes, I wasn't as smart as my other classmates, but that just meant I would have to work ten times harder than them. So I signed up for three AP classes and started Junior year with a fresh and positive attitude. I flourished in my AP classes and crossed boundaries, I didn't know I was capable of crossing.

If I were to catch a glimpse my teenage self when I was five years old, I would be ashamed that I had not become the perfect person I aspired to be. But if I were given an opportunity now, to go back in time, and change my whole high school experience, where I could have been more outgoing and made friends easier, or studied harder and gotten better grades, I wouldn't change a thing. Going through all of that has just made me a stronger person. It has made me a wiser person who is able to look back at myself, fix my mistakes, and improve my character. If I had just been one of those perfect people all of my life, I would have been denied the wonderful satisfaction of working so hard at something and finally achieving a goal. I wouldn't be the strong, independent person I am today. If my five year old self were to see me now, she would be proud.

Undergraduate / overprotective parents-UC prompt #1 [4]

"Stay innocent as long as you can because these are the best years of you life." Those words my mom had repeatedly told me ran through my head as I sat in the big dark room. I was constantly turning my head side to side, paranoid that at any moment, my mom would walk into the movie theatre and discover that I was watching a pg-13 movie. I kept adjusting my position in the cold, uncomfortable movie theatre chair. The popcorn I was eating tasted of nothing but bitterness and guilt. I sprinted out of the theatre as soon as the movie was over and breathed a sigh of relief that my mother did not catch me. There was still, however, a feeling of guilt eating away at my core.

Although I was 16 years old at the time, my mother would not approve of me seeing an inappropriate pg-13 movie. My mother believes that although movies are rated pg-13, some of the violence and sexual content are not suitable for teenagers of any age. I resented the fact that my parents were prohibiting me from watching a movie that any other sixteen or thirteen year old would be allowed to watch. I believed I was entitled to the same freedom as other teenagers so I went ahead and watched the movie against my mother's wishes. The guilt I felt, however, made me realize that my parents were not being overprotective, to hurt me, but to prevent me from being influenced by negative things.

My mother and father grew up in India, under the strict and conservative ways of the Indian culture. Even though my family has now lived in America for 13 years, my parents still raise my sister and I according to Indian customs and values. My parents want to make sure that my sister and I have opportunities that they did not have, so my parents make sure to involve us in extra curricular activities. From swimming, to ballet, and music lessons, my parents make sure we are well rounded. My mom dedicated her life to raising my sister and I. Instead of working, she stayed home to make sure we had a warm meal to eat when we came home from school, and someone to help us with our homework. But my parents are also careful to make sure, we do not get too influenced by the American culture. My parents speak to us in Hindi, and take us to the temple every Sunday to pay our respects.

Seeing the hardships my parents have gone through and everything they have sacrificed for my sister and I, inspires me to take advantage of the oppurtunities I have been given and make something of my life. I owe it to my parents and to myself, to reach my full potential.