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Posts by chloepham
Name: Pham Anh Thu
Joined: Jan 30, 2024
Last Post: May 31, 2024
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: Viet Nam
School: AJC

Displayed posts: 4
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chloepham   
Jan 30, 2024
Writing Feedback / [TASK2] As well as making money, businesses also have social responsibilities. AGREE OR DISAGREE? [3]

It has been argued that business companies should prioritize social responsibilities besides money as the main driver of business's success. I completely agree with this viewpoint and I will elaborate reasons in this essay.

On the one hand, there are main reasons why companies emphasize earning as much money as possible. The notable reason is the wealth of the business owner and his family. To this end, covering the running costs, such as employee wages and payments for buildings and utilities are the fundamental aspects of maintaining companies. Without paying these basic costs, businesses might suffer great damage, like going into debt or even going bankrupt. However, besides maintaining good financial health and enriching the business, the consideration of other factors such as moral and environmental responsibilities also play a key role in the business's success.

On the other hand, firms should consider the social prospects as they can affect profitability. As many companies overemphasize making a profit, they can do anything, even take illegal shortcuts. For instance, a company can boost the appeal of its products by adding addictive materials, regardless of the customer's health. This is a noticeable case of failing to set an ethical boundary for business management. Furthermore, the environmental approach is also necessary for protecting companies' rate flow. For example, Toyota Motor, a car manufacturing company, is facing the largest-ever fine of $180 million due to surpassing the specified limit of air pollution. If companies keep ignoring these environmental regulations, they might face another unexpected penalty.

In conclusion, I believe that companies should place as much importance on their social responsibilities as they do on their financial objectives.
chloepham   
Apr 16, 2024
Writing Feedback / Pros and cons of developing tourism industry [4]

i think you can give further explanation on the main idea of body1, like why "The tourist industry is a low-risk investment" or "tax collection" according to the topic's question. Beside, the idea of tourism's benefits can be used as a conclusion for body1 because i think if u too focus on these benefits, the examiner might think you are not understanding the topic and give a lower score on Task Respond criteria.

This is just my opinion, thank you for reading
chloepham   
Apr 16, 2024
Writing Feedback / In order to learn a language well, we should also learn about cultures. Do you agree or disagree? [4]

Hi there,
Your essay is well-written in my opinion, the idea is fully developed and some advanced words are used appropriately.
However, some parts are confused for readers and need to be clear, like you should consider use relative clauses in this sentence "Many words have various shades of meaning and they may be overly formal or informal that create an awkward conversation or unintended disrespect" can be "Many words have various shades of meaning, some of which may be overly formal or informal that potentially lead to awkward conversations or unintended disrespect" or when it comes to express a possible negative outcome, you also can use the conditional sentence.

Thank for reading my feedback
chloepham   
May 31, 2024
Writing Feedback / [PART2] In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries [2]

[b]TOPIC: In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Opinions are divided on whether individuals should get a heightened level of remuneration or whether the government should introduce a maximum wage policy. Personally, both aspects have its advantages and disadvantages and I will give reasonable for my judgments in this essay.

On the one hand, there are many compelling reasons why numberous people earn a heightened salary. This is because the high position of these individuals is often proportionate to their undertaken workload, which facilitates opportunities for them to receive greater remuneration, compared to those with less working experience. In the modern world, people who work in high positions face intense working schedules and usually have to meet business partners and investors, ensure the company's operation, and manage human resources. Therefore, it is unquestionable when the CEO of an international corporation is paid thousands of dollars. However, I would contend that there should be a limit on salary policies managed by the government regarding the income of such individuals.

It is understandable that the government should be held accountable for introducing a maximum wage law. The earning restriction could be implemented through initiatives related to taxes, such as personal income tax, which will benefit both the government's budget and society. The nation could receive more financial resources to invest in activities that simulate its development growth like infrastructure, public institutions, and funding for social welfare. The lower pay of those who hold high responsibilities can contribute to reducing the disparity between socioeconomic groups and promoting social equality. This happens in Germany, the country's highest in the world happiness index, where the brain workers earn the same amount of money as manual workers, and the salary is paid based on the individual's workload.

In conclusion, generous remuneration merely benefits a small number of individuals and it should be limited by a proper wage policy, aimed toward the well-being of society as a whole.

(313 words)
Can i get a band 7 for this essay?
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