Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Home / Writing Feedback % width Posts: 2


[PART2] In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries


chloepham 2 / 2 2  
May 31, 2024   #1
[b]TOPIC: In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Opinions are divided on whether individuals should get a heightened level of remuneration or whether the government should introduce a maximum wage policy. Personally, both aspects have its advantages and disadvantages and I will give reasonable for my judgments in this essay.

On the one hand, there are many compelling reasons why numberous people earn a heightened salary. This is because the high position of these individuals is often proportionate to their undertaken workload, which facilitates opportunities for them to receive greater remuneration, compared to those with less working experience. In the modern world, people who work in high positions face intense working schedules and usually have to meet business partners and investors, ensure the company's operation, and manage human resources. Therefore, it is unquestionable when the CEO of an international corporation is paid thousands of dollars. However, I would contend that there should be a limit on salary policies managed by the government regarding the income of such individuals.

It is understandable that the government should be held accountable for introducing a maximum wage law. The earning restriction could be implemented through initiatives related to taxes, such as personal income tax, which will benefit both the government's budget and society. The nation could receive more financial resources to invest in activities that simulate its development growth like infrastructure, public institutions, and funding for social welfare. The lower pay of those who hold high responsibilities can contribute to reducing the disparity between socioeconomic groups and promoting social equality. This happens in Germany, the country's highest in the world happiness index, where the brain workers earn the same amount of money as manual workers, and the salary is paid based on the individual's workload.

In conclusion, generous remuneration merely benefits a small number of individuals and it should be limited by a proper wage policy, aimed toward the well-being of society as a whole.

(313 words)
Can i get a band 7 for this essay?
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,974 4811  
Jun 6, 2024   #2
The second paragraph strayed from the comparison discussion. It entered into a government responsibility discussion instead. So you cannot expect to achieve the band score you have in mind. You will be lucky if the essay actually gets a passing band score since you did not stay on focus in the presentation. The public opinion should actually be balanced with your personal opinion. An actual comparison of opinions. It is the more preferred discussion format for this writing prompt. You wrote these all from your personal point of view. So the comparison scoring aspect was weakened. You will get a score for the personal opinion, it won't be as high as if you had used the correct discussion format though.


Home / Writing Feedback / [PART2] In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries
Do You Need
Academic Writing
or Editing Help?
Fill in one of the forms below to get professional help with your assignments:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳