Undergraduate / Common App Essay: Topic of your choice- "Spreading My Branches" [6]

This is basically my UC Prompt #1 essay. What do you think? Should I use it for the common app? (I'm applying to Stanford, Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Dartmouth, Princeton, and Duke) Or should I go with a completely new idea?

My second favorite idea is answering Common App topic #2, discussing my interest and political experience which has led me to believe Aristotle's philosophy that "We make war that we may live in peace" is a Weaseled Paradigm that leaders have been using for decades to justify unnecessary war.

Anyways, here is the essay:

My roots lay within the city of Red Bluff, California, a small farming community of 14,000 people. The closest large city is Sacramento, which is a two-hour drive south. My nearest neighbors are a herd of cows who spend their days nonchalantly grazing in the pasture across the street. Some may assume that a detached, rural environment such as the one I've been raised in would adversely affect one's academic aspirations. However, in my case, the contrary proves true: living in such a location has encouraged me to break through scholastic barriers and strive to take my place in the grander educational scheme.

There's a small town attitude that assumes, "We are at the center of the universe." This perspective can have both positive and negative connotations. It has fueled me with fortitude that I can take on the challenges of the encompassing world beyond our city's limits. Yet, for many, it triggers a sense of apprehension pertaining to the unknown. Hence, the majority of students who attend my school will go on to follow in their parents' footsteps, working as farmhands or contractors.

While I appreciate the importance of these careers, I do not wish to enter into my parents' line of work. There is a lot I have learned from them that I will be able to apply to any occupation. My father opened a small landscaping business in 1984. Since then, he has never ceased to push for perfection and has built up a respectable client-base. My mother, on the other hand, is an incredible idealist. In addition to being an at-home parent and organic farmer, she has devoted a tremendous amount of time to environmental and political campaigns, which she trusts will truly benefit humanity. I believe my parents' admirable traits have been implanted under my skin. The combination forms a perfect recipe for success. I will bring with me to college the ambition to work diligently and the conviction that I can leave a positive footprint in the world.

In addition to being raised by loving parents, I have had the advantage of working with devoted teachers who support me in all of my ventures. Whether at home or at school, I have never been told that I will not be able to accomplish a goal. For this reason, doubt has never obstructed my field of vision. Confidence in my work has consistently helped lead me to be ranked first in my class.

However, living in a rural community does have its drawbacks. I have witnessed, firsthand, absurd ignorance and malevolence. The morning after Barrack Obama was elected President, a group of students circled around the school parking lot, waved a Confederate flag from their car, and chanted, "Keep the White House white!" I was utterly appalled. Immediately, I decided to write an editorial in the school newspaper, emphasizing the dire need for tolerance and unity. Observing the unconscionable behavior of these students has filled me with great anticipation of entering the college environment, where cultures mix and fresh minds interact.

As I embark on this path, I feel confident my small town foundation and worldly aspirations have crafted me into the type of person who is ready to take on any obstacles on the road ahead. I will make great use of the limitless array of resources a university has to offer, not just for my benefit, but also for all whose lives I hope to touch.

Undergraduate / Stanford Supplement - Well, roommate, let me tell you about my rock band... [5]

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better.

Here is the essay... Thoughts, comments? Thanks a ton!

The house lights dimmed. A hush fell over the anticipative crowd. As I flipped on the amplifier switch, a boisterous thump resonated. Show time. Our drummer counted off, the prismatic stage lights illuminated, and we began to play.

I strummed away on my bass guitar, not a thought crossing through my mind. It is a euphoric feeling to be thoroughly in the moment. In such a demanding world, where scholastic success is so highly valued, I find it a necessity to have some sort of escape.

For the past three years, "Halcyon" has been my retreat. Halcyon - the name itself is reflective of the harmony it has brought into my life. During my sophomore year of high school, a few college students I knew asked if I would be interested in playing bass for an indie rock band they were forming. I graciously agreed to audition and we have been together since.

I have found it crucial to establish a balance between schoolwork and recreation. Having that balance has helped me maintain a clear mind and stay focused on my goals. Additionally, music in itself has been an incredible means of inspiration.

On a typical school day, it is not unusual for me to go from 8:00 AM to 11:00 PM without any break from my rigorous academic pursuits. However late it is before I am finally ready to call it a day, I still find time to pick up my aureate acoustic guitar and play a few ardent tunes.

Undergraduate / "My Mentor, a Former Nazi" - Princeton Supplement - I Was Influenced by a Nazi [4]

Prompt: Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.

Thoughts, suggestions? Do you think it is too short? Thanks a ton!

My Mentor, a Former Nazi

"I want a brutal, domineering, fearless, cruel youth. Youth must be all that. It must bear pain. There must be nothing weak and gentle about it. The free, splendid beast of prey must once again flash from its eyes." Adolf Hitler thus explicated his plans for the youth division of the Nazi party. Eventually, a mass of nine million boys was enlisted in this group, including my mother's friend, Joe.

Hamburg native Joe Bahlke joined the Hitler Youth Movement at the age of ten. Joe related to me that the Hitler Youth was actually just like a Boy Scout group, but with a terrible military attachment. There was the "walking-elderly-women-across-the-street" attribute, however, the underlying purpose of the group was to dehumanize children of their sensitive nature and raise them as soldiers. They were taught that the Jewish people were to blame for all of Germany's faults.

Ultimately, Joe began to question the views that were presented to him. As the Nazi Empire began to fall, he realized those ideals he had been brought up to believe in were absolutely preposterous. After his family was tragically killed in the Bombing of Hamburg, Joe moved to America to start a new life.

By this time, Joe's ideals took a complete turn around. He evolved from a brainwashed young Nazi to an avid peace supporter. Joe began voraciously writing in local newspapers, promulgating the need for peace, and applying the adage, "The pen is mightier than the sword." Why did Joe change so significantly? Because of an unbiased education.

The forces that molded Germany into such a radical nation are parallel to the foundations of modern terrorism. As outrageous as it may sound, German children of that era actually believed that Jews had fangs and were cannibalistic. In some extremist nations today, the same sort of propaganda is distributed, but with Westerners as their targets.

Joe's story has led me to believe the solution to minimize terrorism is to provide extremist nations with books, not bombs. A distorted education breeds ignorance, which breeds prejudice and intolerance, and in turn fosters extremism. Therefore, the solution is to illuminate these nations with truth.

Before getting to know Joe, I did not have much confidence that diminishing terrorism peacefully was a possible tactic. However, his ability to change, given the benefit of a decent education, has strengthened my resolve that a zealous commitment to diplomacy is the answer to this predicament.

Joe's impact on me has stuck. Throughout high school, I have exercised my voice in student newspaper articles, history class essays, and by working for humanitarian political campaigns. Due to the influence of conscionable people, such as my mother's friend, Joe, I feel drawn to pursue a career in politics, advocating peace among nations and upholding human rights.