This is basically my UC Prompt #1 essay. What do you think? Should I use it for the common app? (I'm applying to Stanford, Harvard, Yale, Cornell, Dartmouth, Princeton, and Duke) Or should I go with a completely new idea?
My second favorite idea is answering Common App topic #2, discussing my interest and political experience which has led me to believe Aristotle's philosophy that "We make war that we may live in peace" is a Weaseled Paradigm that leaders have been using for decades to justify unnecessary war.
Anyways, here is the essay:
My roots lay within the city of Red Bluff, California, a small farming community of 14,000 people. The closest large city is Sacramento, which is a two-hour drive south. My nearest neighbors are a herd of cows who spend their days nonchalantly grazing in the pasture across the street. Some may assume that a detached, rural environment such as the one I've been raised in would adversely affect one's academic aspirations. However, in my case, the contrary proves true: living in such a location has encouraged me to break through scholastic barriers and strive to take my place in the grander educational scheme.
There's a small town attitude that assumes, "We are at the center of the universe." This perspective can have both positive and negative connotations. It has fueled me with fortitude that I can take on the challenges of the encompassing world beyond our city's limits. Yet, for many, it triggers a sense of apprehension pertaining to the unknown. Hence, the majority of students who attend my school will go on to follow in their parents' footsteps, working as farmhands or contractors.
While I appreciate the importance of these careers, I do not wish to enter into my parents' line of work. There is a lot I have learned from them that I will be able to apply to any occupation. My father opened a small landscaping business in 1984. Since then, he has never ceased to push for perfection and has built up a respectable client-base. My mother, on the other hand, is an incredible idealist. In addition to being an at-home parent and organic farmer, she has devoted a tremendous amount of time to environmental and political campaigns, which she trusts will truly benefit humanity. I believe my parents' admirable traits have been implanted under my skin. The combination forms a perfect recipe for success. I will bring with me to college the ambition to work diligently and the conviction that I can leave a positive footprint in the world.
In addition to being raised by loving parents, I have had the advantage of working with devoted teachers who support me in all of my ventures. Whether at home or at school, I have never been told that I will not be able to accomplish a goal. For this reason, doubt has never obstructed my field of vision. Confidence in my work has consistently helped lead me to be ranked first in my class.
However, living in a rural community does have its drawbacks. I have witnessed, firsthand, absurd ignorance and malevolence. The morning after Barrack Obama was elected President, a group of students circled around the school parking lot, waved a Confederate flag from their car, and chanted, "Keep the White House white!" I was utterly appalled. Immediately, I decided to write an editorial in the school newspaper, emphasizing the dire need for tolerance and unity. Observing the unconscionable behavior of these students has filled me with great anticipation of entering the college environment, where cultures mix and fresh minds interact.
As I embark on this path, I feel confident my small town foundation and worldly aspirations have crafted me into the type of person who is ready to take on any obstacles on the road ahead. I will make great use of the limitless array of resources a university has to offer, not just for my benefit, but also for all whose lives I hope to touch.
We're applying to the exact same schools! Anyways, I digress. I agree with Skittlerose. Artistole would be a great essay choice because it isnt a very common theme and it is a powerful topic too. Of course, it all depends on how well you write it but given this essay that you wrote, I'm sure you will be able to handle it. I like this essay a lot ; it has a lot of voice and was well written.
Thank you, both! I've started writing the Aristotle essay, so I will post that too, once complete.
David, the exact same schools? ha. That's funny. Good luck with your apps! :)
How crazy it is that people actually chanted "keep the white house white." I think that if you are going to write about that in the essay, you should express more outrage, calling not for tolerance but for assertiveness in pulling society into the sophisticated way of 21st century thinking. If you choose to tackle this subject, really tackle it.
:-)
