Undergraduate / Upenn essay: which academic and social community are of interest to u(help) [4]

i actually think what you have now is great. even though you're speaking from a future point of view, you're still discussing your current aspirations. the only suggestion i would make is to stay in one tense. you start out in the past tense as if you're in the future, but then you move to the present tense, and then back to past. i think if you can somehow change it and move it all to one tense, it could really work.

hope that helped! if you have time, PLEASE take a look at my essay as well!
good luck!

Undergraduate / pianists, music - Common App- Short Description of Activities [3]

overall, i think this is pretty good. just a few things..




hope that helped! good luck and if you get the chance, please take a look at my essay as well!

Undergraduate / "Alzheimer" QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS - JHU major essay [21]

i really like this essay! it flows very well, and i definitely think you get your point across. just a few minor suggestions..

My insecure finger pressed the "Enter" button on my keyboard.

Now I am seventeen-- older, wiser, more mature.

During my four years of Biology classes throughout high school,

I have run through the centuries and millenniums to discover humans' origins

It is surprising that science, with its galloping advance in techniques, has found no answer to these questions, yet.

With every answer I give, I am a step closer to the depths of life where science has yet to arrive ...

I am ready to wholly devote myself to this mission

hope that helps! good luck!