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Posts by chlghdgus
Joined: Feb 10, 2010
Last Post: Feb 15, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: Korea, Republic of

Displayed posts: 5
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chlghdgus   
Feb 11, 2010
Writing Feedback / Schools are the only place to receive true education? toefl essay [4]

Some people argue that schools are not the only place to receive true education, they refute that there are many places to receive education. However, I have two supporting reasons for why schools are the best place to learn. Schools can teach many useful skills and schools can give formal education by proven teachers. So, there is no doubt that schools are the best place to receive proper and true education.

First of all, schools teach many useful skills. schools can teach the most important skill to live in society, how to socialize with people. Since students see their friends everyday, they will better know how to make friends and how to socialize with new people. Some might argue that students will be able to socialize better in other places, but students can build real friendship and companions in school, encountering similar problems as their peers. They need to solve problems with their peers, they would eventually make friendship and bond between friends which would last for a long time. Also, schools provide education regarding diverse subjects, these subjects that students learn would be valuable for them in the coming years for them to have a job that they want. To illustrate, as a student I learned numerous information. By attending schools for 12years I learned so much information that I could not have learned in other places. Schools have taught me how to socialize, motivated me to study and to achieve my utmost. I have many friends who have had same trouble with me, and friends who always help me out when I have problems. I wonder if I could have met those valuable friends if I did not attend school. In addition, I learned science that I love. I learned chemistry and biology that I could not have learned if I were to stay in other places.

Secondly, schools are proven place where students can acquire formal education. To be specific, schools are composed of teachers who have proven themselves eligible for teaching students. However, if students were to learn education in other places not by teachers, they would not be able to get as better education as formal teachers. Teachers who have studied so hard for the passion to teach students have great amount knowledge. There is great difference from formal and informal teachers since, formal teachers study so hard to achieve eligibility to teach students. Whereas informal teachers can just read out letters from books. Thus, formal teachers can better teach students with useful information that they studied for long time. For instance, my brother who is a teacher at an elementary school, he has tried so hard to teach students. He studied very hard on science, english and korean to teach children. Studying for 2 years he finally became a teacher and is teaching a lot of students.

To sum up, schools can provide students with much of valuable information and schools are proven place where students can learn from knowledgable teachers. In this regard, I strongly believe schools are better place to learn.

is my expression or word or other factors fine?
read it once and write any comments:)
chlghdgus   
Feb 15, 2010
Research Papers / Michael Jackson Senior Project (harmful or wonderful) [3]

i believe it would be easier to tell good story(donation, influence on music...)
then starting out your paper writing his shameful stories

To be frank, there are more ideas to write about shameful,harmful stories(petafile, plastice surgery, etc)

And should be backed up by articles or research i guess
chlghdgus   
Feb 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / It is unrealistic for people to work at the same company for their entire lives. [4]

is this toefl essay?
i think this essay is not long enough

you should give examples and you got grammar errors such as' a' 'the'

but your conlcusion is beautifully done

On the other hand, others might argue that lifetime employment can increase one's productivity since it is helpful for people to be professional to their field. However, I do not think it is reasonable because it makes people to be tired, be satisfied with one's present position. Furthermore, it can eliminate one's potential, interest

you should specify this why

well done~
chlghdgus   
Feb 15, 2010
Writing Feedback / TOEFL - I believe people can get more knowledge from books [3]

Some people argue that people can better gain knowledge from experience. They argue that people can gain precise knowledge based on real life. However, I believe people can get more knowledge from books. This is because books contain more information and knowledge and people can learn from past.

First of all, books can teach more information and knowledge to us. Compare real experience and a book. Ordinary people who are very busy earning money can not have much experience. They can merely experience how to earn money, make friends, and other short term experiences. Also, peoples` memory does not last forever. Whereas, numerous books can teach wide range of information and knowledge ranging from science to everyday life. Books contain personal memories, facts and experiences which could be applied to our life. Moreover, since books last for long time and they could be passed down to our generations, book`s benefit is undeniable. For instance, when I visited Japan, I did not know how they greet, and speak. Frankly speaking, I knew nothing about Japanese. I expected my experience in visiting other countries would help to communicate and socialize with Japanese but it was not case. Feeling frustrated, I read a book about Japanese culture and communications. Reading book for 2 days, I got to know how to greet and speak to Japanese. By learning from books, I learned how to communicate and traditions of Japanese life.

Secondly, books can teach life of past. Since books can be passed down to generations and can be copied, book would last for long time. Thus, books contain knowledge of past. These valuable knowledge can not be learned by experience. Thus, the only way to learn about knowledge of past is to read. Reading from past can teach life of our ancestors and how they coped with problems. These data would be valuable resource for us to learn and expand our knowledge. For instance, a book that everybody would know, Bible, is regarded as one of the oldest book that has ever been written. This book is important in every parts. This books teaches us about life of thousand years ago, and the book has provided numerous belief and knowledge to people. What this books teaches can not be experienced by any people or people of present since Jesus has deceased. Also, we can learn lessons from this book which could be practiced in our everyday life.

To sum up, books are the better way to way to obtain information because books contain more information, experiences and books can teach experience of past. In this regard, I believe book is the better way to obtain information than experience.
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