Undergraduate / Stanford Supplement "To. Future Roommate" (a roommate tutoring service) [6]

Prompt: Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. What would you want your future roommate to know about you? Tell us something about you that will help your future roommate -- and us -- know you better. (MAX: 1600char.)

Please give me any comment; I don't have anyone to review my essay..
Thank you very much for your help and time in advance.

Dear my roommate:

Hello, future-roommate! My name is EJ. I am so happy to meet you since I miss so much my three ex-roommates of my high school dormitory. If you never experienced dormitory, I can help you adapt to and enjoy the new life style, and I promise that it will be delightful.

If you want to know about me ahead, you can look around and will find my characteristics hidden in my stuff.

The white programming screen and the black command window on my laptop may look so dull to you, but they are the outlet of my creativity. When you are bored, I can show you a number magic program which can read your mind with only 8 questions. When you are super busy, I can give you my scheduling program to find out our perfect time to hang out. When your laptop goes wrong, I can finally show off my 10-year-long-experience of disassembling and re-assembling computers.

The tutor of the quarter award beside my bed might seem not so outstanding award, but I value much this thin paper as I value the lesson I learned from the tutoring experience. Peer tutoring is always fun; both tutor and tutee can learn from each other. We can discuss, explore, and solve complex problems together. If you are not confident with mathematics, physics, or computer languages, I can offer a roommate tutoring service.

Like the things in our room are seemed too much to be handled at once, our personality is hard to be revealed at once. I am ready to know you and be friends with you. I am so excited to show you this essay at the dormroom. (1540char.)

Regards,
EJ

Undergraduate / Carnegie Supplement: why major (Electrical and Computer Engineering), goal [4]

I wrote an essay to Carnegie Mellon Supplement.
Please give me some comments.
I really appreciate your help in advance.

Prompt: Please submit a one-page, single-spaced essay that explains why you have chosen Carnegie Mellon and your particular major(s), department(s) or program(s). This essay should include the reasons why you've chosen the major(s), any goals or relevant work plans and any other information you would like us to know.

Major: Electrical and Computer Engineering/ Computer Science

I have been addicted to Harry Potter since I first read it, and I have read it over 100 times. I still believe in a sort of magic which can bring light, warmth, and hope to the darkness. One person who can do all these magical things is an electrical and computer engineer who designs electrical systems and creates useful applications for bio-optics, communication, and data analysis to name a few.

While participating in the Institute of Science Education for the Gifted and Talented at Y University, I had a chance to explore my potential as a computer engineer in a team research project entitled "Finding New Methods to Generate Nth-Order Magic Squares" under the supervision of prestigious professors at Y University.

As magic squares have a long history, finding a new way seemed nearly impossible. The number of possible cases that we had to consider approached infinity. In addition, whenever we thought that we had found a creative way, it had already been found centuries ago. The only option for us was studying all the available operations so that we could at least understand the principles of the magic squares. Surprisingly, our last trial was successful. The technique for making specific-order magic squares could be expanded to make general-order ones. Soon, we discovered that finding a general means to create a magic square was closely related to writing computer programs. The squares were allocated by malloc-function, and generated numbers were stored in the heap region by int-pointer. Finally, our program was able to generate magic squares of any composite number order from magic squares of a prime number order. This research project sharpened my curiosity and broadened my perspective in computer language.

Added to my interest in computer, my love for exploring people's educating system as I tutored at X College made me want to develop artificial learning process. I believe that like human learns from various resources, artificial intelligence should be made to process information from a broad range of sources. Studying computer system and electric circuit design courses at Carnegie Mellon University will nourish me with its diverse internship opportunities, prestigious faculty in this field, junior and senior projects. After learning fundamentals of the electrical and computer engineering, I want to participate in Professor XX's Research in Image Processing to examine if applying equivalence relation of the partition of a received image set can help the artificial intelligence to rate the data's accountability and relativity to get the essence of complex images.

Even more, Carnegie Mellon University would provide a strong background to pursue advanced study and research in electrical and computer engineering. Having developed some fundamental knowledge of engineering at X College, I would like to achieve a deeper understanding and creativity in electrical and computer engineering through higher level lectures and experiments which I can apply the knowledge gained from core classes. Since Carnegie Mellon offers diverse engineering seminars, it would be so exciting to hear many esteemed speakers' and other students' opinions. Such communication opportunities will further my knowledge and motivation. Also, as I participate in Carnegie Mellon's subdivided and liberal research projects, my potential as an electrical and computer engineer will be actualized to its fullest.

I desire to collaborate and to harmonize with talented colleagues as an active member of Carnegie Mellon, so that I can contribute towards its passionate learning environment as well as my own academic and personal improvement.