Writing Feedback / Educating Children with Toys - help me with these pargraphs [5]

good morning everyone
how are you today

the title is: Educating Children with Toys

my thesis statement is: Consequently, toy manufacturers are designing toys that can aid a child in learning to initiate action, to take care of himself, and to discover and repair breakdowns of the toy.

those are the 3 body paragraph

Kids can be attracted with a small little things that catches their attention. Such as lights, sounds, music, and shapes. for example give a child an alphabet train toy which is for kids from 6 to 36 months, and keep an eye on him. All he is going to do is listen to the sounds, clap, laugh, ride on it, and hit the keys with his small fingers. This toy can aid children in learning to initiate action.

Another type of toys is a baby doll. A baby doll toy comes with her clothing, brush, and shoes. the kid start brush the doll's hair and change her clothes. all those things teaches a child how to take care of them self.

Third style of toys is a wooden building blocks. This toy allow the child to build what comes on his\her imagination. this type of toys can aid children to discover and repair break downs of the toy.

can someone help correct my mistakes please as soon as possible

Speeches / Step by step guide to prepare a speech [6]

please why you delete my post
can some one help me with this please??
is my conclusion at the end relate to the essay or no?
any suggestions...

Recently I learned that I was going to have to prepare and give a speech. Have you ever found that you needed to give a speech? And did you feel a little nervous about it? Have you ever wondered how to give a powerful speech that would immediately capture your audience interest? The speech should be catchy, perhaps amusing, but always thought-provoking. No matter what style you use, it must grab the interest of the audience. For this reason, you should proceed through the following steps: The speech preparation, practice your speech, and make the presentation. Following is a step by step guide to help you prepare a speech.

The speech preparation includes first, selecting a topic. your topic leads to your core message, and the entire presentation aims to deliver this core message to your audience. Second, determine the specific purpose of the speech. Write your thesis statement; then create you speech outline. your speech needs structure. without a structure, your audience will eiather wonder what your core message is, or they will lose interest in your speech entirely. Third, select your audio and visual aids. These contain overhead transparencies, flip charts, video tapes, and computer multimedia.

You have written your speech, now you must practice in order to ensure its smooth delivery. In practice you can locate and fix any awkward phrases, and you can accurately estimate the timing of your speech, making sure that it fits within the time limit you've been given. Do not sit at your desk or your computer screen and read your speech. Face your imaginary audience and talk to them. When you are standing n front of a group, with several Set of eyes focused on you, it's the time to wear nice clothing. It should be clean and well fitting. Don't choose an outfit based on what looks good, but rather on what makes you good.

Now your are ready to stand up , deliver your speech, and do the presentation. Make eye contact with members of your audience. Speak slowly and breath slowly. Try to move your body and your eyes around the class. Do not leave the podium immediately. After you finish giving your speech, ask your audience if they have questions, and try to answer them. When you finish, walk back to your seat with a smile.

The reason for creating this outline are many. an outline make your speech easier. There are many reasons for making an outline. One reason is that it will make your speech easier.That can cause your speech to be motivational and presuave. Is that not one of your speech goals?

　

Writing Feedback / Comparison and contrast between Palestine and USA [8]

hello everyone
this is a compare and contrast essay
about Palestine and USA
i wrote the introduction
can some one fix it for me

Palestine country has been through a tragedy in the past years. The 1948 war attacks has made a huge impact on Palestine. Despite that event, The United States of America (commonly referred to as the United States, the U.S., the USA, or America) is a federal constitutional republic comprising fifty states and a federal district. Palestine is located in South-West Asia and is in the heart of the Middle East. To its north is Syria and Lebanon, to its south the Gulf of Aqaba and the Sinai Peninsula, and on its east is Jordan. United State is located in North America, bordering both the North Atlantic Ocean and the North Pacific Ocean, between Canada and Mexico. Both countries have are big, Palestine covers an area of 27.000 square kilometers. while united stated cover area At 3.79 million square miles (9.83 million km2). Both countries have many differences based on Holiday, food, and customs.

any suggestions??