Writing Feedback / Mercy & Grace - eternal life, eternal punishment [7]

Hi Minnie,

A noble essay for sure! The sentiment you put forth would certainly make for a much better world. I have put some suggestions below for your consideration. There are few things that come to mind that may, or may not, be useful for you. Grace and mercy can be difficult topics because they can overlap with other words similar in concept. They are also connotative, so it maybe worth differentiating with some similar words to see what best fits for your intended meaning. At any rate, I don't think you can go wrong by aiming to be concise. You've done a very nice job with some often not so easy concepts. I put some other words to compare and contrast and an edit to the first paragraph as an example. Good luck.

(1)THE RIGHT WORD:

Benevolence
If you want to win friends and influence people, it's best to start with benevolence, a general term for goodwill and kindness (a grandfather's benevolence).

Charity
Charity is even better, suggesting generous giving (the baker gave him bread out of charity) but also meaning tolerance and understanding of others (she viewed his selfish behavior with charity).

Compassion
Compassion is a feeling of sympathy or sorrow for someone else's misfortune (he has shown compassion for the homeless), and often includes showing mercy.

Mercy
Aside from its religious overtones, mercy means compassion or kindness in our treatment of others, especially those who have offended us or who deserve punishment (mercy toward the pickpocket).

Clemency
Clemency is mercy shown by someone whose duty or function it is to administer justice or punish offenses (: the judge granted clemency), while leniency emphasizes gentleness, softness, or lack of severity, even if it isn't quite deserved (a father's leniency in punishing his young son).

(1) Lindberg, C.A. Oxford American Writers Thesaurus. New York, NY: OUP, Inc., 2008. print

Topic: Mercy

A common adage says that grace gives what people do not deserve - eternal life; while mercy withholds what people do deserve - eternal punishment. However, mercy also applies to the temporal world.goes much deeper than thatIt is in mercy that we find empathy, compassion, and forgiveness; the essentials for genuine kindness between human beings.

Writing Feedback / argumentive essay on abortion - fallacies? [3]

Remember that the abortion debate in centrally focused on philosophical beginnings of life vs. the scienitific beginnings of life. If you are going to maintain that a fetus is not life you'll need some supporting evidence (your premises should support your claims), which is more difficult than one may think. You can get yourself into very deep waters quickly. You may want to consider conceding the "at which point does life begin" question and focus on making strong premises (as you have already done very well) that argue a pro-choice position on grounds of medical conditions that specifically endanger a mothers life, as well as pregnancy arising against a womens will i.e., incidents of rape. Good luck. Hope that helps.

One reason I am pro abortion is the fact that CLAIM1=a fetus is not life.PREMISE1a=fetus is a fertilized embryo attached to the wall of the uterus, basically a clump of developing cells.PREMISE1b=The rights that protect us are set aside for human beings, not animals, not an inanimate object, and definitely not undeveloped cells.

Fallacies of Relevance- Neither of your premises support the claim that a fetus is not life...
Another reason to further explain why CLAIM2=a fetus is not a humanPREMISE2a=is the fact that it is dependent on its host, the pregnant woman.PREMISE2b=Without the woman providing oxygen and nourishment to the fetus is it could not survive.PREMISE2c = Therefore it does not have an independent existence which is one of the most important characteristics of a human.

Reductio ad absurdum- a fetus is not human because it does not have independent exsistence; dependence is not (or less than) a characteristic of a human, therefore anything that is dependent is not (or less than) a human. Such would lead one to conclude that babies, toddlers, etc. are not human as they are certainly dependent for survival.

Another reason that I am for abortion is that CLAIM3=in certain special cases, [as well as general associated risks,] carrying out a pregnancy can be life threatening to the woman.PREMISE3a=People that have diseases such as a heart or kidney disease can face many dangerous pregnancy complications that could result in death.PREMISE3b=Other conditions that can arise regardless of prior medical condition is hemorrhaging and obstructed labor. Hemorrhaging is when the muscles rupture or tear in the uterus and cause uncontrollable bleeding. An example of this is 37 year old Elizabeth Davis who lived in Danville, Virginia where she died of a heart attack after having massive blood loss the day after having vaginal delivry.PREMISE3c=Also during childbirth the body bpumps extra blood to the body and if it becomes too high the mother could face fatality. It has been reported that woman dying from pregnancy complications has nearly tripled over the past decade in California and have increased mildly in other parts of the U.S.

Non sequitur or Appeal to probability: it does not follow that general risks associated with pregnancy are grounds to terminate pregnancy... However, specific risks that endanger the mother may follow... You may want to concentrate those specifically.

Here is your strongest argument One other reason that I am pro abortion is that many women who seek to terminate their pregnancy are pregnant against their own will because of incidents involving rape. Rape is forced sex upon a woman and leaves them emotionally scarred and in many cases they are impregnated during the terrifying process. A woman who is raped and impregnated should not be forced to nurse a fetus of her tormentor for nine months as a constant reminder of the pain that was caused to her. A study done in the years 1998 and 2000 show that each year 25,000 pregnancies occurred from rape each year, and of these 9000 were aborted thanks to the choice given to us by law. If abortion was illegal that would mean a total 25,000 babies would be brought into the world against a woman's will as a product of sexual abuse.

Scholarship / Partial scholarships essay help for master degree in marketing [4]

I have been working on my scholarships essay for a partial scholarships
[A good place to start is to spend a quality amount of time researching the philisophy and allegiances associated with your particular scholarship program. Approving commitees are usually looking for content. You want to clearly articulate an understanding of the programs overall philosophy for its existence i.e., the principles it was founded; the types of opportunities (beyond the obvious- finanial) the founders envisioned; and the specific ways the approving committee envisions awardees contributing in kind. Your essay will then combine those facts with your PS in such a way that clearly demonstrates your alignment with the organization, committe, program, and scholarship foundation.

Reword the three questions below to narrow down a search on the program to get started. I gave an example for each. But, there are many ways you may want to reword them to suit your specifics. Good luck. Hope that's some help to you.

1 Why u r applying 4 Brunel's schol programme What do you know about this program- that disquishes it from others?
2 How u will benefit from the opportunities that being given the award will provide This award provides you more that just financial benefit. It provides other opportunities that are mutually beneficial. What might be some mutually beneficial opportunities?

3 How u would contribute to the Brunel community during your studies here.What specific causes/initiatives have historically been of interest for the program, scholarhip fund, etc? What are they currently? Is there a commom principle? If so, do you share it?

Research Papers / My Scientific Method: steps and procedures (research) [6]

EssayForum

Very nice paper.

I'd suggest experimenting with some minor re-structuring for clarity in transition of style. You have an informative introduction that sets a technical and scientific tone for the reader which then shifts somewhat awkwardly to an expressive literary prose style. There is nothing wrong with this per se; as a matter of fact, your writing is crisp and focused. It's just a matter of transitioning. The edit below may should give the general idea. Nonetheless, you've written a very nice summary.