Writing Feedback / Children have trend to be significantly more violent and careless in their study and social life [2]

Hi everyone, this is the first essay for me here. Hopefully, you will revise it and give me an approximate band score.

Schools nowadays have severe problems with student behavior
discuss the causes and suggest solutions.

It is quite common these days to note that children in schools especially those in primary stage have trend to be significantly more violent and careless in their study and social life.from my perspective, I believe that modern radical change in technology might help to cause considerably large defect in student behavior.

Firstly, it is obvious that aquiculture and home rules that have to adopt by parents is the main factor in causing a tremendous change in new generation behavior. Although, nowadays the life of family suffers from hurry sickness as well as there is no enough time to spent on children, but partners should be supposed some important rules that substantially cover most critical issues of child's life.

Actually, because of very long and almost useless leisure time that is given to children, the behavior might be dramatically affected and the result has negative effect on child culture .Recently, parents often prefer to give children very long free time for playing outside home and spend daytime with another children that might result in learning new harmful habits.

Basically, new technologies has very significant reason in developing violence among students. Televsion , net surfing and modern aggressive electronic games cause huge change in children and teenagers thoughts as well as the way of their dealing with adult people .Nowadays, Most of children are largely affected by what they have seen and heard from movies scenes especially that of combat, sex and horror.

Lastly, there are many solutions have to take in consideration to prevent growth of these severe and quite dangerous problems of bad behavior .First of all is the parent's attention that should be cleared and continued from childhood until adulthood .Moreover, school has further crucial chore in bringing up children and learning them essential social rules in special subject.

Writing Feedback / 'dark metal genre'; About the Music and why it's important to many people? [2]

Hi everyone this is the second essay i've written. Hopefully, you will check it ..

People listen to music for different reasons and at different times. why is music important to many people? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice.

Although, nowadays the world has great diversity of entertainment ways, but still the music one of the most efficient and effective ways to interest in leisure times. Definitely lots of music sorts are deserved to be a part of our life. When people trace back the history of music, they will obviously know the necessary of music from our musician ancestors such as Beethoven which had found out the wonderful relationship between quite slow melodies and human's spirit also the master Beethoven had realized that music had crucial role in human's life as well as there is varied genres of tunes have nourished the people souls.

The most marvelous importance of hearing music is to know foreign cultures, traditions ,historical stories, old events and certain dances. Even though, modern and prominent music nowadays has been devoted to love relations, break up situations and pain that may resulted from passion, but there are some special genres still surviving to transfer different cultures, customs and legendary fairytales .So, beside the factors of getting entertainment, people could either gain new information about far and away nations.

Whenever we've got blues, depression, stress and anxiety, music will be the favourable solution . In some places in Asia people used to get relaxation when they've listened to slow type of music which also helped in damping the negative thoughts that might control human's mind and lead to nervousness or despair. However, there is some kind of music and songs have caused depression, because people who have listened might remembered old memories which was responsible for pain and hurt.

Interestingly, pop and hip hop music plays very significant role in workout at gym, aerobics and jogging .Basically, music initiate enthusiasm and persistence which are considerably needed to carry out hard sporting exercises. Hence, music is one of many different factors that is participated in building up healthy body.

To sum up the debate, from my point of view, music in various kinds and patterns is provided easy manner of entertainment and hugely responsible for elevating the level of human thoughts and health. However, not every genre in music and songs consider as incentive factor in society, because recently we have noted prevalence of anti-religious rock music genres as ' dark metal genre' that might keep people ignorant of pure truths of desirable music and spread lots of moral poisons.