Graduate / SOP: Asian Studies M.A. for Andrea Gill [4]

Hello! My name is Andrea and I am applying for an M.A. in Asian Studies. My focus will be on Japanese and Japanese folk religion. This is my first draft SOP and it would be nice to have other pairs of eyes look over it for me. Your honest criticism will be greatly appreciated! The instructions simply asked for me to describe my interests and my future goals.

Thankyou.

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I remember watching with wide eyed curiosity as paper lanterns floated gently by on the rivers dark waters. The lanterns worked on brightening the star swept sky with their flickering lights as they coursed across the water. The entire river had been filled from bank to bank with these lanterns, placed by loving hands down into the water to guide the spirits of loved ones who have passed, guiding them back home for the festival of the dead. I remember watching the O-bon festival for the first time when I was seven years old. My mother and father and I had just moved to Japan only a week before and this was my first experience with the culture of a country that I had never even heard of before. This first glimpse into an ever expanding new world was one that sparked my imagination and ignited the flame of curiosity that I have carried with me ever since.

My B.A. in Asian Studies is the result of this flame. For me it is an ongoing thirst for knowledge on the culture and religions of Japan. Having lived in Japan for three years as a child I was exposed to the various daily rituals and festivals that the people of Japan celebrate, without fail, throughout the year. Even after leaving Japan I was still fascinated by the synchronistic relationship of Buddhism and Shinto and, as soon as I began my undergraduate study, I began to research Japanese religion, culture, and life-marking rituals in earnest. Despite this it wasn't until after I took a class in Zen Buddhism that my interest in the Buddhist traditions of Japan was firmly cemented in with my love of the Japanese culture. To satisfy my burning desire to learn more, I took several classes in Japanese history, art, and popular culture. These were followed up with several more classes on Buddhism and Asian philosophies. I also took a class on the Geography of Asia, a large part of which was focused on Japan, and in this class I was given to the idea that religion and geography go hand in hand with the culture of its people. This was a unique idea to me and was something that I wanted to explore further. And so it was during this growing awareness of the possible geographically induced magico-religious customs of the Japanese that led me to my investigations of Japanese folk religions so that when my history Professor introduced me to the mountain religion of Shugendo, I was struck. My Professor, knowing of my growing interest in mountain based folk religions introduced me to the works of Allan Grapard and Hitoshi Miyake. And through their work I found what I was looking for. A religion that was formed on ancient shamanistic beliefs based on the geographic formations of the land, allowing its practitioners, ancient and modern, an accessible path of speaking with the Gods. Having found a subject that inspired me towards further study I contacted my Religious Studies advisor and initiated a two semester long independent study, the accumulation of which was a paper on the rituals practiced and the pilgrimages taken by the adherents of Shugendo; and also led to my minor in Religious studies.

Along with these various classes I also began to study the Japanese language in preparation of further study. I immediately understood that in order for me to progress along my studies in Japanese folk religion I would need to develop language competency. This is one of the many reasons I chose to apply to Ohio State University. One of the critical things I looked for when researching for graduate schools was a solid program in the Japanese language along with a strong support system for learners of the language. Though I recognize that my language abilities in Japanese are still young, I know that with the resources and support offered by your program I have no doubts that I will obtain the proficiency needed for study beyond the M.A. degree. And, after reviewing the numerous amounts of classes offered by your university in both language and religious studies, in particular Buddhism and philosophy, I grew excited on the prospect of being a student at Ohio State.

On further research into your university I found several Professors who might share my interests and whom I would be grateful to work alongside. One of which would be Thomas Kasulis. His book, Zen Action/Zen Person, was one that my Zen Buddhism Professor had included on the curriculum. My main interest lies in Japanese folk religion, namely Shugendo, and how its modern adherents have blended their lives with ancient practices. I want to further investigate how sacred places become, in turn, sacred spaces in both the minds of practitioners and in the religious geographies associated with these pilgrimages as they travel from valley to mountain and back again. I believe that these interests of mine could be applicable toward a better understanding of the effects of religious pilgrimages found in other areas of the world as it is my belief that society and culture are affected by the natural environments in which they develop.

I believe that with my unique interests in Japanese folk religion, and with the previous experiences that I have in the subject matter, I would make and ideal candidate for the M.A. in East Asian Studies. If I am given the opportunity to study at Ohio State, I believe that my research in Shugendo as a folk religion would contribute greatly to an understanding of how people, religion, and the environment in which they live, interact on overlapping and interlacing boundaries. In the future, on gaining my PhD, I want to offer classes on the various religious traditions of Japan, the mode and mind of the pilgrim and pilgrimages, and also examine the contemporary issues that followers of minority religions must deal with in order to gain a sense of significance within the modern world. If you ask me if I knew what I would be doing ten years from now I could tell you, without hesitation, that I will find my life's satisfaction while working as a Professor of within the Asian Studies or Religious Studies department at a university that needs someone to help implement a productive scholastic program for individuals who, like me, fill the indescribable need to take their exploration across the waves to the islands of Japan.

Graduate / Graduate entry Statement Writing (mentioning professors names, jargon, major, sign [4]

I have a few questions, sorry if I am repeating previous questions but its easier to look for them in this one spot than to dig them up all over.

1.Is it alright to mention Professors names whom have helped you/ you look up to / you worked with in your SOP?
2.Should I state what University I am coming from in the statement or does that matter?
3. Is it alright to use major specific jargon? (i.e. nihonjinron, sankinkotai, samurai, daibutsu, etc)
4. Should I assume that the reader knows about the major I am applying for and therefore not need to explain certain things (like the jargon above)? Or should I write like they know what I am saying?

5. Should I sign the botton of it? (i.e. Andrea Gill, B.A. Asian Studies, University of Tennessee)

Thank you for the help. I will post more questions if I think of any.

Graduate / MOVING SO OFTEN; Hardships - Personal Statment for Michigan [7]

Hello, this is a personal statment. They wanted me to talk about hardships, etc. that I have worked through to go to college. Its very different for me to write about myself...could any of you please look over this? This is my first draft:

University of Michigan
Personal Statement
Andrea Knicole Gill

When I was a child I had the unique opportunity of being able to travel to various places around the world. Both of my parents were in the military and so I grew accustomed to having to move every so many years. I spent most of my youth living outside of the United States. We spent a very small amount of time in Korea, three years in Germany, ten years in England, and three years in Japan as well as several months in between each time period in California. Despite having been to so many various places, I believe my stay in Japan was the most memorable for me. Of all the places I had been to it was the most unique. Since my parents never really liked to live in military housing, we always lived off post and so I was able to experience many things that other military children were unable to. I remember taking part in the various festivals and was able to make several Japanese friends. I believe that these positive experiences with such a foreign culture compared to my own are why I gravitated towards wanting to learn Japanese later in my life.

Even though I was able to spend some time learning about the language and the culture of the Japanese while in Japan, I was unable to continue my learning due to having to move so often. The schools that I went to didn't offer Japanese language and cultural opportunities on Asia were not offered at all. On occasion, when cultural classes were offered, the classes were on the basics of calligraphy, ikebana, and the repetition of basic phrases. When my parents chose to leave the military we moved to Tennessee because we have family here. I was pleased to learn that the University of Tennessee offered Japanese courses. I was set on taking Japanese as soon as I got into college but I had to overcome several roadblocks before attending the University. One of these roadblocks was a learning disability.

I was diagnosed with a math learning disability when I was in the fourth grade, I had always received help for this, even while in England, but when I returned to the United States the high school that I attended did not have a sufficient program for my needs. They doubted whether I actually had a disability since they were unable to receive my records from England and put no effort into contacting my previous schools in California. Because of this I received almost no help and was unable to pass the state math test (TCAP) for graduation and was instead offered a Special Education Diploma for the class of 1999. Feeling defeated I accepted the Diploma only to find out that I could not attend the University with it. I decided to go into the military only to find they too wouldn't accept me. Having lost my goals in life I started working at a fast food restaurant, I married my boyfriend of two years at this time, and I didn't know what I really wanted to do, I felt lost and miserable that all my plans were being turned into one disappointment after another. My husband started college but then decided it wasn't for him and dropped out. I was disappointed in this situation as well and grew very depressed. My saving grace came in the form of a previous teacher who knew of my situation. She believe that I deserved a higher opportunity and arranged for me to be able to meet with a state funded tutor and for two years I studied and was finally able to pass the test and was given a final Diploma with the class of 2001. After so many years of worry and work I believe that I lost myself and my goals and so, even though I could now attend college, I instead joined the military. It was while I served in the military that I found myself again. I was stationed in Germany for two years and while there I was reintroduced to Japanese by a friend. He had taken Japanese at his high school. I was thrilled when I found that I actually remembered some phrases and could still write a little in Hiragana and could read some of the simple words in magazines that he loaned to me. He began to teach me some of the grammar and gave me his old study books. I decided that no matter what, when I got out of the military, I was going to go to college and learn Japanese. But, as I was slowly beginning to realize, things don't seem to really work out the way I plan them too. It was around this time that I also found out that I was pregnant.

By this time my husband and I realized that we had conflicting ideas on life and how to raise a child. We divorced. He left me with sole custody of the child but unfortunately the military will not allow a single mother to serve. I was discharged from the military earlier than I intended. As a newly single mother I was scared and unsure of the future. Luckily for me I have a loving family who took me in and has helped me to raise my daughter for the last five years of her life while I have been in college. I didn't start college until after her first year of life and then began to take classes at my local community college. It was there that I met my current husband, a Japan fanatic, who helped me with my math and, later, my Japanese. He also happily and wholly took over the role of fatherhood. When I was finally able to attend the University of Tennessee I began my formal study of Japanese. I still have issues with math and I am a little slower when it comes to memorization of Kanji and certain grammar points, I believe that this is due, in part, to my disability. I have accepted that I am a little slower but I work very hard to improve myself. During my first year of University I also began to study Buddhism and I took an extreme interest in an offshoot of the Shingon school of Buddhism known as Shugendo. I decided to work towards a minor in Religious Studies and have successfully done so. I decided to pursue graduate study at the University of Michigan because my religious studies professor, Dr. Rachelle Scott, based on my unique interests and hard work, suggested the University to me. I looked into the Graduate departments for Asian studies and Asian Languages and Cultures and decided that the latter would be the best fit for me as it is my goal to move beyond the M.A. degree. My family and I are very excited at the prospect of joining your University; we consider my acceptance to the college as being an acceptance of the entire family. My daughter starts her first year of Kindergarten this fall and she is very excited, she can't wait for the day to come when she can go to college too.