Writing Feedback / TOELF: Thomas Edison - One famous person you would like to meet [7]

Hi all, its my first post here. I hope you can help me to improve my writing.
Feel free to give me your advices about everything - content, clarity, punctuation, grammar etc. Just everything you think is good to be modified, in order to write better essays for TOEFL.

Thank you all in advance.

The topic is "If you could travel back in time to meet a famous person from history,what person would you like to meet? Use specific reasons and examples to support your choice."

This is pretty short essay but its one of my first tries. Here it is :

If I could meet a famous person form history, this definitely would be Thomas Edison. His inventions changed the history and the way people live nowadays. I would learn lots of thing from him and this would motivate me in my future work as electronic engineer.

Thomas Edison originated the generation and implementation of electric power. This was crucial invention for the modern industrialized world. I can hardly imagine what would the world be now, if there wasn't electricity.

In addition to the electrical generation, Thomas Edison invented the light bulb, which was great implementation of the electrical energy. Before his discovery, this type of energy was known to people, but there wasn't any practical usage of it. After that, every singe man on the planet could take advantage of having light all night long.

Furthermore, Edison invented the telegraph - the forerunner of all well known telecommunication systems. Without his inventions, there would be neither television nor internet. I want to know what made him to think in this direction, why he devoted his time to work for something, which was considered impossible.

All in all, the inventions of Thomas Edison are great push for science and I consider him one of the greatest men in written history. I would like to meet him and talk about his thoughts and what inspired him. This would be a breath-stopping experience, which would motivate me to learn more about electricity and electronics.

240 Words

Writing Feedback / TOEFL:Ways of learning about life & Quickly made decisions are wrong [4]

Hi all, there are two more essays. I'm looking forward for your feedbacks. Every comment on grammar, vocabulary, content etc. would be appreciated. I know they are bit short, im trying to write them longer...But it seems that i need some more practice, because i cant manage to write everything for 30 min.

Thanks in advance.

Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning. Which do you think is preferable?

Different people learn in different ways about life. Some prefer to learn by the advice of their family and others prefer to learn by personal experience. The both ways of learning have their advantages and disadvantages, but in my opinion its better to learn by listening to advice of others.

Personal experience is substantial for learning about life. The first-hand experience is always a good way to understand how things work. One can see all the pros and cons of every decision he/she took and he/she can react more adequately in similar situations. Also, there are events that happen regardless you want or not, so it is better to learn something from them.

On the other hand, listening to the advice of parents and friends is very helpful, because they have their own personal experience and share it with their children. Consequently, the children do not need to try everything by themselves and can take advantage of the parents knowledge. Furthermore, the parents are grown-up people, they have more experience than their kid, and therefore parents' thoughts are more prudent. Besides, friends most often share similar problems and their experience should be put into use, as well.

Considering all advantages of both ways of learning, I prefer to learn about life by listening to the advice of friends and family. They always do their best to help me and their tips are worth listening to. Everything they say and do is prompted by the wish to help.

In conclusion, the best way to learn for life is to combine listening to your parents and friends with personal experience.

268 Words

Agree or disagree: The decisions that people make quickly are always wrong

Sometimes there is not enough time to think about a decision I should make. Thus, I'm forced to make my choice quickly, without many considerations. However, sometimes it seems that the choice I made is the correct one. In my view quickly made decisions are not always wrong.

When I take a test, there are some questions that I am not able to answer. When I face such a question, I just pick up one of the answers and hope it to be the correct one. And actually, there is 25% chance to hit the right answer (provided that there are 4 possible choices). In this case thinking can help at some degree, to eliminate one or two of them if they are obviously incorrect, but that's not the point. When I make my choices, I almost always count on luck. That's my strategy and it works.

Furthermore, one should rely on his instinct. Under some circumstances there is absolutely no time to think. For instance, if there is a fire in my apartment I have no time to think. I should quickly choose a direction and run. And there are plenty of people, who saved their life this way, only counting on their instincts. In such a situation, taking time to think can be lethal.

Moreover, if I have enough time to consider all the cons and pros of a problem I have, there is danger of not being able to choose anything at all. And that's even worse than making a wrong decision.

In conclusion, I am sure that there is wide variety of situations, when carefully consideration of the problem leads to better decision, but that is definitely not "always" the case.

285 Words