Undergraduate / "my trip to India and China" - I will be applying early decision to Dartmouth. [4]

This is my common app essay keep in mind that I am applying early decision to dartmouth. Be critical as possible. Thank you very much.

As we mature, our general perspective on life progresses in tune with our daily experiences. While some are faced with negative experiences, others have the opportunity to fill their lives with positive and meaningful ones. It can safely be said that a man is a sum total of his life's experiences. Perception is one thing that is dictated by an individuals experience, and is subject to change from day-to-day. As a young boy, my perception was heavily affected by my parents' decision to move to America in search of higher education. At this young age, a move across town, let alone the world, would have been a memorable enough experience to change anyone's notion of the world. As I grew older, I continued to gather several unique experiences of the world, traveling all over the United States and frequently visiting India in order to stay in touch with my family and heritage. Now, through my travels my perspective on things began to change. I started to view the world outside of my "bubble," generally constructed from the safety of my home, school, parents and friends. I was introduced to diversity and world cultures. My most unique experience however occurred last summer between junior and senior year. Keep in mind, I had first traveled alone across America at the age of five to visit my family, but this summer was bound to be an entirely different experience. While most students plan summer vacations on the beaches of Florida and the trails of the Appalachian Mountains, my friend and I planned a rather unique trip alone to the two most populated countries in the world: India and China.

We began to plan our trip several months in advance in order to ensure we would maximize our time there. Among many other sights, we visited, Delhi (the nation's capital), Agra (sight of the Taj Mahal), Jaipur (the Pink City known for its palaces), Ajanta & Ellora Caves (ancient Jain, Buddhist, and Hindu cave temples) and Mumbai (the business capital of India). While the history was fascinating, the truly captivating part was experiencing the culture. The language, food, people, clothing and mannerisms all changed from city to city and we saw a greater divide moving from one state to another. The influence of the Mughals, British and several other empires was evident in every location. Even more evident was the stark dichotomy between rich and poor. Within a country of hungry millions, many were well educated and well off. In one village, my American friend was attacked by a small group of kids with rocks. Till then I hadn't realized, that to them, this stranger in fact seemed an intruder among their people who was unable to comprehend their lifestyle. This event acted as a tool to help open my eyes to the world, creating a shift in perception from my rather "Americanized" views.

While India had provided a rare experience, our trip to China was certainly more eye opening in the sense that it further altered my perception of community, service, family, and friends. Our purpose in China was of a different nature. We traveled to the small village of Changliu in the Conghua district of the Guangdong province to help its people build houses that would provide shelter and greater stability. Among many firsts, this was the first time I had visited China and the first time I would be building a house. Prepared for a week of hard work, we departed by train from Hong Kong not knowing what to expect. When we arrived we were greeted by a group of villagers who promptly set up a makeshift marketplace in the hope we would purchase their crops, goods and animals. The building commenced and we immediately got to work digging the foundation, moving bricks, and mixing cement. Without any large machinery, many tasks that would have generally been much easier took a significant amount of extra effort and time. Over the next five days we started to make friends with the locals. I was astonished by the village's sense of community. Everyone, whether or not it was their house being built, would help during construction. Family was equally important in the village. Young villagers would collectively care for the elders and children. One of the defining moments of the trip took place when one of the girls whose house we were building wrote us a heartfelt letter describing her family's situation from her brother's illness to her difficult childhood. Regardless of these hardships she seemed to always keep a smile on her face willingly helping us in anyway possible. As we left the village a week later, I truly felt as though I had lived there my whole life and was overcome by a sense of satisfaction that I had been a part of creating new living conditions for those in need.

On our trip back to Hong Kong I continued to reflect on the experience and its effect on my perception. I realized that there are certain things that we frequently take for granted including our families, friends, teachers, and communities. These people make it their goal to build the foundation of our lives and ensure our success. Often in our society we fail to see their importance but through my experiences in India and China I became conscious of their significant role in our lives. Overall, my trip to India and China was a defining event in my life and one that I will never forget.

By: Ameya Ashish Deshmukh

Undergraduate / "Find X, the missing element" - University of Chicago Essay [4]

X is the missing element. The one ingredient not present in the otherwise perfect recipe. Finding "x" has always been the challenge, originating from our very first algebra class. Often we are presented with a rather simple equation that, whether we know it or not, requires the earliest of our math knowledge. In finding "x," we are able to complete the formula and calculate the missing variable. In this manner, life often follows a similar pattern. "X" is a combination of all the things I never did and things I wish to achieve but have yet to; things that if I did, would contribute to the overall perfection of my life. In comparing life to a math problem, we must also consider the obstacles and challenges we are faced with in attempting to find what is missing in our lives. This task requires the conscious application of our past experiences that we have acquired throughout our lives.

Among the many things that I wish I had done is participate in some form of athletics. In today's society, being fit and healthy is incessantly encouraged. It is difficult to escape the infomercials advertising the new work-out machine or the newest and best diet plan. As a high school student surrounded by friends who all take part in everything from football to swimming to rugby I often consider how my life would have been affected had I been a part of one of these highly competitive activities. I have observed that by participating in organized athletics leads to very regimented and organized lives. Given their busy schedules, they are forced to prepare such that they are able to finish all their work in a timely fashion. Additionally, athletes are extremely fit, a characteristic I lack. Had I participated in a sport I feel my life would be healthier and more disciplined. These are both essential traits to possess in order to succeed in life and the lessons learned from this can be applied directly in the future.

Until my final years of my high school career, I didn't realize how much I enjoyed community service. Every year we are forced to complete, at the least, six hours of service. I would often put off my service requirement until the end of the summer, scrambling to get in my hours. Rarely did I get time to enjoy what I did, and fully understand its importance. Finally in junior year, I became heavily involved in High Schoolers for Haiti, an organization that would raise money to help the relief efforts in Haiti. My involvement continued to grow and I became central to setting up and running several charity events. Once I started seeing the hard work turn into results, the satisfaction of helping started to become more enjoyable. I quickly got involved in other service projects including my involvement in Habitat for Humanity in China. Community service is truly a missing element and I hope to incorporate into my life as I grow up. It would indeed bring a sense of satisfaction and would allow me to immerse myself into my own community.

In the future I plan to incorporate travel as much as possible into my life. Until now I have not been given the opportunity to travel the world outside of my homeland, India. Seeing the world is no doubt many people's dreams but subsequent to my experiences in India and China this summer I picture myself traveling all over the world with my friends and family. This would provide me the opportunity to explore different cultures, histories, and peoples. In doing so I would be able to establish stronger relationships with people from those countries and connect with them beyond a superficial level. This is key to becoming more tolerant, which is essential in piecing together our broken society that fosters discrimination and bigotry. This is often a result of misinformed and intolerant individuals. I feel I can discover the world and fulfill the missing "x" through my travels.

All of our lives are a complex recipe, composed of various spices, herbs and secret ingredients. In any good recipe, before it can be completed we must make sure that no ingredient is missing. I believe that until now, the aforementioned "ingredients" are the missing element "x," in my life. To ensure that the recipe include these ingredients I will make an effort to incorporate these variables into my future as much as possible. I believe this will make me a better human being and one with a more holistic view of the world.

Any suggestions...concerns...comments. THANKS!

Ameya Ashish Deshmukh

Undergraduate / "Tradition of excellence: biology, physics, and chemistry" -Columbia University Essay [4]

Please Tell Us What You Find Most Appealing About Columbia And Why. (1500 Character Limit)

Columbia University represents a tradition of excellence that has served as the launching pad for the careers of several highly successful individuals. Their fields of study have spanned from the basic sciences to the arts and from literature to business. As an individual who wishes to be challenged and placed among the best and the brightest, I believe that Columbia would be able to best cater to my career goals. My involvement in science research over the last six years has helped me discover my passion for the biological and physical sciences. Even as an undergraduate, I would like to participate in the strong research tradition Columbia has been a part of. I find these opportunities to be one of the most appealing traits of Columbia. I plan to further utilize the knowledge that I acquire at Columbia in biology, physics, and chemistry, to eventually make contributions in the biomedical sciences through my graduate research. My scholarly interests, however, extend beyond the basic sciences to the liberal arts and social sciences. My ultimate career goal is to start a business focused on creating technological solutions using cutting edge research in the biomedical sciences. I strongly believe that Columbia University will provide me with all the skills I need to succeed in the highly competitive environment of the 21st century.

any suggestions or points of criticism and concern are welcomed. Thanks.