Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate-and us-know you better.
The answer to the question is as follows:
Dear roommate,
I should probably introduce myself. Well, first off, my name is Greg Chan, and I'm from Portland, Oregon. I am seventeen years old, and I am a second generation Chinese-American. I play piano and violin and I enjoy videogames and getting good grades. Basic introductions usually involve some boring spiel including names, ages, and whatnot. An awkward silence or miscellaneous icebreaker usually follows. My goal in this note is to eradicate all these rather undesirable introduction qualities and create an environment in which you will get to both know me better and not feel awkward or shy regardless of your character or personality. I believe that first impressions are always the most important when meeting a new person, especially if that person is someone you will possibly living with for a few years. In other words, a first impression can have an enormous impact on what others think of you in the future, even if it is not good.
One thing you should know about me is that I am a very social person; I enjoy talking to people, and listening to what others have to say (although I tend to talk too much on occasion). Sometimes this can be to my advantage due to the ease with which I am able to communicate with other people; however, there have been moments where my talkative traits have hindered me. Although I had only this short space to leave my first impression, I feel that it has been quite productive and I hope to see you in the near future!
Sincerely,
Greg Chan
Tell us what makes Stanford a good place for you.
For this question, I had difficulty in answering the actual question; this explains why I have three different second paragraphs. The first paragraph is the same for all three answers. Each second paragraph is numbered.
The answer to the question is as follows:
First paragraph
Saying what makes Stanford a good place for me is quite simple-honestly, who is Stanford not a good place for? Although many would argue that a prestigious school is not a correct match for every individual, attending Stanford certainly embodies the hopes and dreams of many prospective students whether they accomplish their goal or not. I, for one, have been anticipating the time that I could finally attempt to gain an education at Stanford, perhaps since I was only in elementary school. Initially, I was under the impression that attending Stanford was a privilege only for those who excelled in every way possible, in academics, in athletics, in the arts; in essence, the "perfect person." Since then I have learned that this is not the case-at least in most circumstances .
1. Second paragraph number one
One of my attributes that I consider the most important is determination. The college application process is long and arduous, and applying to Stanford is no joke. Through pure determination and perhaps a little "encouragement" from others, I am motivated to make the best of this application. Other than my traits of determination, I consider Stanford to be a premier match for me because of its wide range of possible studies, academic rigor, and overall reputation. Coming from a small school, I have been privy to small class sizes, intense curriculum including a full IB diploma program, and a plethora of extracurricular activities. To the best of my knowledge, Stanford has all of these and more-it embodies exactly what I value such as a good education for all, community service, and most of all, the determination to succeed. That is what makes Stanford a great fit for me-in a nutshell.
2. Second paragraph number two.
Stanford would be a great match for me simply of my sheer perseverance and determination. These are traits that I consider to be my strongest, and they apply to almost everything I pursue. Determination is a very important quality to have, especially during tough, seemingly impossible challenges (applying to college being one of them). Although being selected to attend Stanford may depend on your grades and test scores, the essay is also a crucial component of the admissions process. The essay allows the student to express in writing their hopes and dreams, as well as their personalities. In essence, it allows for admissions officials to know the applicant on a more personal level. An essay can show many different traits of an individual, and I know I have expressed my desire and determination to attend Stanford through this limited space.
3. Second paragraph number three.
I would describe one of my strengths as being perseverance, or determination. This may lead to better or worse, but it usually manifests in a manner that benefits. In my opinion, one of the key factors to college admission is a person's desire or passion to attend the college, and what they are willing to do in order to reach that goal. Although some of this attributes to grades, extracurricular activities, and test scores, I believe that if a person truly has the drive to attend a certain school, their determination will push them to try their hardest and if they don't get in, they will at least have the satisfaction of knowing they did their best.
Any help is appreciated!
Thank you!!
Speaking as a Stanford student, none of these are good. I fail to see how any of the 3 options portray Stanford more than say... Harvard or Princeton or Yale. More rule of thumb is: If you replace Stanford with Harvard and everything still makes sense, then the essay doesn't work. You need way more specifics, such as what type of special courses Stanford offers, or special events. As of right now, it is too generic and you have almost no chance of getting in. But don't worry - you still have time to change it! Good luck.
For your roommate essay, the first paragraph doesn't really accomplish anything. You spend a lot of time talking about the importance of first impressions, but you don't spend enough time leaving a good first impression on the reader, let alone the Stanford Admissions Officer.
Also, try to minimize the "I believe" statements because those tend to weaken your argument. Instead of "I believe that first impressions are always the most important when meeting a new person..." you should just stick to "First impressions are always..."
"I play piano and violin..." makes you sound like a stereotypical "asian". "I am a social person"...also doesn't do much to make you stand out.
What makes you UNIQUE? What makes you stand out amongst the other thousands of applicants?
If you want to leave a good first impression, leave them with something memorable.
Sorry if these comments are harsh.
Best of luck, Greg.
