Posts by zula

zula

Sep 13, 2010

Undergraduate / Anorexia: (issue of importance) - Essay E Ut admission [6]

I think you should write more about how it has impacted you emotionally and helped you grow as a person. You give to much information about what anorexia is, and it gets kind of repetitive. You should also re-read it there are some grammar mistakes. But i think it is a great topic because it is something that you relate to

zula

Sep 13, 2010

Undergraduate / "Embracing life and not battlig it" - Significant Experience & its Impact on Me [8]

i think your essay is good, but you should start with a more captivating first sentence. you should re-read it and decide whether to write in past or present tense. here are some things i think you can change, but there are still quite a few more.

"and risking the chance of catching a virus." putting myself at risk of catching a virus
"I thought that when I ~~meet~~met the children"

what did you want to say when you wrote "they would look like the kids in commercials, crying because I would have." that you thought they would be crying, because if you were in there situation you would cry, or that you thought they would be crying because thats what you saw on tv?

"These ~~are~~ children ~~that wear~~wore the same clothes everyday because they ~~have~~had no other option."

"They were left abandoned, and ~~have~~with no chance of ~~becoming~~being adopted

"When I came home from my trip, a few weeks later my parents were separated" i think this would sound better "A few weeks after coming home from my trip, my parents separated."

zula

Sep 13, 2010

Undergraduate / Statement of Purpose UT TRANSFER CHEMICAL ENGINEERING [3]

THIS IS MY SoP, I WANTED TO SEE WHERE I COULD IMPROVE. THANKS

I have moved so many times, I don't think I can even remember the names of all the schools I've been in. From the US, to Canada, to Mexico, to Spain; I've never really been able to answer the question, where are you from? The longest I have ever stayed anywhere has been 5 years.

I always hated moving, I couldn't stand saying goodbye, it felt like I was leaving a little part of me behind; but now after so many goodbyes and so many experiences' in different countries, I am grateful to have been able to grow up in so many different cultures. I am sure I would not be the same person I am today if my life had been any different.

All the people I've met, the strange holidays I've celebrated, the different foods I have tasted, have taught me that we live in a very diverse world; every community, city, state, country and continent has something unique about it. It amazes me how everyone is different, but people from the same country or community have the same principles. I like to believe I have taken a little of these beliefs and principles from everywhere I've been and that this strange combination makes me who I am.

When they ask me what nationality I am, I always proudly say I am an American, though I never truly understand exactly what it means. I love my country, but I love all the other countries I have lived in just as much. It may sound strange but my love towards the countries I have lived is what developed my interest in chemical engineering.

"Treat the earth well, it was not given to you by your parents. It was loaned to you by your children." - Kenyan Proverb. We live in a beautiful world, with amazing things everywhere you go, but a great part of the population is only concerned with preserving it long enough for them to live there lives or maybe even there children, which I believe is selfish.

I am deeply concerned about the ecological consequences we are facing because of all our production and consumption. We are on the right path towards sustainable development; there are a lot more fuel-efficient cars, many solar panels being used for energy, and a lot more recycling going on than a few years back, but there is a lot more to be accomplished.

Chemistry can be applied in many different fields such as water treatment, energy efficiency, renewable resources, preventing contamination and many others. The truth is I am extremely interested in all these fields. I am convinced that they are what will lead me towards reaching my goals, which are to preserve our ecosystem the best way possible and to conserve our planet in livable conditions as long as possible.