Scholarship / "concept that intellectually excites you" essay; "I have a question" [5]

Hello.

Please help me with the following essay (e.g. if there are any inconsistencies, bad organization, difficult to understand sections; not only grammar). Also, I have about 30 too many words...

Thank you very much

Describe an experience that you have had or a concept you have learned about that intellectually excites you. When answering this question, you may want to consider some of the following questions: Why does this topic excite you? How does it impact the way you or others experience the world? What questions do you continue to ponder about it?

My mother lays down 'F' is For Fugitive, picks up her earplugs, puts one in, then pauses as she hears three quick, light knocks.
"Yes?"
I walk in with a sheepish grin and my hands behind my back:
"I have a question."
She plucks out the earplug, looks up at me, and sighs, knowing that if this proceeds as usual she will not get to sleep for another half hour.

"Did life occur randomly- or was it a natural sequence, similar the Grand Canyon's formation?" I asked, bouncing off theories until I produced a temporary conclusion. I subsequently moved on to one of the many other questions that had just budded. After numerous iterations I was lead to:

"Why is life so special, anyway? We're just a bunch of atoms."
"That you have to figure out for yourself. Goodnight."
Though probably an evasion, those words remained ringing in my ears for quite a while.
One year later, backpacking in the Sierras with uncles, aunts, and cousins, I am the first to reach the ridge overlooking Midnight Lake. A rainbow trout shimmers in the navy blue water underneath a looming thunderhead. Across the lake, up a steep, evergreen-splashed slope, past a snow-capped peak, a bolt of lightning flashes. Unconsciously I exhale "beautiful".

That light, simply alternating electric and magnetic fields, reaches me from its distant origin. Next, I convert it into a picture, using a signal that employs the same type of energy as the lightning itself. This image takes up no space yet for me makes up all space. It portrays beauty and I feel wonder. Wonder: a feeling easily defined as a word, a word that everyone can associate with a feeling, but what is it really - a chemical reaction, an electrical signal, perhaps something more? Furthermore, does this wonder result from the outside world's conditioning to appreciate such a scene, or is it instinctual, developed to advance survival? But if the latter is the case, how? How could there be a chromosomal mutation that associates certain external stimuli with an internal feeling (whatever that is).

The thunder crashes and reverberates in me along with these contemplations. I finally get it.
True, that trout, those pines, and I are all composed of the same elements as the rocks, air, and clothes I wear. Yet life transcends its molecular composition: it has come to the point of recognizing itself. Moreover, I craft my own path. I could drown in the crowd, but I aspire to fly higher.

Exploring life, from synaptic vesicles to symbiotic relationships to the sense of wonder this search elicits, is its own reward. I do not aim for omniscience. Instead I seek to continuously augment my understanding and eventually discover knowledge and solutions that improve others' lives- when life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make super-lemons*. From the delicious-looking trout to the majestic pine to my own perspective, this self-sustaining system is indeed a wonder to behold. That I, but an unlikely combination of atoms, can pose these questions, answer them, and forge my own- as well as others'- futures is beautiful in itself.

My uncle strides up beside me.
"That's beauty, huh?"

*This is from a tv show. Do I need to cite that or should I just take it out?

Undergraduate / Opportunities, knowledge, diversity, symphonic band, tennis team - Why Stanford [5]

I need to cut out 200 characters, thanks for your help!

Why is Stanford good for you?

Stanford, unparalleled in its opportunities for exploration, is the ideal school for me.

Before my living situation changed, each night I would knock on my mother's door, enter, and declare: "I have a question." She would put down her mystery novel and sigh, knowing this would take at least twenty minutes. I would then ask, for example: "Do religion and science both stem from an evolved need to understand one's surroundings?" bounce off theories, and proceed to a new question.

Here, I am satisfying my unquenchable thirst for knowledge with the metaphorical pineapple smoothie that represents exploring new ideas. At Stanford, this drink is served up daily by students who have in common a love of learning and preference for collaboration.

Diversity makes these ideas interesting. Stanford represents over 90 countries, 50 states, and thousands of points of view. This is a refreshing change from my high school, where almost everyone is a white Californian and "republican" is practically a swear word. There, I befriend international students such as Brian from Hong Kong or Francisco from Chile whenever possible.

In four years of Symphonic Band, I have played alto, tenor, and baritone saxophone, as well as bassoon. I need to try everything. Stanford promotes academic freedom, so I can delve into topics from Neuroscience to Nietzsche, and far beyond.

Also, I firmly believe that "When life gives you lemons, you clone those lemons and make super-lemons" (Clone High). Watching Professor Shenoy speak about neural prosthetics, I could not stop smiling at the thought of partaking in similar endeavors, a commonplace practice at Stanford. I kept shaking my head in disbelief; but it's true: Stanford is real.

I will join a tennis team and a jazz ensemble or perhaps the legendary marching band. I will work and engage in public service; mentoring in an East Palo Alto school appeals to me. Yet I cannot list everything; Stanford is perfect for me because there are always new experiences to explore.