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"the girls' basketball team" - one of your extracurricular activities/work experience


jcoraizaca 1 / 1  
Oct 19, 2010   #1
In my native country I became playing basketball in first grade. Since I was a little girl I have always love the competition the camaraderie. So when I came to Abbot Tech I found my self a chance to become a member of the girls' basketball team. The goal that I set on the end of my sophomore year of high school was to make varsity by my junior year. The only way that I was going to achieve was by improving my basketball skills. I could chosen to workout at home but I decided to every day for the first two month go everyday and work out at the workout room in my school. Being in the work out room which the majority of times I was the only girl made me feel awkward. But that did not stop me from my goal. In there I learn that people can help you out because the gym teachers which were in charge of the gym help me out on some ways that my workout can help. The football team came three times a week I would work out with them and then go shoot some shot. By the next year of try out I was grate because I made varsity and I learn some trick that would help the new player and that would help the team.
Gnu 2 / 7  
Oct 19, 2010   #2
In my native country I started playing basketball in first grade. Since I was a little girl I have always love the competition and camaraderie. So when I came to Abbot Tech I found myself a chance to become a member of the girls' basketball team. At the end of my sophomore year of high school, I aspired to make varsity by my junior year. The only way that I was going to achieve this was by improving my basketball skills. I could have chosen to workout at home but I decided to every day for the first two months t o go everyday and work out at the workout room in my school. Being the only girl in the workout room made me feel awkward. But that did not stop me. In there I learn that people can help you out because the gym teachers which were in charge of the gym help me out on some ways that my workout can help. The football team came three times a week I would work out with them and then go shoot some shot. By the next year of try out I was grate because I made varsity and I learn some trick that would help the new player and that would help the team.

Sorry, but the last three sentences are a mess...

Nice essay, just fix some errors, and clean up sentences.
OP jcoraizaca 1 / 1  
Oct 20, 2010   #3
thank you some much dont worry from here 2 other teacher would check befor i send thank anyways
EF_Kevin 8 / 13,321 129  
Oct 23, 2010   #4
Hi Jacqueline, I see that Gnu made an excellent revision and corrected all your sentences.
I hope you practice the sentences one-at-a-time and type each on the correct way over and over again.

I have another idea for this one:
But that did not stop me.
or
But that did not stop me from achieving my goal.

For every sentence, practice typing it several times.

Like this:
In my native country I started playing basketball in first grade.
In my native country I started playing basketball in first grade.
In my native country I started playing basketball in first grade.

Type it over and over, and you will learn the correct patterns.

:-)


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