Undergraduate / Dear Father; We were happy but most importantly, we were together! [7]

First of all, I am not a brilliant writer. Essays are not a joy for me to write, but I do hope that I did this essay some justice because all of its components are very true and difficult for me to express, even on paper. PLEASE BEAR WITH ME.

I don't know which topic this essay belongs to or if it even belongs to a particular topic. I wrote this for a possible college essay and to also help me release some stress and knots in my mind. I neither proofread nor did I eliminate the contractions so I apologize in advance. I would just like to hear some of your thoughts.

I'm afraid this essay seems more like a narrative than an essay, anyway....

We were happy but most importantly, we were together. What changed? I still continue to ask myself that because unfortunately, I have not found the answer and not finding it is currently my biggest fear.

This summer was different than the other summers I've had all my life. A tragic fate beheld me and it is a constant nightmare that to this day, still has not parted me. I had convinced myself repeatedly that I was crazy and delusional; that I was seeing and hearing things that are truly not there; that everything that was going on was solely a figment of my imagination. To my misfortune, I soon snapped myself out of my feigned conjectures which truthfully was a means of escape, a dismissal from the truth. The truth. I discovered infidelity in my household. What hurts more is that it was my father, whom I admit was the parent I was closer to than my mother.

When I first found out, I kept my mouth shut because the truth was too unbearable. I was crushed into pieces and the person who usually picks them up was the one who caused them to shatter. In turn, I was alone and I could feel myself slowly breaking down. I could not keep up with the countless nights that I spent awake in my dark, cold room feeling helpless and perplexed by what should be done or how this should be handled. Tears endlessly streamed down my face and I was not certain how it was possible to cry so excessively. I was bearing an impossible weight on my shoulders and I felt that at any moment, I could collapse and I would not be able to get back up.

Three weeks. It took three weeks for something to happen, and I did not even make it happen. It was an accident. I was in the dining room sitting silently with my mom while she organized her paperwork. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, I broke into a bellow and my mom was hysterical. She thought that she had done something wrong and demanded that I tell her what is happening to me. I didn't speak for I was afraid of what to say. I couldn't speak. She was very worried, so she got up from her chair and speedily searched for my dad around the house to gather some insight on what I was crying about. Disappointment and more pain struck me when my dad scoffed at my hysteria. He called me crazy, and at that moment, I felt him relinquishing all his love and care for me. The daughter who viewed her father as the most important person in her life ended up tearing her apart and breaking her heart.

He will always be my father, no matter how much he has hurt me. I admit that there are times where I wanted to throw a fit at him just to show him how furious I was for what he did to his family, but I cannot find the will to do just that. My dad did me, my brother, and my mother wrong, but I never lose hope that he will find his way again, and I want to be ready to accept him for when that time comes. I do not wish to let my pain and anger take over me. I do not want to be swallowed by my fear and anxieties. Instead, I intend to do the opposite. Just because I went through a difficult time does not mean I get to throw away my dreams and my goals. It is my senior year and I'm prepared to work harder than I've ever had to before. This goes to show that I will not let this problem push me off the cliff. This situation was only a test of my strength. Yes, I am torn apart and broken but I was not raised a coward. I am going to fight. Dad, this is for you.

TOPICS: (do they belong to any of these?)
1) There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

2) Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

3) Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you.

4) Describe an event, a person or an educational experience that has had a major impact on your life and why

NOTE: "Impact" does not necessarily have to be "awe-inspiring" and come from a positive experience right? Because my essay is not at all like that.

Undergraduate / "Had my father not cheated on my mom" -UT - someone who has made an impact on my life [5]

TOPIC: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you

I close my eyes and think briefly how it was possible that even when things seem to all go in the opposite direction, there is still that one person that leaves me feeling safe and secure. Then, I open my eyes in an instant and stopped wondering. I lost the purpose of needing to be curious about the reasons behind such matters and decided to simply cherish the moment and to be appreciative that I have a mother who rises above every hardship for my sake and happiness.

My mom loved me, my dad and my brother more than anything, and it was evident that she would rather be inflicted with pain than to see us hurting. It was clearly evident in my eyes, but in spite of that, I ignored all of her hard work and. I never gave my mom a chance, never entirely appreciated her until my family went through a really rough crisis, but I am greatly pleased that it is not too late to show her how much I love and appreciate her.

Recently in the summer before my senior year, I found out about my Dad's affair. The news broke us all; My mom, even my brother who I'd thought was too young to know about this, and I were all hurt and the feeling of being cheated on to another family was an indescribable torture. Then, life became a blur, and I anticipate tomorrow with fear and anxiety. It felt like my dad's infidelity created this wave of unpredictability in our family affairs. My dad became untrustworthy. We looked at him with even more enmity as he would purposefully disregard his job and skip it most days, so in turn, my mom had pile up her hours for work just so we can pay the bills. Even with the weighty hardship she is bearing, she did not make my brother and I feel one bit uneasy and still continued to make us feel happy in ever moment of that summer. She tries so determinately to enclose my brother and I away from our dad's conflict so that we were left with no worries. My love and appreciation for my mom emerged as I see that even though she is dealing with the heaviest burden in her life, she keeps her head up and fights for the sake of her children.

As the heavy, burdensome months flew by, my mom looked older in spirit and terrifyingly emaciated from all the stress. Sometimes, I would cry all alone at night and pray to God to liven up my mom again. Even though in the beginning, I never looked or cared twice for her well-being, now all I ever want is to see a person in her again; She may be present, but her spirit is absent. The pain has been eating her alive that she is almost invisible and lifeless. Her life has consisted of working from 11 to 8 and 8 to 5 the next day. She is lucky enough to fit 5 hours of sleep every night in her busy schedule and her thin figure stems from having no appetite almost all of the time. Ever since my mom found out about my dad's infidelity, she changed emotionally and physically. The pain in her heart and the weakness in her eyes were visible to my eye but nonetheless, she puts up a brave front in front of me and my brother, but when she is alone, I hear her cry.

She tells me, "I don't want you and your brother to worry about anything. Worry about yourselves only; Worry about school." I was furious when her mouth spoke these words. I was angry at the thought of how much she is sacrificing for us; how in the midst of all the craziness going on, my brother and I still remain as her first priority.

For the first time, I saw that she may look weak in appearance, but her heart and soul is as big and strong as it has ever been. Had my father not cheated on my mom, I do not think I would ever see clearly my mother's sacrifices for me and love her deservingly. It is embarrassing to admit the necessity of a bad experience to bring me to this type of realization, but unfortunately, it is the truth. Regardless, my brother and I are the source of her strength, and for all those times I stood carefree of her kind actions towards me I make up for by being the best daughter I can be. I could tell that by that simple gesture, she is wholly contented.

Sob story? I hope not. My purpose for writing about this particular story is to show that I have recently dealt with a difficult crisis, and in the midst of it all, I have good people around me to help me keep my head up. It also brings recognition of my love for my mother; She gives me hope.

I am not a big grammar, vocabulary person so I apologize in advance for my incompetence ):

Any comments would be helpful and appreciated (: