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Posts by briana31
Joined: Oct 17, 2010
Last Post: Oct 17, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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briana31   
Oct 17, 2010
Undergraduate / "Do you think there are those whose contributions aren't recognized" -UMD Essay [4]

That is a great essay you just have a few minor problems.
Conditioning was extremely gruesome and exhausting as we completed several offensive and defensedefensive drills for hours.

The chief goal-scorer had beengot injured, and was taken off the field.

"Behind a leader there must be followers, but they should always be on the lookout for the main chance and ready to change sides if the current leader doesn't deliver."
briana31   
Oct 17, 2010
Undergraduate / childhood hero- decribe an influential fictional character and said influence [3]

That was a very creative essay, it was enjoyable. Their were a few confusing parts in it.
Tommy Pickles, the protagonist of the cartoon series "Rugrats," is thatthe influential figure in my life.

Is this supposed to say heaven??:Whenever Tommy and his friends are stuck in their playpen, Tommy has the key to unlock it and dive into the magical haven .

Did you mean overwhelm??:Rather than taking high school as a time in which we can individualize ourselves, we are overcome with the desire to be like each other: to conform.
briana31   
Oct 17, 2010
Scholarship / "to be remember by many people" - Leadership Scholarship Essay [3]

Hi I have to write a 500 word essay. I decided to do something a little different to make my essay stand out more. So any comments or suggestions are helpful and feel free to criticize.

What are the most important qualities a leader must have in today's society? And why?

A leader has to be someone who is independent and someone who can take charge of any situation. Being a leader is a very important quality that I believe every student wanting to go to college must have. When people think of a leader they generally think of someone who is reliable, honest, trustworthy, and dedicated. Although all of these qualities are true in a leader, you must also be alive. People such as Martin Luther King Jr., Abraham Lincoln, Gandhi, and Rosa Parks are all leaders. Even though they are dead, their leadership remained alive. Martin Luther King Jr. fought for the rights of African Americans so that one day African Americans and whites would be created equal, Because of his honor, courage, and leadership African Americans have the same rights as white people. Abraham Lincoln showed leadership when he freed the slaves, which was one of the central issues in American history. Gandhi showed leadership when he helped India gain independence. He also inspired the movements of civil rights and freedom across the world. Rosa Parks showed leadership by refusing to give up her seat to a white man. All of these leaders showed great leadership through their pride, courage, and honor and because they did so they are known in history and will forever be known. Even though they are dead it's their works and leadership that has continued to remain alive.

People like Barrack Obama, Condoleezza Rice, and Mae Jemison are also leaders. Even though they are not dead, they have made a difference in this world because of their great leadership. Barrack Obama is a leader because he made a big step when he ran for president of the United States and because he did, and won, he is known as the first African American president of the United States. When Obama does die, he will still be remembered as the first African American president. Condoleezza Rice is a leader because she is the fist African American female to be Secretary of State. Mae Jemison also showed leadership by being the first African American female in space. Although these people are alive, they have made such a big impact on society that they will always be remembered even after they die.

In today's society if you are willing to make a difference in many peoples lives or in the world, you will also be remember by many people. This is something I want to do. I want to make such a big impact on the world that someday, even if it's when I'm dead, my name will forever be remembered.
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