Undergraduate / About working in partnership with others--Kenyon supplement essay [3]

Hey, guys. This is the topic of the Kenyon supplement essay:
Describe an experience when you worked in partnership with others to achieve something you could not have done alone.
And below is my essay. Please feel free to say anything about it. I'd really appreciate your help.

The air was freezing. After glancing at the whole auditorium, which was filled with more than 200 teachers and students, my hands sweated worse.

Here came the most exciting round of the debate-the free debate. In this round, leading roles are the second and the third debater whose job was to lauch intense bombardment on our opponents. At first, things went pretty well. But a few minutes later, my teammate sitting next to me was attacked by our opponents for she had an obvious loophole in her previous statement. She got a little agitated and wanted to fight back. Being the captain of the school debate team, I was supposed to control the situation when my teammates got unstable. So I gently patted her on shoulder, telling her not to panic but calm down. She was appeased. Then I stood up to help defend her point and counteract my opponent. In fact, that was what I and the fouth debater did in this round--to complement our arguments and make them water-tight with the statistics, examples that we had been collecting for weeks. Since our speed and tone of speaking varied, our speeches sounded perfectly cadent.

20 minutes slipped away fast. Luckily, our opponents used up their time before us, and we got one more minute to keep delivering our speeches. Each of my teammates made the final statement in order, then it was my turn. Only six seconds left. I grabbed the microphone and uttered a few resounding words "So internet addiction is an individual issue rather than a social issue."to restate our position and perfect our performance. The alarm of the countdown rhymed with the end of my voice. I sat down and lost breath. As astounding as it was, the audience bursted into applause.

We finally won the competition. Although I was not the "main force" of the team, our division of labor and cooperation helped me realize my own value. I learned that you don't necessarily need to be the main force in a team. Leading the team and controling the situations can also attribute to your group.

Undergraduate / "The unconscious" 300 words--My Kenyon supplement essay [5]

Hey, everyone. Could you please read my supplement and give me any suggestions? I'd really appreciate your help. Thank you so much.
Here's the topic:
Neuroscientists have recently discovered the part of the brain most active in decision-making. What human trait would you most want to understand and what makes it significant to you?

(I've asked a psychologist if it's ok to write about the unconscious, he said it's fine.)

The human trait that I'd like to understand most is the unconscious

When the unconscious started
In my childhood, my father was an alcoholic. And after he got drunk, he would conduct brutal deeds to my mom who was devastated both mentally and physically. I had long been exposed to family violence. Even though they finally divorced, the experience still has a great impact on me. I only learned from Freud that childhood memories can be suppressed into the unconscious, but I need to figure out the subtle relationship between the past and the present. So besides sharpening my sensitivity for human minds and incenting my sympathy for the weak and minority, I will strive to know what else the unconscious gave me.

The unconscious helps me
Inevitably, I emerged some symptoms of mental disorders as I grew up. I sought help from shrinks in China, but the poor development of psychology in China couldn't effectively fight the diseases. Thus, in addition to finding the solution by myself, I decided to go to America and receive the most advanced education. The unconscious is always considered a key to tackling the mental problems and saving people. If I could gain more knowledge about it, I would bring out the greater potential in me and seize more opportunities to achieve success.

The unconscious saves people
With the knowledge of the unconscious, idealistic as it may sound, I could reach deep down inside people's mind and delete the negative information stuck there, which is the cause of sorrows and pains. So everyone can thrust the chest forward when facing life without being obstructed by their weaknesses. Moreover, delving into the study of collective unconscious will help fix social problems, maintain social balance and make the world a better place.

This is what the unconscious means to me and to the people I'll save.