Writing Feedback / Responsibility for the products safety: CLEP English composition practice essay [3]

I'm glad I found this forum. I'm hoping I can get some good feedback before I take the the CLEP english composition test. Thanks in advance! - Leah

PRODUCT SAFETY ESSAY

prompt: Every year consumers are injured using products (food, cosmetics, appliances) that seem to be safe but aren't. Who should be responsible for making sure that products are safe to use: the consumer, the producer, the government, or someone else? Discuss providing support for your view.

Consumer concerns regarding the safety of products they purchase and use is a very hot topic. Whether or not the industry, government, or consumers, should bear the brunt of the responsibility when determining the safety of products is a complicated and multifaceted discussion. Companies often spend large sums of money on developing and marketing their wares and should not be let off the hook when it comes to allocating an appropriate amount of money to testing of product safety. Governmental organizations should serve as a watch dog and enforcer of regulations not as a sole resource for determining whether or not a product meet established guidelines or is adequately tested. The consumer is an incidental watch dog and bears some responsibility and should be aware that companies cannot realistically test a products performance under every conceivable condition. Individuals must use common sense but should have a reasonable amount of confidence that their purchases will perform as expected and will do so safely.

A recent recall of a popular infant carrier is a prime example of a failure of the current system used to determine product safety. It seems clear that the makers of The Baby Bag type sling carrier were neglectful in determining the safety of the product before it was marketed. Any pediatric nurse could have noted the potential for suffocation of an infant in the carrier due to improper positioning. The company obviously neglected to consult with appropriate child development professionals during the product development phase. Unfortunately, the infant carrier resulted in a number of deaths.

Societies increasing dependency on others to make decisions for them and focus away from personal responsibility and increasing trust in perceived authority, has crippled parents ability to make wise choices for their children. This is an unfortunate consequence of our increasingly complex society and a problem that needs to be addressed with a wide range of solutions. Realistic solutions should be the focus of these efforts. For instance, educating each individual parent on the physical aspects of positional suffocation in infants is not likely to be a solution that is applicable or likely to instigate substantial change in real world situations. However, enacting legislation that will insure that companies are held responsible for the safety of their products is likely to have far reaching positive results.

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Sorry. I forgot the instructions with the prompt!

Plan and write an essay in which you develop your position on this issue. Support your point of view with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.

Any help is appreciated. Even just a "this is adequate/inadequate" for the CLEP. I know that I could develop this essay much more but I only have 35 minutes so I left it as it was when my time was up. Which is killing me by the way:)!

Writing Feedback / Internet censorship + Mandatory college curriculum - essays for CLEP english comp [2]

I don't want to schedule the CLEP exam until I am reasonably sure that I will pass. I do okay on the multiple choice practice and I would like to know if my essay portion is likely to be adequate or if I need to practice more. I know that no one can say for sure but I need to know if I am anywhere near the ball park! Thanks in advance! - Leah

Background:
For more than a decade, people have grappled with the problem of censoring material that is posted on the Internet. Those in favor of censoring the Internet argue that people (especially children) must be protected against fraud, objectionable material, and hate speech. People opposed to censoring the Internet argue that we have the right to free speech. They also argue that censorship will prevent businesses from operating freely.

Assignment:

Read the following sources several times to make sure that you understand them completely. Then write an essay in which you argue that the Internet should or should not be censored. Be sure to include material from both original sources in your argument.

Sources: The following passage comes from the First Amendment to the US Constitution:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

My completed (or as far as got) essay. 40 minutes

Censorship pertaining to the internet is an extremely volatile topic. When defining the term "censor", care should be taken to use its official definition and not be persuaded or manipulated by the negative connotations that American society typically has regarding the term. Even the "anti-censorship" advocates unwittingly censor themselves everyday by choosing words and actions that help them fit into society and get along with others. The law has recognized the necessity of such censorship in 1942 with the case of chaplinsky v. New Hampshire. In summary, the ruling stated that communications that are likely to be disruptive, inflammatory and of little value are not protected by the First Amendment. This expectation is not intended to prevent people from expressing their views, but rather to coerce individuals to interact peaceably. The same should be expected in all forms of communication, including that which takes place in cyberspace.

Some reasonable amount of censorship should also be maintained to prevent those individuals that may be most vulnerable from being taken advantage of. This vulnerable segment of the population can include children, those with developmental problems and the elderly, as well as those that have a limited understanding of particular subjects that have great potential for harm such as pharmaceuticals. Most people agree that children need to be protected from exposure to violence and illicit material, but there is more debate about whether the advertisement of prescription drugs is something that needs to be regulated.

In 1976, the supreme court struck down a ban on the advertisement of prescription drugs. (Virginia Pharmacy Board vs. Virginia Citizens consumer Council) The underlying factors that could have influenced that ruling are cause for speculation on the part of some conspiracy prone citizens, and there can certainly be no denying the financial power of pharmaceutical companies or their ability to use that financial power to tilt the scales in their favor on many issues. What the courts may have failed to acknowledge is that few laypeople are able to understand the possible side affects of many prescription drugs, particular psychoactive medications. Furthermore, many individuals that are in possible need of these drugs are in a particularly emotional and vulnerable state that could possibly make them easier to manipulate and coerce then the rest of the population. Pictures of smiling attractive hired actors inevitably overshadow the fine print and cautions at the end of an ad. Internet ads are often directed at consumers who have an increased likelihood of wanting them because technology now allows for targeting particular ads to users that have done searches using key words. This has the potential to cause even more harm then typical television or magazine ads. For example, someone who types in "depression" on a search engine is likely to get bombarded with feel good ads for prescription drugs that are used to treat depression, ads that might coerce someone to take medication who would otherwise cope without, needlessly exposing them to the myriad of known and unknown side affects associated with psychiatric drugs. Censorship of the internet, including restricting prescription drug advertising, is prudent in our modern world where information, misinformation and malicious individuals as well as profit motivated companies are just a few key strokes away.

Essay 2

Colleges need to have mandatory core curriculum required classes that all students must take regardless of their major.

30 minutes. Develop a point of view

Some colleges have entertained the idea of mandatory core curriculum classes for all students no matter what their major is. This doesn't reflect the need for education to be tailored and flexible to insure that students educations are financially efficient and applicable to their chosen field. Requiring students to take courses that have little likelihood of benefiting their careers is insensitive to the financial stresses that are placed on students and families.

Each dollar spent on education must be carefully weighed against its potential benefit regarding the future. We wouldn't ask a Business major to take anatomy and we shouldn't expect a nurse to be a calculus whiz. Whether or not a particular core subject is beneficial is more of a grey area because everyone benefits from having a reasonably well rounded education, but the principles are the same and schools should evaluate the requirements based on those principles when making mandatory curriculums.

Core curriculum requirements should center around a well rounded education that is tailored to specific career choices. Sociology and psychology are both often considered core classes and are likely to benefit the careers of those going into the health profession. While a solid foundation in math, such as algebra, should be considered a core curriculum choice for individuals seeking a degree that is likely to land them in a job as an architect.

What does or does not constitute a core subject it too debatable to be mandated and the requirements for education need to remain malleable in order to reflect our changing world and workforce. Globalization has changed the workforce forever. A deeper understanding of other cultures, such as might be achieved by a taking a class in sociology, might benefit someone with a particular career who would have found it useless just a decade ago.