Undergraduate / Expressing my inner world -My Kitchen- UNC Chapel Hill Prompt [5]

I think you answered the prompt very creatively and you gave yourself a voice, which is fantastic.

However, you should consider cutting some of the descriptions (I hate this part of college essays, cause that's what I love about writing) and putting more into your final description of how it's the "lab of experiment" of your life. It'll leave the reader more satisfied and understanding.

Undergraduate / "Curiosity Didn't Kill Me" - Critique on Common App Essay [6]

I actually love it.
I think it's great because I have absolute NO interest in computers/what you do, yet you have still managed to capture and hold my attention. The analogy/anecdote is great, and you don't let it get too carried away and you still give yourself time to wrap up/explain yourself.

Undergraduate / Peddlers, Smell, Way, Indian beliefs, Growth - Personal Statement about Culture [4]

It's fantastic, I'm truly jealous. I actually think your paragraphs have a particular structure that flows really well with your story.

Undergraduate / "I like the study of anything related to business" (Dear Roommate) -Babson Supplement [5]

I think you hit all of the points of why you want to go there and what you want to do there but honestly, make it a little more creative.

It's supposed to be to your roommate, which is kind of giving you the freedom to be a bit more casual in your writing, and insert some creative tidbits. It'll give you more of a distinctive voice and it'll flow better because it seems almost too formalized.

Undergraduate / "career as a journalist" - Northwestern Supplement [5]

Thank you! I definitely see what you're saying. Unfortunately I had to send this thing pronto and this is what my end product ended up being:

If I envision my life in ten years, I imagine enjoying a fulfilling career, independence, and love-the elements that mark the quintessence of human happiness. However, I also hope to look back upon four, exceptionally enriching years of college.

When I visualize myself flaunting the royal purple of the Northwestern Wildcats, unleashing my stress during the traditional' Primal Scream', getting my groove on with the Happiness Club, or taking Professor Weil's famous Russian literature course, I feel purely eased and delighted. Perhaps even too excited, as I still have seven remaining months of high school work, friends, laughter, and tests before I could have the honor of strutting across the beautiful Northwestern campus in my puffy coat as a student.

Aside from the hundreds of lasting memories I hope to make in college, I highly value the education I will receive and how it shall serve me as I stride into adult work-shoes. Knowing Northwestern University would provide me with a fundamentally dynamic education, I particularly believe the Medill School of Journalism proffers a plethora of journalistic opportunities that I simply cannot find in my home state, Colorado.

More recently than ever I hear and read incessant comments, articles, and events signifying a demise of journalism. I offer a stubborn correction-journalism is not dead, it is changing.

Change is inevitable just as it is imperative, and as new innovations surface within the media, the journalism industry must jump aboard. I firmly believe a Medill degree would equip me with the skills to navigate the waters of new journalism. As journalism forms a new mold in society and media, it poses many intimidating risks with the potential of rock-bottom failures or triumphal success. I am willing to take this risk, as the outlook of journalism would seem much less vexing with a Medill degree at my side. Understanding that Medill would not only give me a sharp advantage in the market and post-grad job hunt, but also an extensive network of mentors and community of friends to serve as a backbone in my career and life.

I am also prepared to have my world rocked, as I expect satisfying a yearbook deadline is incomparable to what I would expect at Medill and in a career as a journalist. However, my aspirations are clear and enthusiastic-I wish to be an educated and cognizant citizen and walk in the footsteps (and eventually form my own) of the great journalists before me. A journalist can change the world with just one story, as reading Eve Ensler's recent Glamour article about "femicide" and rape in the Congo reformatted my opinion of the influence of journalism. Without warning, tears streamed down my face, and chills stunned my body as I read of the ineffable horrors women face in Africa. If I could crack these stories, give the silent a bold voice, and apply my journalism skills to catalyze a change, then I would declare my job more than complete on this planet. A Medill degree would be the proud foundation of my career and skills, especially if by the age of 21 I would have received a seemingly unattainable opportunity of interning at a magazine such as Glamour, Runners World, Good Magazine, etc. and retrieved the resources of Chicago that were in view by my dorm window.

My dream is to help ordinary people understand the world, tell compelling stories, and to find my voice while giving it to others, and I believe it all starts at Medill.