ahhbeee
Nov 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "a recipe for success" - Why Duke? [3]
Your essay is very well-written; however, I feel as though you are expressing "wants" too much rather than explaining in full detail as to "why" you feel this way. Besides valuing education and social interactions, what else is there that makes Duke so special. For example, what programs are you especially interested in? (That's usually the case. Explain in full detail.) Don't just talk about the universities' obvious aspects. I suggest you pick a more specific quality about the school in which you can express more on. Notice that the prompt mentions "College Arts and Sciences," perhaps you should talk about that? It also does say "particular". If I were an applicant reader, I would already know you didn't do enough research on the school.
You can basically change a few words around in this essay and it would work just as great for another school. For example, Duke to UCLA; blues and white to blue and gold. What I'm trying to say is that this essay is a bit too generic. You should fix it up a little more.
"...I am perfectly happy limiting the next four years of my life at Duke University."
Remember you are applying the university. You are not an actual student. Perhaps "will" would be a better substitute. Limiting sounds a little quizzical; replace the word with "spending".
Your essay is very well-written; however, I feel as though you are expressing "wants" too much rather than explaining in full detail as to "why" you feel this way. Besides valuing education and social interactions, what else is there that makes Duke so special. For example, what programs are you especially interested in? (That's usually the case. Explain in full detail.) Don't just talk about the universities' obvious aspects. I suggest you pick a more specific quality about the school in which you can express more on. Notice that the prompt mentions "College Arts and Sciences," perhaps you should talk about that? It also does say "particular". If I were an applicant reader, I would already know you didn't do enough research on the school.
You can basically change a few words around in this essay and it would work just as great for another school. For example, Duke to UCLA; blues and white to blue and gold. What I'm trying to say is that this essay is a bit too generic. You should fix it up a little more.
"...I am perfectly happy limiting the next four years of my life at Duke University."
Remember you are applying the university. You are not an actual student. Perhaps "will" would be a better substitute. Limiting sounds a little quizzical; replace the word with "spending".