Undergraduate / "the biological side of science" - UBC supplemental application prompt 1 [3]

What qualities do you have that would make you successful in the Bachelor of Science?
Please read my essay and any advice on improving it is appreciated :D

"Since the first time I started learning the subject "science", I have been fascinated by it and throughout the years my curiosity in that regard has only deepened. The Life Sciences, namely the biological side of science had particularly gripped me. What is life? How does it work? The answers to these questions lay within biology.

I am generally well motivated and a good team player with the ability to get on well with people. I try giving it my all in any endeavor that I undertake. I love to volunteer for any event, such as when an intra-school debate competition was held at my school. I have helped organize many food sales, to raise money for charity at my school as well during my years in the community service club. Through volunteering, I have gained greater decision-making, team-work and communication skills.

I harbor a passion for the workings of life and my curiosity about it is undying. My passion gives rise to my willingness to learn and determination to succeed will make me successful in the Bachelor of Science program. In the future I plan to pursue a career in medical Biochemistry, where I hope to be a part of new innovations and nurture my love for the subject."

Undergraduate / Magnificent and intricate structure of a cell [3]

UBC supplemental application prompt 2
Describe and evaluate one experience that significantly influenced your academic goals.
Sorry for putting this in a reply, i wrote this after i posted the above one >< any advice on both these essays will be greatly appreciated

When I first gazed through the eyepiece lens of a microscope to observe simple cells taken from my very own cheek, I was simply amazed. How could such minute structures be the functional units of life? At that moment my love for the biological side of science was born. As the years passed I learned more and more, and then I came upon the DNA. Possessing the instructions for making a complete organism, from bacteria to us humans, DNA was the blueprint of life. My appreciation for the wonders of life keeps increasing every day, and I hope to somehow improve life, participate in medicinal research or help to unlock more about the mysteries of life.

From the day I first discovered the magnificent and intricate structure of a cell, I have been gripped with curiosity about the workings of life. I dream to one day be a part of research involving biochemistry, or even discover something new myself. Being given the chance to be accepted into the Bachelor of Science program, I will be one step closer to obtaining my dream.