Undergraduate / "God puts people in our lives for a reason" - LMU SUPPLEMENT [3]

HI! :) I am applying to Loyola Marymount University and I was hoping you could give me some feedback on my essay. Corrections and comments are welcome.

STATEMENT 1: At a recent Commencement Mass, LMU's former President, Fr. Robert Lawton, S.J. said: ''so what is the answer to this deep insecurity we all feel? The answer, I think, is to embrace the adventure of becoming deeply, and fully, ourselves. This is what God is really calling us to. It seems like the riskiest of all journeys, this journey to be one self. But it's ultimately the journey that leads us to happiness, that leads us into God's dreams for us.''

QUESTION 1: Why do you think Fr. Lawton says the ''journey to be oneself'' seems the riskiest of all journeys? What risks lie ahead as you embark on your college career, and the ''adventure'' of discovering and becoming yourself?

I have always tried to conceptualize my future. Doing this has given me the chance to imagine what I want my life to be. Of course, with time, the way I picture my future has changed. I used to see myself as a princess, and a famous rock star, and so many other wonderful things. I also used to think about all the hard decisions that would come along with life. The possibilities were and still are endless. You always have to take into consideration personal problems and special circumstances. These circumstances will always have an effect on the decisions that I, or anyone will ever make. God gives everyone the opportunity to make decisions. Sometimes these decisions are simple, like what kind of toaster should I buy. Sometimes these decisions are more complicated, for example, choosing a career. These decisions help make us the people we are meant to become. They make you weaker or they make you stronger. God puts these decisions in front of us for a reason. But how do we know which is the right decision, or the bad one? I believe that even making the wrong decision does not mean we are horrible people. We are just making the pathway to finding out who we are, a little more complicated. When unsure about a decision, one must take the leap of faith that God will help them choose the right decision.

God puts people in our lives for a reason. The people who are meant to have an impact on my life will influence me and help me make decisions. The people you meet and who have an influence on you, could lead you toward the correct decision, or they might veer you off your path. Whatever the result, even if it is just for a moment, you are happy with the choice that you made because it gives you the opportunity to continue searching for the person that you truly are.

Christopher Columbus ventured off on his ships to try and find a way to China that would make trade easier. In the end, he discovered a completely new world that brought forth wonders to the world and eventually become an amazing nation. I think this correlates with important decisions people make. You can make a decision, that you think will help you find yourself, and end somewhere completely different. Who knows maybe it was where you were meant to be in the first place.

Soon, I will be embarking on a new journey. College. It is a scary but exciting concept. In a couple of months, I have to make the decision about where I will attend. This is not a decision that can be taken lightly. College will surely be an adventure. I will be an adult and be held responsible for my actions. I will be exposed to new temptations, like partying all night, not studying, and not taking care of myself, but my parents will not be there to hold my hand. My parents instilled in me many good values that help making decisions a lot easier.

Discovering who I am will not be an easy task. It will be filled with obstacles and temptations, and the decisions I make will have an impact on me whether it be good or bad. As I think about the person I was, and how high school changed me and taught me new things, I am happy with who I am and the decisions I have made. Excitement runs through me as I reflect on who I used to be, who I am now, and who I might someday become. It is comforting to know that at the end of every decision, good or bad, I will be me. God gives me the opportunity to find myself every day. Even though it may seem terrifying, my plan is to go through my journey, and become a person who is successful and content.

Undergraduate / small campus + Harry Potter + a curious person/dance/music - Occidental [4]

2. There are thousands of colleges and universities. Why are you applying to Occidental? What distinguishes it from your other choices?

2. An important aspect of Occidental that appeals to me is its small campus environment. I feel that with this type of atmosphere will help me receive the attention I need to excel in my education. Since Oxy is a small school, I like the sense of community that comes along with it. I want to build relationships not only with my classmates but also with my professors, because I don't want to be a passing face or the girl in the third row. I feel that attending a small liberal school will teach me skills that will help me in my career. Another aspect that lures me to Occidental is its location. It is in southern California, and that means diversity which is something that is very important to me. I like meeting people who come from different cultures and places because I get the opportunity to learn something new. I also like that Oxy is near Los Angeles, my home, without being caught in the hustle and bustle of the city. (938/2000 characters)

3. Choose a book you have read in the last year that most affected you and clarify its effect.

3. In the last year, the Harry Potter franchise has been slowly winding down. Being a fan since childhood, I am both excited and upset by this. I decided to reread the last book in the series, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, again. I remember as a child, I always thought the books were amazing simply because of the magic that the books entailed. When I reread the book, I was able to see things from a different perspective. The bravery and courage that the characters possess is truly inspiring. They leave behind everything, their families and their personal safety to fight evil for the good of the wizard world. This made me reflect on people, like policemen and firemen, who do this every day. In my English class, we learned how to look at the true meaning of stories and poetry. Knowing this, I thought long and hard about the purpose of the books. Then I stumbled upon a quote by Andrew Futral, a musician, who compared Harry Potter and the popular series, Twilight. I agreed with his view on the comparison of the books. "Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." I may not be trying to save the world from evil forces, but what I have learned from Harry Potter is that if you believe in yourself, you will fulfill your destiny and accomplish great things. (1409/1500 characters)

4. While we realize your interests may change in college, what are your current academic or intellectual curiosities?

4. I have always been a curious person. I always like to learn about different new things. I have realized that when I learn something new, I tend to obsess about it. I obsess about different places in the world and their distinct cultures. Some of the places I have been interested in include England, Canada, India, and Italy to name a few. I read about the places, the way people live, its music, and I am always fascinated by the fact that there is another way of life that is completely different from mine. Also, since I was little girl, my parents made me take a variety of dance classes. I did tap, ballet, hip-hop and jazz. These are considered the basic forms of dance in the US, but I went further. I was always very eager to learn different forms of dance. Thanks to me persistence, I also took belly dancing, Korean fan dancing, folklorico, and some Irish dancing. Learning the traditional dances of other countries was an amazing way to learn about different cultures. Another thing that intrigues me is people and their minds. Why do people act the way they do? This question has always perplexed me. I think about why people respond to situations differently. I try to imagine what goes on through people's heads when they make an important decision. This is the main reason I am interested in psychology. I want to know what makes people tick. (1361/2000 characters)