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Posts by moretolearn
Joined: Dec 20, 2010
Last Post: Dec 22, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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moretolearn   
Dec 20, 2010
Undergraduate / "figure skating mistakes" - Common app extracurricular essay [5]

Can someone please proofread my essay? The prompt is to expound on one your extracurricular activities (150 words max) - any and all criticism is welcome! Also, would using this response make me seem like a weak applicant? -Thanks!

Making mistakes is a part of figure skating. A part of life. Before I started figure skating, almost everytime I made a mistake, whether it be in sports or in school, I would let it bog myself down. But during a lesson with my coach, she ...

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moretolearn   
Dec 21, 2010
Undergraduate / "figure skating mistakes" - Common app extracurricular essay [5]

Making mistakes is a part of figure skating. A part of life. Before I started figure skating, almost everytime I made a mistake, whether it be in sports or in school, I would let it bog me down. But during a lesson with my coach, she told me, "If you mess up, keep your chin up and keep going." Since then, that piece of advice has helped changed my views on making mistakes. Now, when I make a mistake, I try not to let it discourage me but treat it as a learning experience to see where I can improve in the area where I made that blunder. Although no one likes to mess up, what figure skating has taught me is to learn from mistakes and to keep going.
moretolearn   
Dec 22, 2010
Undergraduate / "Able to learn in and out of the classroom" - Penn supplement [4]

May someone please proofread my essay. The prompt is "considering both the specific undergraduate school or program to which you are applying and the broader university of pennsylvania

community, what academic, research, and/or extracurricular paths do you see yourself exploring at penn?" Any and all criticism is welcome! Thank you!!

One of the reasons why I love Penn is because one can learn so mych in and out of the classroom. A student at Penn is not confined to the program or school that he or she is incolved in but can also choose to follow old passions or explore new interests. If given an opportunity to attend Penn, I look forward to restarting violin lessons, volunteering at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, and traveling abroad.

I have always had a love for the violink. What playing the violin, or music in general, does for me is that it helps keep my scientifically- inclined mind from becoming too pragmatic. It helps balance my mind. I used to take violin lessons but painfully had to stop because of the time that my involvement in sports took. Now, being done with high school sports, I will have more time to pursue my love for the violin by taking music lesson given by the Blutt College House Music Program.

Attending Penn would be a great privilege. And while at Penn, I seek to not have just a "what can I gain from Penn" but also a "what can I give to Penn and its community" mindset. What first attracted my attention to Penn was its association to the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania, one of the top hospitals in the nation. One day, I hope to become a physician and by volunteering at the University of Pennsylvania Hospital, I will not only gain valuable insight and experience in the medical field by also get to help people in need.

The Penn Abroad program will allow me to fuse two of my favorite things: learning and traveling. As mentioned earlier, learning at Penn does not only have to happen in a classroom but can also happen outside of it too, like in a different country. Where Penn Abroad will take me, I do not know; however, this is one program that I cannot resist to take part in.

What I love about Penn is its lively atmosphere for learning, The actvities that I look forward to being a part of will only enrich to what I am learning in the lecture hall. Being able to take my part in the multi- faceted community of Penn is something that I look forward to if accepted to Penn.
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