Undergraduate / "Put on Discovery!" - Why engineering and why Yale engineering essay [3]

If you selected one of the engineering majors, please write a brief third essay telling us what has led you to an interest in this field of study, what experiences (if any) you have had in engineering, and what it is about Yale's engineering program that appeals to you.

Please let me know how this sounds. And point out any errors or improvements. Any help will be appreciated.
Deadline approaching -_-

"Faizy, enough is enough. You can't keep watching these useless cartoons the entire day. Put on Discovery! NOW!"

And so my friend my switched to the channel his mom ordered him to. It was an everyday story. Faizan used to love the Power puff girls. Love it. But his mom, being a science enthusiast, loved Discovery. So, losing the everyday battle he turned to Discovery. A familiar song filled the atmosphere.

Mythbusters was on. The frown on Faizan's face was an antipode of the delight on mine. Being more of an athlete than a man of science, he really didn't care about what Adam or Jamie did on the show. I, on the other hand, had grown fond of Mythbusters and a few other Sci-Tech shows his mother used to make us watch. I used to love Adam. His energetic nature combined with his ability to build something out of nothing ignited in me, a love for science and machines, that has just burgeoned ever since.

My most recent attempt at building something that I really wanted to failed miserably. The idea of building an electrostatic levitation chamber using just a thousand rupees in the space of three days for the school science exhibition is what you can call a perfect example of hubris. The days passed by with the speed of light and nothing got done; I realized I was in over my head. Thinking, well, the worst thing that could happen is that I wouldn't win; I found myself relaxing and was surprised to find that the idea that had been eluding me whooshed in with twenty others.

Keen to build something that explained the physics of electrostatics, I decided to build a Van de Graff generator using PVC pipes, several pieces of wire, a motor from a toy car and a soda can. The only thing that I wasn't able to find was a rubber band that would easily fit into the PVC pipes. But then the wrist band lying on the bed-side table caught my eye. With overflowing optimism, I tried it in place of the rubber band and much to my surprise, it worked. The generator finally came to life and suddenly, every bit of effort put in it seemed worthwhile. This experience made me realize that you can come up with a fantastic invention, if you focus on what is and not on what is not.

The knowledge of engineering, however, is not complete unless studied alongside the socio-economic impacts it might have on the society. That's exactly why Yale's engineering program is my ideal choice. Economics and theater are two other fields I have a great interest in and I am sure Yale will provide me with the opportunities to become a pioneer, not only in the world of mechanics but also economics, and maybe even acting. Other than that, the small classrooms and a very low student to faculty ratio guarantee a greater level of collaboration between the students and professors which always reaps fruitful results as engineering is something that just can not be learnt in huge auditoriums with around a hundred students. Being hugely interested in the field of Mechatronics, I long to attend Ast Professor Dollar's lectures and learn more about his exploits in the field of robotics especially about his latest invention that won him the MIT TR35 award. As engineering is all about making designs span out in physical space, SAE and Team Lux will give me an opportunity to do exactly that in a competitive environment. Yale's engineering program will not only provide me with enough research opportunities in the field of engineering but, who knows, it might just help me become an Oscar winning Nobel Laureate.

Undergraduate / Acting + automotive technologies + Keen to build something - MIT Short answers [2]

Please tell me if these sound okay. And suggest any improvements you think will help me make these better. Please :)

We know you lead a busy life, full of activities, many of which are required of you. Tell us about something you do for the pleasure of it. (*)(100 words or fewer)

Acting. It's something that allows me to completely forget who I am and lose myself in another character who bears no resemblance to the real me. A child, a psychopath or a punk; I can be almost anybody I want. My best experience of theater was when I played the role of a gay fashion designer in the annual school play last year. I had to step out of my comfort zone and do things I had never done before. It wasn't easy. But when I heard the audience's applause, what I felt, only one word can describe it: indescribable

Although you may not yet know what you want to major in, which department or program at MIT appeals to you and why? (*) (100 words or fewer)

I long to sit in a lecture delivered by Professor John Heywood and learn more about his exploits in the field of automotive technologies. How a smooth ride entails a complex coordination of wheels and motors is something that has always fascinated me. Designing a machine on paper is one thing, but actually going ahead and making it span out in physical space is another. The latter is where I find my true calling. Therefore, I think the Mechanical Engineering department at MIT will help me chase my dreams of building ingenious machines that are workable and yet extraordinary.

Tell us about the most significant challenge you've faced or something important that didn't go according to plan. How did you manage the situation?(*) (200-250 words)

If you want to know the definition of hubris, it is the misguided attempt to build an electrostatic levitation chamber using just a thousand rupees in the space of three days for the school science exhibition. As the days passed by with the speed of light and nothing got done, I realized I was in over my head. Thinking, well, the worst thing that could happen is that I wouldn't win; I found myself relaxing and was surprised to find that the idea that had been eluding me whooshed in with twenty others. Keen to build something that explained the physics of electrostatics, I decided to build a Van de Graff generator using PVC pipes, several pieces of wire, a motor from a toy car and a soda can. The only thing that I wasn't able to find was a rubber band that would easily fit into the PVC pipes. But then the wrist band lying on the bed-side table caught my eye. With overflowing optimism, I tried it in place of the rubber band and much to my surprise, it worked. The generator finally came to life and suddenly, every bit of effort put in it seemed worthwhile. I felt like a veritable MacGyver: and realized that MacGyver was within me, that engineering cannot be devoid from imagination and creativity if it is to be meaningful.

Undergraduate / "MacGyver can fix anything" - CommonApp Essay [4]

Guys, this is my common app essay. Please help me out. Point out any errors you notice. And suggest any improvements you think will make this better. PLEASE.

Two days left :(

"He's kind of tall, a little over six feet. He's got brown hair, long in back. Brown eyes. He's a nice guy. He doesn't dress like me. Kinda casual."

That's how his best friend once described him. But what sets him apart is not his height but his high degree of ingenuity. His ability to conjure something extraordinary out of, what merely seem, mundane objects makes him more than just a secret agent - a scientific prodigy. Without a gun, and any other weapon for that matter, he manages to defend himself and complete the task at hand. How? A few tidbits of scientific knowledge and a little bit of imagination. Be it disarming a nuclear warhead using a paperclip or using a chocolate bar to stop an acid leak, he can do it all.

"His name is MacGyver; he can fix anything"

Having grown up in Pakistan, all I ever used to watch on TV was either Cartoon Network or The Discovery Channel (I wasn't allowed to watch shows such as Friends until I was 13). However, my uncle used to have a huge collection of TV shows from the 80s and 90s. While he was home for a family dinner one night, he saw me watching The Mythbusters with my friend. Guessing from the awestruck expression on my face that I was enjoying every bit of it, he offered me to lend me a DVD of his favourite show. Excited and inquisitive at the same time, I asked him what it was about. "Oh, you'll love it", was all I got for an answer. And, well, I ended up more than just loving it.

MacGyver soon became a part of my life. His mind boggling escapes and witty sense of humour always left me begging for more at the end of the episode. However, MacGyver was not just another action hero for me. The way he used simple scientific principles to build ingenious contraptions inspired me to do something like that myself. Although the Mythbusters gave me a reason to love science, MacGyver showed me a way of implementing those principles in real life and that too using common everyday stuff. Every trick of his sparked my curiosity and flooded my mind with questions. I used to bug my father for explanations regarding every detail involved in the MacGyverisms. Sometimes he had answers, sometimes he didn't. However, I do remember one particular incident when I had asked him if he can fix a leaky car radiator with eggs like MacGyver did. Yes, he had replied. Then, he went on to tell me how he had actually used this technique to temporarily fix the leak once during his college life.

Apart from his intelligence and vast knowledge in the fields of Physics and Chemistry, his affable and peaceful nature is another reason why he is my inspiration. He was a staunch advocate of gun control and never carried one with himself. Instead, a Swiss Army knife and a roll of duct tape was sometimes all he used to have on hand. A few days back somebody described him as "poor man's James Bond" in an online forum. Not only because he managed to defeat his enemies without using any expensive weapons but also because he used to help the less-privileged whenever he could. His no smoking, no drinking and no guns policy made him the ultimate role mode for all the young guys who grew up watching the show, including me. I was so influenced by his personality that I started copying everything he did. I had once stolen a pen knife from my cousin's room (I don't know what it was doing there) and started carrying it with me all the time as my father had refused to buy me a Swiss Army knife. I remember the puzzled look on the barber's face when I had once told him that I wanted the "MacGyver look". Having no idea as to what I meant, he just gave me the same old boring haircut he always did.

From his love for science to his hate for violence, his amiable personality to his fear of heights - Angus MacGyver is an action hero I can truly relate to. So, today, when ever I feel like nothing is going my way and the all the odds are against me; I ask myself, "What would MacGyver do?"

Word Count: 733

Undergraduate / Acting as a gay fashion designer - Yale+Harvard Essay [NEW]

This is my Yale and Harvard essay about my passion/experiences in acting.
I want feedback. Any corrections, suggestions or improvements?
I also think that the number of paragraphs is too much. What should I do?
I am also exceeding the word limit i.e 500 by 74 words.
HELP!

In this required second essay, tell us something that you would like us to know about you that we might not get from the rest of your application - or something that you would like a chance to say more about. Please limit your essay to fewer than 500 words.

The time is here. I hear the audience's faint murmurs and their whispers of anticipation. I feel my heart pounding against my chest and the adrenaline pumping through my veins. I know that this is it.

And then, the curtains rise.

Who I am is not whom I used to be. I am wholly transformed. I am a chameleon.

It all began at the age of six when I was cast as "Sleepy", one of Snow White's seven dwarfs. Even though I just had three lines in the entire play, I loved every bit of it. I used to stand in front of the mirror for hours and hours trying to perfect those three lines. Watching my parents' and teachers' euphoric smiles at the end of the play made me realize that acting did not only make me happy, but also others around me.

Since then, my passion for acting has just grown. Last year when the opportunity to act in the annual school play knocked on my door I went ahead and grabbed it. I easily managed to impress the director, Yasin Bhai, during the auditions. Being unaware of what role I had been assigned, I danced around in excitement when he told me I was in. Soon, however, that feeling of ecstasy was replaced by sheer disbelief.

I was supposed to play Jimmy, a gay fashion designer.

I was rendered speechless. "A gay fashion designer? I can not do this. That is something that should be done by more experienced actors, not novices like me", I told myself. "So, are you in?" asked Yasin Bhai. Without even thinking, I mumbled an uncertain 'no'. A mere whisper as it was, it passed unheard. He was still waiting for an answer, though. I found myself impaled upon the horns of a dilemma. I couldn't have let such an amazing opportunity slip through my fingers, so I went ahead and accepted the challenge.

Thereon, the next few weeks of my life revolved around Jimmy. I had to step into his shoes and live his life. I watched movies and searched videos on the internet to try and understand his character better. Within two weeks time I had started to get the grasp of how to talk, walk and act like Jimmy.

After what seemed like years of rehearsals, the time to perform arrived. I wasn't nervous but the butterflies in my stomach almost got better of me. However, once I stepped on to the stage I forgot everything else. I was in Jimmy's world, a world where he was scorned upon by his family, a world where he was treated as an outcast in his community, a world where homosexuality was considered to be a crime.

The one hour duration of the play passed in the blink of an eye. Being a perfectionist, I thought I went wrong at several points in time. But the audience's tumultuous applause recited another story altogether. The deafening uproar of claps that echoed in the theater when I bowed made me realize that I had managed win them over. Yasin Bhai's beaming smile and tight hug made me realize I had not let him down. Playing the character of Jimmy made me realize what Gene Hackman actually meant when he said ""Honesty isn't enough for me. That becomes very boring. If you can convince people what you're doing is real and it's also bigger than life -- that's exciting."

Undergraduate / I am a free bird - Why Yale? Short essay. [8]

It's kinda weird. Please tell me how it sounds to you. Need feedback. Urgent!

I am a free bird; I love diversity. I want to celebrate Nowruz. I want to attend a Halloween costume party. I want to participate in gay pride parade. I want to learn French. I want to study the bible. I want to eat Chinese food in an American university with a bunch of Indian friends. Yale, having a very diverse student body, will help me do all that. I am free bird; Yale is my sky.

HELP HELP HELP!