Writing Feedback / Freedom for creative artists to express their ideas in whichever way they wish [3]

hi every body! I've just started ielts course so I have to try to improve my writing skill. I know it still has many mistakes, I really hope to receive your advices about my essay. Thanks so much^^

Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own ideas (in words, pictures, music or film) in whichever way they wish. There should be no government restrictions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Arts are the mirror reflecting the real life and wishes of people, so they are indispensible to human's soul and life. There is a though that creative artists should be given the freedom to do great works. In my opinion, some procedures from the government are necessary to guide arts in which can support improvement of society.

In Western countries, artists have much more freedom than in Eastern. Many people perform on the street, show their abilities in drawing, singing, dancing, etc in whatever way they like. However, sometime they lose their control and do unsuitable things such as wearing sexy clothes, singing worthless songs, drawing pornographies, etc. It conflicts to their culture and moral rules. Therefore, government should have some restrictions to limit these cases, prevent traditional value and nation image.

Besides, works of art often have strong influence to human's mind, especially to children. Unhealthy content in books, films, songs, etc causes pessimistic attitude, even leads someone to crimes. Children see violence, sex films, books will be curious, and imitate something like that. It is so dangerous for youth if family, school and society do not finger out the solution to protect their child from poisonous arts and also help them to have more awareness about its negative effects.

However, true artists always try to honor the beauty, so they use their inspiration, imagination and talent to make wonderful works for humankind. They should be given as much freedom as possible.

In short, depends on different culture in each country, artists will have different rights and obligations. They still have enough freedom to follow their ambition except some fields which are not good for society. Government should take responsibilities for controlling this problem.

Writing Feedback / causes and solutions for problems with student behavior [2]

Although human receive so many advantages from developed technology and economy, they also suffer negative aspects of it. Especially, teenagers are sensitive and easily effected by environment. Problems of student behavior at school are more and more common nowadays. Some main reasons and solutions for this will be discussed as follows.

First of all, modern life with higher speed makes people have to face to more changes and difficulties. That is why the adults are often lake of time for their children. School cannot replace family, children need be loved, took care and educated by their parents. Some children who grow up without care from parents often meet troubles at school and in society as well. They might be isolated, selfish, aggressive, and dishonest. So, family is the major factor leads children's behavior.

Second, children have many channels to get information such as internet, books, DVDs, TV, etc. If they are not old enough to distinct between good and bad things, they will imitate what they see. That's why violence at school happens much more than in the past, especially in girl students. They have rude actions to their friends, even their teachers. These warn us about education quality nowadays.

So, there are some solutions to cope with this problem. First, parents should spend more time for their children, sympathetic to them and help them to overcome difficulties in studying or in life. Second, teachers should keep in touch with family to associate each other in teaching children, guide them how to use media tools usefully, and be strict enough to maintain disciplines at school. However, the adults have to show their kindness to children, forgive for their mistakes, and encourage their strong points. It's the best way to help children.

In short, I strong believe that no one is bad at birth. Family, school and society should take responsibilities for student misbehavior; choose the appropriate method to solve problems. The important thing is we have to do everything by heart because children are our future.