Undergraduate / "to study an instrument, Violin" - CommonApp - Short Answer [7]

The last chord of the final piece resonated throughout the auditorium as the bows lifted into the air. After a moment of dignified tranquility, the conductor lowered his hands and the crowd rose in standing ovation.

Although I was reluctant to dive into something that would require immense amount of time dedicated to practicing at the age of eight, I accepted the opportunity to begin violin lessons that not only enhanced my musical abilities but also taught me valuable lessons. With ever weekly lesson, I acquired more than a simple violin lesson. These lessons taught me the meaning of patience, dedication, resilience, diligence, and passion.

Although the last time I would ever hold a violin in public ended with a lift of the bow, the vibrant sound of the violin will never leave my mind. The violin was my means of creative expression; it was a familiar extension of myself.

Undergraduate / "the vivid gardens and foliage of Ethiopia" significant experience, its impact on you [6]

I looked outside the window of my dad's low-rise apartment building and saw the vivid gardens and foliage of Ethiopia blend in perfectly with signs of modernization.

I looked outside the window of my dad's low-rise apartment building and saw the vivid gardens filled with foliage of Ethiopia blending in perfectly with signs of modernization.

I stepped out of my dad's building ready to take in what I had seen just a couple of stories higher, but I got a reality check... I was in Ethiopia.

I stepped out of my dad's building ready to take in what I had seen just a couple stories higher, but reality hit me. I was in Ethiopia.

first paragraph suggestions!

Undergraduate / my store's logo + different cultures + my grandpa - NYU answers [5]

For #2, I suggest you changing us to 'me' since you started with 'me' in the beginning. the question should be focused on you instead of people as a whole.

Undergraduate / "to study an instrument, Violin" - CommonApp - Short Answer [7]

The last chord of the final piece resonated throughout the auditorium as the bows lifted into the air. After a moment of dignified tranquility, the conductor lowered his hands and the crowd rose in standing ovation.

Although I was reluctant to dive into something that would require immense amount of time dedicated to practicing at the age of eight, I accepted the opportunity to begin violin lessons that not only enhanced my musical abilities but also taught me valuable lessons. With every weekly lesson, I acquired more than a simple violin lesson. These lessons taught me the meaning of patience, dedication, resilience, diligence, and passion.

While the last time I held a violin in public ended with a lift of the bow, the vibrant sound of the violin will never leave my mind. The violin was my means of creative expression; it was a familiar extension of myself.

148 words.
i don't know what to delete so i can elaborate on patience, dedication, resilience, diligence, and passion.
):

Undergraduate / Arts and Science (what to write about? - Supplement - Scholarship In Action) [4]

Syracuse University's Scholarship in Action mission encompasses my ideal method of hands-on learning. As a student at Syracuse, I plan on joining The Carnegie Religion and Media Program. This program will allow me to utilize the information that I learn in the classroom and use it to help the Syracuse community develop. I plan on using the knowledge that I gain in this program and classrooms to also help fellow Syracuse students gain a better understanding about religion through my studies as an Arts and Science major. I also want to partake in the Study Abroad program that Syracuse University offers by traveling to their location in Florence, Italy. By immersing myself in a foreign culture, I will be able to view ideas and designs from different perspectives. The insight which I gain from the program through community projects and artistic collaborations will then be used to enhance the culture diversity of Syracuse by sharing my experiences with other students.

Undergraduate / Arts and Science (what to write about? - Supplement - Scholarship In Action) [4]

Syracuse University's Scholarship in Action mission encompasses my ideal method of hands-on learning. As a student at Syracuse, I plan on joining The Carnegie Religion and Media Program. Growing up in a family where religion is split in the middle, I have taken the time to research and understand about all the different kinds of religion in the world. Religion has always been a controversial topic all over the world, so it is to my belief that if I can help educate people about religion through my studies as an Arts and Science major, communication barriers caused my religion may be broken down. In addition, I plan to pursue my interests in cultures by participating in the university's Discovery Florence study abroad program. By immersing myself in foreign culture, I will be able to view ideas and designs from different perspectives. The insights which I gain from the program through community projects and artistic collaborations will then be used to enhance the culture diversity of Syracuse by sharing my experiences, and like Syracuse's mission, educate for the world in the world.

Undergraduate / "determination" - your favorite word an why? [6]

A few years ago when hard work and a desire to win paid off

This sounded confusing to me, but maybe it's just me.

All year, my teachers had alluded to this essay, and I was eager to be the student from the entire grade to gain this award.

Undergraduate / "I used to giggle at doctors" - JHU Supplement #1 [6]

The philosophy part of your answer is too short. You should elaborate on it more, maybe talk about Nietzsche and some points in it that made you interested in philsophy.

Undergraduate / "My family from Taiwan, financial situation" - Additional Information Essay [3]

There's no prompt. This is what it says:

Include any additional information that you would like to provide regarding special circumstances, additional qualifications, etc.

I just chose to write about my family's financial conditions.

Thanks for the suggestion!

Money has never been something my family has taken for granted. With my father working in Taiwan, he sends as much money to us as he can while keeping only a meager amount of his salary for his living expenses there. Due to my mother's immigration status and the language barrier she has yet to overcome, she has been forced to accept menial jobs to provide for my brothers and me. It is heartbreaking to see my parents working constantly to provide for us while at the end of the month, there is little to no money left for my parents to spend on themselves. Although I grew up in this kind of financial situation, I have never resented my parents for not providing me with the same toys that other kids had. Instead, I played outside and used the resources I had to have a good time. As I grew older, I traded designer clothing for simple hand me downs. Unlike many teenagers, I did not go to driving school nor did I get a car when I was sixteen. Instead of extravagant birthday parties, I celebrated by eating a small cake with my family. Birthday and Christmas presents came once in a blue moon, and my family definitely could not afford the luxury of going on cruises during breaks. All of this did not matter to me though. I have a roof over my head, three hot meals a day to keep me healthy, and most of all, I have parents with caring, sacrificial hearts. Instead, I believe that these superficial things that I couldn't obtain taught me to not take things for granted and to have a generous heart. My parent's sacrificial heart has made me stronger in that I am more determined than ever to get a good education and become successful so I can give back to them in return. I plan to give them a life that they could not have, and I hope to provide for them a comfortable life where they no longer have to worry about their financial troubles.