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Posts by clamchowder
Joined: Dec 28, 2010
Last Post: Dec 28, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 9  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 10
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clamchowder   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "the future sexualization of men" - Stanford intellectual vitality [5]

Prompt: Stanford students are widely known to possess a sense of intellectual vitality. Tell us about an idea or an experience you have had that you find intellectually engaging.

Here's the intro:

I wonder about the future sexualization of men. It is an undeniable fact that women are often portrayed by the media as objects to be used by men. With the rising gay movement, is it possible that men will be used to sell objects just as frequently as women? In today's politically correct world, should viewing other humans as tools to one's pleasure even be an acceptable action? The use of an physical attractiveness to encourage others to purchase a product could be seen as a demeaning action where the body is abused for commercial profit. Since this issue is less discussed by male groups, I look to feminists for their positions on the subject.
clamchowder   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / Babson Letter- "I am different!" [5]

Attending Babson has been my dream ever since I moved to the States-an all business school that will help me focus on my career amongst people with who share the same goals as me. Going to Babson is a great opportunity and hopefully together we will make the best of it.

Attending and going are the same...possibly rephrase the second sentence?

I hope to that I can take this passion to the next level, here at Babson.
At Babson, the one thing that I look forward to is the diversity of campus life.


Repetitive "at Babson." Incorporate the "I hope..." sentence into previous sentences?

Style of writing is perfect, and you definitely answered the prompt! :)
clamchowder   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "the mechanics of nature is intriguing" Intellectually engaging experience Stanford [3]

Capitalize the word Nature in the first sentence so we know you're personifying it.

I see her well - being and sustenance to be of utmost importance, motivating me to do do my own personal research on the environment.

remove "according to some of my credible sources, "

I found this and an array of other supportive data very enlightening, especially since it is somewhat contrary to popular belief on the subject, prompting me to host a research presentation.
clamchowder   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "I wanted to major in Computer Science" - why to apply to Harvey Mudd College? [4]

One day I went up to the head of high school, Mr. Plonka, and asked him if I could start an organization called STIR.

" I told him that according to many theories learning is like a social event, where an emotional relationship is essential. Thus, to improve students' chances for academic success, teachers and students must strive together to form meaningful personal relationships, which I believe this organization, will help bring forth."

With a $2 million dollar budget just for research and the freedom to conduct whatever you want or care for, a man can go wild and so would I.

i nternational s chool

intellectual college day

"The openness to trust anybody and everybody is just amazing, whereas, in my school we were told to lock everything just in case something goes missing. "

Uh, add a transition to this?

Spontaneous and invention are two words which are always in my mind and HMC won't take that away, in fact, it will nurture it.

i nterview;
clamchowder   
Dec 28, 2010
Undergraduate / "Hate and prejudice rear their ugly heads" - COMMON APP [3]

Hate and prejudice rear their ugly heads.
Prisoners in striped clothing stripped of their dignity.
Teased and tortured.
Thrown into ovens, and burned to ashes.
Childhood is a preservation of our fondest memories.


Little confusing, at least for me.
It's the point in time where things are simple, and innocence is cherished. Cartwheels, poems by Shel Silverstein, episodes of Rugrats, and "tag-you're-it" were the epitome of my youth. Days were carefree and nights were bliss. The happiness, the compassion and the tranquility of life were the only characteristics existent in my world. My mom and her wisdom were the lyrics to my soundtrack of life. I admired her more than anybody because through her personal anecdotes and our experiences together; she taught me moral principles and awareness of the world around me.

A solid metal detector and a diminutive assembly of security guards lined the entrance of the Museum of Tolerance. Inside, my mom and I were introduced to the tour guide; a pleasant, elderly man who knew a lot about everything. He guided us to a gray-scaled corridor with dimmed lighting and a subtle chill in the air. A profound description of Adolf Hitler's background marked the beginning of the tour. The tone of the exhibit embodied the gravity of the subject. Hitler's foreseeable reign of terror initiated fear in my mind. I became frightened at the sight of his toothbrush moustache and piercing brown eyes. When the introduction ended, we were given photo identification passports describing the stories of innocent children whose lives were impacted by events of the Holocaust. Next, we were led to a display of a 1930's Berlin Street café where realistic mannequins casually sat and discussed their concerns over the impending Nazi takeover. As we continued through the museum, I noticed how broken Germany and the spirit of its people became as Hitler rose to power. The sights and sounds of the exhibit made the visit all the more compelling and authentic. We were launched back in time to relive the past and become witnesses to victims of concentration camps, senseless murders, and genocide in Nazi-dominated Europe. Around each corner and through each hallway there was a plethora of images, voices, statistics and stories, each crying out to be remembered, and to be dwelt upon. At the end of the exhibit, the passports we received were updated and the ultimate fate of my child was revealed. A cloud of sorrow formed above me when I learned about the death of my child; a child whose life was cut short because of reasons beyond their control; a child who never had the opportunity to read a poem by Shel Silverstein, watch an episode of Rugrats, play "tag-you're-it", or do cartwheels in the grass; a child who never had a childhood.

On the evening following our day at the museum, my mom shared a story regarding her experience growing up in Johannesburg, South Africa during apartheid. As a black woman, she faced the remnants of racial injustice and inevitable anguish. I associated the details of her narrative with what I'd learned at the museum concerning the Holocaust and the poison it secreted over humanity. I developed a deeper understanding of the world through this knowledge of my mom's past and events in our history. The aftermath of the day at the Museum of Tolerance and the night of storytelling left me pondering about heavy issues circling around our past, developing insight about our present, and worrying about our future. I'd reached the stage where I realized that life wasn't all teddy bears, and gumdrops. Disappointment spilled over my spirit when I discovered that hate, prejudice, and torment had been hiding beneath the shadows of my basement. I'd been blindfolded and unconscious to the "evil" in humanity, because, for years, I'd only been exposed to the "good". The entire experience impacted me in such a way that I was forced to look inside myself and gain an alternate perspective of not only the world around me, but also my place in the world.

Nice essay! Love the ending.
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