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Posts by poweralex2305
Joined: Jan 2, 2011
Last Post: Jan 4, 2011
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 3
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poweralex2305   
Jan 3, 2011
Undergraduate / "Born in Russia, I live in US" I can contribute to the diversity of the University by [3]

Describe how you can contribute to the diversity of the University. This is still just a raw draft, I appreciate any suggestions, and corrections.

While I live in America now, I was originally born and raised in Russia until I was fifteen. While living vast amount of time in the other country I can greatly contribute to the diversity in the University of XXX. Due to a large diversity in the population of Russia, the people I was raised around taught me to be open-minded. I've seen, experienced and still carry in me a culture and traditions that are quite different from what a common American would have. I am willing to share my knowledge with anyone who is willing to learn or just of general interest about other countries. There are lots of things that are different about my country, starting from our traditional foods, dances, and arts, all the way to the history. Simply talking about, say, Russian Orthodox Church would take up tons of pages.

Besides being a citizen of Russia, I have also had a great opportunity to travel and live in Egypt and Turkey for over a month, where I've gathered lots of fascinating and interesting things about the community and local lifestyle. As you can see, throughout my life I've always been interested in experiencing other cultures. While living in a diverse community I've had a pleasure to be able to collaborate with people from a plethora of countries. It is always a thrill to experience a part of a different culture, that's why while I continue to learn more about America, I am attaining knowledge about Spain and Mexico in my college Spanish classes.

I am confident that I have the experiences and potential to prove that I will be an asset to your undergraduate program. Thank you for your consideration, I look forward to intellectually inspiring and fruitful association with your university.
poweralex2305   
Jan 4, 2011
Undergraduate / "diversity doesn't alway work" - WISCONSIN- WHAT DO YOU BRING? [2]

Ok, here is what I think: I like how you use a particular example about Haitian Revolution and your positive experience with Haitian students, because that is what your question is all about-- particular life experiences, perspectives, ... .

However, I don't really think that you need to talk about diversity not being able to mix up, that's irrelevant and something that colleges don't want to hear. But if you do decide to take that approach, talk more about how much you interact with people and use different ice breaking technics compared to others or something, but again make it particular, your experiences. You mention how you have friends from diverse nationalities-- tell us more about it. Than you talk about interests, like soccer and baseball, add something about teamwork and how much you enjoy it.

"Despite the achievement gap present in our society at large, my AP and honor classes are relatively diverse." I am not sure what are you trying to say here. Do you mean like you classes are diverse but you guys actially interact and communicate to each other quite well, if so try to explain why?

"As my experiences have demonstrated, diversity clicks only if there is curiosity, excitement and interaction"-- I really like you thesis.
Then you do mention that you are a part of a debate class, again explore into it. Say something like you guys talk about lots of different topics, how well rounded you are and even though it is a debate we all agree to disagree and you highly respect that.
poweralex2305   
Jan 4, 2011
Scholarship / "the experience of applying numbers to solve problems" subjects have you excelled in? [2]

Many times my teacher asksor asked/ me why do I love math so much... .
And usually I can grasp a subject at least as quick as anyone in the class.
After while people bega n depending on my assistance for math and I became the best math student in the class and received the Best Student Award in math for 3rd grade.

This is a long sentence, I would split it to: After while people began depending on my assistance for math. Later that year,and I became the best math student in the class and received the Best Student Award. in math for 3rd grade

I believe the blend of the great teachers I've had and my nature of loving math, had always allowed me to excel in every math class I have had (I am not sure on those 2 corrections but I do think it's right). Finally, I plan on maintaining and improving my math skills for many years to come .

Very good essay, I like you life experiences samples and how you talked about challenges you faced and overcame, makes the reader see your character succeed.
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