Undergraduate / "Born in Russia, I live in US" I can contribute to the diversity of the University by [3]

Hi Power Alex,

Here's my quick feedback:

I think your experience in Russia is probably fascinating. Is there a way that you can talk about the challenges or insights growing up where you did? What's different about growing up in Russia as compared to where this university is? What kind of new perspective do you think that you can bring?

Scholarship / Finance Major + a Chartered Financial Analyst (short/long term goals) Gates 4 Mill [3]

Hi Jemesh,

A question:

-Is the Gates program a scholarship? If so, will they be confused if you state that you already have a full scholarship?

My feedback:

1. I think that the connection that you make between finance and math seems a little weak. You may want to try to discuss your passion for finance instead of stating that you love math and therefore want to go into finance. What is it about finance that interests you? Is it the analytical approach to solving business problems? Is it b/c you have a natural talent for numbers that you think can help [insert something]?

2. Your first paragraph needs to be re-worked completely. It just feels like you are trying to create a lofty opening paragraph. I think that you should be more straightforward here.

Good luck!

Faq, Help / Why is my topic / thread deleted? [78]

yadda, you seem to have a good sense of humor. Yes, trying to compliment you so you will edit my essay. :)