Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by pranavkjain
Joined: Jan 18, 2011
Last Post: Jan 31, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: India

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
pranavkjain   
Jan 18, 2011
Undergraduate / Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru, PM of India - "a historical and influential figure" -Common app [4]

Here is the essay I wrote for my Common application.How is it?

Describe a historical figure that has had an influence on you and explain that influence.
End to bloodbaths in Rwanda and Eritrea, stability in Afghanistan, peace in Kashmir, unprecedented growth of central Africa, democracy in Myanmar, nuclear disarmament, and protection of the polar bear and Antarctica - during my tenure as the UN Secretary General I have seen it all. With global cooperation and the incentive to make a difference, I have changed the world for better, bringing power to the weak and giving a voice to those without one. Today my tenure ends, and as I spend my last moments in my office at 760, UN Plaza in New York City before delivering my farewell address to the General Assembly , I look outside my window at the delegates arriving from the world over for my last session and think of the millions whose hopes they represent and also of the man who inspired me to help them.

A host of portraits adorn the walls of my office. However, as I think of the man who has inspired me the most my, eyes stop at the portrait of Pt. Jawaharlal Nehru - the first and the longest serving Prime Minister of India. The gentle smile on his face reminds me of his humility, and the glow in his eyes speaks volumes about his determination and vision. My address still an hour away, I begin to dig deep into the past - specifically the formative years of my life.

I grew up in India during the time when its economy was rapidly progressing, and since childhood, my ambitions were high. I would think of doing path breaking research in economics and creating pieces of literature that would alter the thinking of an entire generation. As a restless youngster yearning to understand the past of his country, I used to read India's economic and political history in detail and was thus introduced to Nehru - the man who shaped the very history I read. I read about his ideals, visions, policies, and deeds. Reading about Nehru affected me on two levels. First, it provided me with valuable knowledge about a great statesmen and the way he led the nation I called home. At a more profound level, it broadened my ambitions. His advocacy for peace and intense desire to serve others was truly inspirational. As I read more about him, I extended my ambitions to incorporate my knowledge to impact the lives of others in a positive and meaningful way. Nehru had a vision, and he worked his entire life to transform it into reality. This fact made me realize that if I wanted to make a difference, dreaming extravagantly would never help. I had to act. Walking the path Nehru showed me would serve me well. Since then, if I were ever going to write something, it would have to inspire others. If I were to conduct research in economics, it would have to be for the benefit of the poor.

I first encountered Nehru at the age of ten when I read his celebrated speech, "Tryst with Destiny," delivered on the eve of India's independence. In his skillfully-engineered speech, Nehru spoke at length about his vision for a modern India and the importance of freedom. I could feel the hope with which he looked at the future. I had an adrenaline rush as I found him asking his countrymen to be a part of the great 'adventure' of building a new India. In his words I could see a reflection of his exuberance towards the new found freedom and his ambition - an ambition which extended to the greater cause of humanity.

Illiteracy and poverty were rampant and seemed insurmountable during Nehru's time. He, nonetheless, confronted these challenges steady in his belief that the poor should be able to lift themselves. The government's role was to make them self-reliant by providing them with the necessary resources. This philosophy was successful in elevating many to prosperity. It is this belief that guided me to pursue various community service activities both in India and abroad.

Recognizing the value of education and observing the challenges faced by India's large blind population, I volunteered to take tests on behalf of blind students disenfranchised by society. In addition, I collaborated with local health care workers to provide eye care to nearby villagers. Because of our efforts, these villagers can now read, write, and sew - activities that have empowered them to earn a living that provides them with self-respect.

Nehru's inspiration, however, inspired me to empower those less fortunate across geographical boundaries. In fact, in 2010 I traveled with a group of volunteers to Peru where we constructed a green house in the Andes, sometimes working in temperatures as low as - 9 degrees centigrade. Our work provided the villagers with sustainable means of nutrition and reduced their dependence on others who have exerted deliberate indifference for years.

"The north thrives as the South decays." This thought often crossed my mind while I was in Peru. As I explored Latin America firsthand, I could see clearly how the global north continues to thrive while the global south shivers in the winds of poverty, how Mc Donald's was expanding while children in the Andes were malnourished. Working in Peru and in rural India made me realize that there was something more important than becoming a leading intellectual or researcher: identifying unmet needs and working to fulfill them. Both experiences provided me with the answer to a question Nehru had asked the youth of his country: "Will the monument you leave behind be a palace on Malabar Hill, or will it be built up in the hearts of the people you have served?"

One of Nehru's key strengths as a leader was his ability to communicate. An orator as well as a writer, he proselytized the masses and lifted them from despair to hope. He mobilized them and made them believe in democratic ideals as the way to peace and prosperity. Nehru's mastery of words amazed and energized his listeners and taught me how words - if used skillfully - can transform, uplift, and inspire.

Nehru's command of words inspired me to develop a similar ability. I participated in multiple debate tournaments around the country and received multiple accolades. What began with my reading of "Tryst with Destiny" had turned into a passion, from talking about my country's politics to assessing the possibility of geeks ruling the world in the future. Public speaking gave me confidence and courage, sharpened my critical thinking skills, and prepared me for what lay ahead by training me to develop principled and well-reasoned arguments.

Nehru taught me how dedication and relentless pursuit of one's goals can change the seemingly hopeless lives of millions. Throughout my life, I have brought passion and dedication into everything I have done. Reflecting on my tenure as Secretary General, I am proud of my accomplishments and feel I have followed the path Nehru showed me. I hope my successor builds on my success and continues to uplift the lives of others.
pranavkjain   
Jan 22, 2011
Undergraduate / "Ghana's Independence Square" - looking through a window Williams College essay [4]

Hi Seth

Overall your essay is good.However, with little editing you can make it even better.You need to work on the first paragraph so that you present a clear picture of what you are seeing.You need to make the admissions officer feel that he is himself witnessing the scene.

Interchanging the first and the second para might help.The particulars that you have mentioned in the second para can be used as the beginning.

I hope this helps.

Regards
Pranav
pranavkjain   
Jan 22, 2011
Scholarship / 3 different writing options for a scholarship, which is best to answer? [2]

Hi Kristin,
I think you should go with the second prompt.Writing the first one may not be that good.You have written that you are going to write about your dad losing his job and his savings going away.It would become obvious to them that if you are applying for a scholarship, you do need help because you will have to present a certification of finances.

Write the second one and tell them who you are.They should get a clear picture of how you will utilize the scholarship.That will help them to select you for the scholarship.Sound ambitious and tell them how far and big can you think.

Regards
Pranav
pranavkjain   
Jan 31, 2011
Undergraduate / "to develop both intellectually and personally" - essay i sent to Columbia [3]

Please tell us what you find most appealing about Columbia and why?

What appeals to me about Columbia the most is the opportunity to develop both intellectually and personally in ways that will allow me to achieve lasting, meaningful success.

Fortunate to have a wide range of interests in a nation where mathematics and science are disproportionately emphasized, I appreciate two aspects of Columbia's academic curriculum. First, Columbia's strengths in both Economics and Political Science will allow me to build and leverage a strong foundation essential for a career in public policy and international affairs. Second, Columbia's emphasis on the Core Curriculum aligns with my own belief in developing an intellectual curiosity that transcends academic majors, a necessity in solving society's most critical challenges.

Academics aside, Columbia also offers extensive extracurricular and cultural opportunities that will contribute greatly to my personal growth. An avid debater and speaker for years, I intend to join Columbia's Philolexian Society and refine my oratory and writing skills with classmates who share this passion. In addition, being part of a culturally rich and diverse student body in an urban and culturally rich city will supplement classroom learning and prepare me to appreciate and celebrate our differences as citizens of an interconnected, global family.

No other university offers such comprehensive education, and by absorbing all what Columbia has to offer, I hope to lead a life that maximizes my impact upon society
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳