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Posts by ironhawk893
Joined: Feb 6, 2011
Last Post: Mar 13, 2011
Threads: 6
Posts: 15  
From: Canada

Displayed posts: 21
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ironhawk893   
Feb 6, 2011
Research Papers / Types of Cruiser Motorcycles [4]

Hi I have to do a Classification paragraph on Types of Cruiser Motorcycles using two supports frame style and suspension, 10 to 12 sentences in length for my writing workshop. I am hoping that you can look it over and give me any suggestions as well as check my punctuation not to sure if what i am doing is right or not so feedback would be great thanks.

Cruiser style motorcycles can be classified into three categories: Softails, Hardtails(Rigid), and Customs. Softails are built using a two part frame with a pivot point allowing active suspension to be mounted to the rear wheel via a swingarm. This allows for a smooth comfortable ride. Hardtails(Rigid) are built using a solid one piece frame, therefore mounting the rear tire axle directly to the frame with no suspension. This means more road feel and a rough ride. Customs are built with frames that are streached and/or widened and will or will not have a form of suspension depending on the builders vision. These bikes are built to satisfy the customers riding comfort.
ironhawk893   
Feb 9, 2011
Speeches / How to write an persuasive speech? Any suggestion for a good topic? [6]

I hear where you are coming from. I just started back in academic upgrading Jan 3rd and i just had my course on persuasive writing yesterday. What i learned was to make sure the topic is not to bold it has to be something that does not go on and on for example don't pick something like "people should try to cure their own addictions" only because if you think about addiction how many are there gambling, drugs, smoking, alcoholism the list goes on. It would just be way to much. Now if say you take smoking and if you are against it then that would be a good topic. Basically if you are against smoking then it's like writing a letter to people to try and get them to quit by laying out a good argument or if your for smoking then try to convince someone of why you should not quit. Try to use at least 3 good points and use them in the manner of from least important to the most important and do not forget your transition words.

Purpose: To get people to see your point, to agree with it, and maybe act on it.
You take a stand, support your stand with convincing reasons, and you give details.

Topics: Pick a topic you can handle.
Choose a topic you can manage based on your own experiences and observations.

Topic Sentence: Do two things in your topic sentence: identify your subject, take a stand
The words should, ought, and must often occur in the topic sentence.
Avoid annoucing your topic for example: This paragraph will show why there
should not be an increase in parking fees.

Body: Use clear, logical reasons-at least 3.
Put the most important reason last.
Use strong, specific examples for each of your reasons. The reader will be able
to "see" what you are talking about.
Use opinions from recognized, respected authorities to support your points.
Consider your audience and how you might answer your critics.
a) You may prove that the objection isn't valid.
b) You may admit the other side has a point-you may have to concede that point.
c) You may turn the objection into an advantage.

Concluding Sentence: The last sentence will strongly summarize your position.

I hope this is a help to you, trust me once you start to think about it, it will come natural. I think this is the easiest form of writing as I just finished classification and contrast, comparison let me tell you those killed me. If you can pick a topic that you know alot about and don't have to research anything thats what you want to go with. Once again iI hope this is a help.

Good Luck
ironhawk893   
Feb 10, 2011
Speeches / How to write an persuasive speech? Any suggestion for a good topic? [6]

Well i know nothing about child soldiers so i can not say if this would be a good topic or not. I know that for myself it would be something i would have to researh everything. The fact is that if you have not done this type of writing your best bet would be to do something simple for your first try at it. Pick a topic that you know enough about that you will not have to research that way it will make it easier for you to do. Even if you make it simple doesn't mean it will not get you a good mark. By doing something you know alot about it will allow you to make it simple but very informative which will score you a good mark. Just sit down and think about something that you and your friends debate about on daily basis and take from that because really that is all persuasive writing is. I hope you can understand what i am trying to say here and it's not to jumbled. Do up some rough work and post it and i will let you know what i think. When do you have to have the speech ready for.
ironhawk893   
Feb 10, 2011
Writing Feedback / "Although my daughters are twins" - Contrast/Comparison Paragraphs [4]

Hi I am hoping someone out there knows contrast/comparison paragraph writing. I am writing a contrast paragraph on my twin daughters. I hope one of you can look it over and help with the right punctuations and add, change or delete certain parts. Must be 12 to 15 sentences long and contain 3 main points. I am doing this one in point by point method. Thankful for any help i can get.

Although my daughters are twins, they do not look or act alike; they have plenty of differences. My daughter Kymberly is in her first year of Pre media at Durham College, still living at home and she likes to hang out with alot of friends at once. She is a active person and always has something going on. My second daughter, Jacqueline, on the other hand, finished her schooling and works as a personal support worker. She lives on her own with her boyfriend and their two-year-old daughter. She enjoys just spending quiet relaxing evenings at home with her family and rarely goes out to parties. Kym has a very strong, assertive personality, no one pushes her around. However, Jacquie is the complete opposite; she is very shy and quiet, and you would never notice her attention. Even though they are twins they also look different as well. Kym has always been the larger of the two, even at birth Jacquie was much more petite. They both have natural blonde hair but Kym likes her hair short and coloured brown, using little to no makeup at all whereas Jacquie likes her hair long and never wants to change the colour, never going anywhere without first putting on her makeup. Although they have many differences they still carry the same values, beliefs, and traditions.
ironhawk893   
Feb 11, 2011
Letters / Memo to the plant employees about the company's Christmas party, Memo writing [4]

Hi we were given a assignment on Memos which is due this week. The topic given to me is: You have been asked to draft a memo to the plant employees about the company's Christmas party. Consider such things as the date, location, costs, food, wheather guests are allowed, and procedure for making resevations. Include any other relevant details about your party. I am not sure if this is enough or too much, any extra info would be appreciated. Thanks

MEMO

To: All Hourly Employees

From: Social Committee

Date: November 1, 2011

Subject: Annual Lear Christmas Party

I am pleased to announce the annual Lear Christmas party will be held December 17, 2011 at 6:00pm in Oshawa at the C.A.W. union hall.

The dinner will be prepared by Judy's Catering and served at 6:30pm, followed by a dance at 8:00pm. There will be live music, games, and prizes throughout the night. Guests are welcome but on a first come first serve basis as these tickets are limited. Fees for the night are as follows: Employee's and their spouse $10.00 each, guests $30.00 each.

Please contact your social committee member to purchase tickets by December 2, 2011 as tickets will not be available after this date.
ironhawk893   
Feb 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / "Although my daughters are twins" - Contrast/Comparison Paragraphs [4]

Ok i do agree i like the way this sounds with these few changes. I noticed you did not comment on the 3rd point of looks though "Eventhough they are twins they also look different as well. Kym has always been the larger of the two, even at birth Jacquie was much more petite. They both have natural blonde hair but Kym likes her hair short and coloured brown, using little to no makeup at all whereas Jacquie likes her hair long and never wants to change the colour, never going anywhere without first putting on her makeup." I am sure this part needs work as it just does not sound quite right to me but somehow needs to be in the paragraph as there needs to be 3 points which are 1. lifestyles, 2. personallities, and 3. looks. As for "Although they have many differences they still carry the same values, beliefs, and traditions." we have to have a closing sentence to the paragraph that incorporates the topic sentence.
ironhawk893   
Feb 11, 2011
Research Papers / Types of Cruiser Style Motorcycles [3]

Hi this is my reconditioned classification style paragraph please let me know if there are any changes or punctuations that need to be made otherwise it's getting handed in like this. Thanks all.

Types of Cruiser Style Motorcycles

The cruiser style motorcycle can be classified into three categories according to the style of frame used to build it as Softails, Hardtails(Rigid), and Customs. Softails are built using a two part frame combination which incorporates a swingarm and pivot point allowing an active suspension dampened with the use of shock absorbers to be mounted to the rear wheel. This allows for a smooth comfortable ride, favoured by riders who wish to travel long distances. Hardtails(Rigid) are built using a solid one piece frame, therefore mounting the axle of the rear tire directly to the frame without an active suspension system, the only suspension achieved is through the rear tire. This means more road feel and a rough ride, favoured by riders who want the old school chopper look and feel of yesteryear. Customs are built with frames that are stretched and/or widened and will or will not have a form of an active suspension system depending on the builder's and customer's vision. These bikes are built in many variations from over the top extreme to barebones, with a riding comfort which will suit the riders needs. These bikes are favoured by those who want something original that they can call their own. Of the three categories softails, hardtails, and customs, my personal preference is the hardtail.
ironhawk893   
Feb 21, 2011
Writing Feedback / Women Should not Choose Abortion Persuasive Paragraph [3]

Hi I am looking for some help here this is my last paragraph i need to do for my writing workshop. It is a persuasive type paragraph and has to be 12 to 15 sentences in length. Please let me know how it is and if i have all the punctuations and such in place or if you have a better idea to throw into it. Thanks for your help it is very appreciated.

P.S. not trying to offend anyone with the topic here it's just a school project everyone is entitled to their own opinions.

Women Should not Choose Abortion

Because of the risks involved, women should not choose abortion to terminate their pregnancy. This is a life changing event with significant physical and emotional consequences of which most women do not realize until after the procedure has been performed. First of all, there are many immediate complications, which can occur during the procedure, the most common being perforation of the uterus, cervical injury, infection, and retained tissue. According to the American Journal of Obs/Gyn, since these injuries will usually go undiagnosed there is a 25% increased risk of problems with future pregnancies such as miscarriage, premature delivery, and rupture of the placenta to name a few. Secondly, the elevated risk of breast, cervical, and ovarian cancer. The Journal of National Cancer Institude reports that a womans risk of breast cancer increases by 30% after abortion, 90% if performed after 18 weeks of pregnancy and 150% if the woman is under age 18. Finally, and most importantly, is the emotional and psychological impact. Many woman after the abortion experience initial relief, the crisis is over and life returns to normal, however according to the Canadian Health and Canadian Medical Associations the crisis is not over, in fact it has just begun. Months even years later significant problems like clinical depression, drug and alcohol abuse, even suicide can occur due to the guilt, grief, and anger felt. Most women who have experienced abortion find it difficult to bond with a partner and other children afterwards, they say that they wish they had knowing all the facts before the procedure and regretted their decision to abort.
ironhawk893   
Mar 11, 2011
Writing Feedback / Keys To College Success Summary Writing Assignment [8]

I am hoping that someone can help me out with this to at least get me started in the right direction. I have never done this kind of thing before and I am lost i have no idea to where to even begin. I have searched the internet for some examples but have come up empty so I thought i would try this as it has helped in the past.

The assignment is to be no less than 100 words and no more than 176 words and must be done in ones own words not taken word from word from the assignment.

TOPIC SENTENCE
-Identifies author
-Identifies Source
-Identifies Article Name
-Identifies Clearly and Accurately the main point of both the passage and the summary
BODY
-Includes Key Points
-Points are Accurate
-Contains no Unnecessary Information
-Contains no Personal Information
-Follows the Original Order of the Passage being Summarized
-Proper Length
CONCLUSION
-Brief Closing Sentence
-Refers to the Topic Sentence
STYLE
-Effective Use of One's Own Words
-Clear and Coherent

Keys to College Success

At the start of Erica's first semester in college, one her professors handed out a test schedule on the first day of class. The schedule showed that a one-hour exam would be given on October 2- the first test in the course. Erica scanned the sheet, stuck it in one of her textbooks, and promptly forgot about it. She assumed that the professor would give the class several reminders about the test and that he would go over the materials the students needed to know. As time went by, and nothing was said about the test, she assumed the professor had changed his mind. On October 2, Erica received a rude awakening in the form of five closely typed sheets of paper containing fifty tough questions on the assigned readings and lectures the professor had given. Erica was outraged. She didn't do well on the test, to put it kindly.

During that year, Erica learned other shocking things in college, many of them having to do with taking on responsibility without being prompted or reminded. Erica's experiences are similar to those of many other college students. Such students never acquire the necessary keys to college success.

The first key to succeeding in college is taking control of your time. This means knowing what you have to do and planning ahead for classes, projects, and tests. One important means of time control is using a large monthly calendar to give you an "at-a-glance" view of due dates and other special events. Keeping the calendar in a place where you will see it often can prevent you from losing track of time and being surprised by the nearness of your term paper due date or biology midterm. Another means of time control is making up a weekly study schedule. In other words, plan specific blocks of time during your week when you will study. In making a weekly schedule, first fill in the hours when you have unbreakable commitments to class time, work time, and so on. Then look for chunks of free time- at least one hour long- that you can use for studying. A study schedule can help you make efficient use of your time by capturing those free hours that would otherwise drift away, leaving you wondering why you accomplished so little. A final method of time control is a "to-do" list. On "to-do" list, you jot down the goals you want to accomplish during the day. Such a list might contain reminders on everything from buying a CD to reading chapter 3 of your psychology text. A "to-do" list brings together all the stray "I have to ..." ideas that cross your mind each day. Crossing items off a "to-do" list can give you a real feeling of satisfaction. You also have the pleasant sensation that you are controlling your tasks and responsibilities, not the other way around.

Making a strong start at the beginning of each new semester is another key to college success. Wasting time at the start of the term and then trying to play "catch-up" is a sure route to failure in college. Making a strong start means being disciplined enough to study, read, and initiate time-control measures even though "It's only the first week" or "I don't have a test for three weeks." You have to go prepared to those first classes by being ready to take notes. You should buy your books right away, despite the long line at the bookstore. In addition, you should find out the names and phone numbers of one or two people in each class so you can borrow their notes if you miss class. Another part of making a strong start is giving some thought to those end-of-semester papers and projects, even if December or May seems incredibly far away. It takes additional energy to do some early research in the library, and it takes some initiative to discuss a term paper idea early on with a professor, but getting off to a quick start has important benefits. You space out your work, for one thing, so that you don't face a marathon week of putting together a project or paper. And you relieve the psychological pressure you feel when you put off tasks until the job seems overwhelming.

A third key to success in college is to brush up on-or learn-study skills. Study skills include knowing how to take class notes; how to read texts skilfully by previewing, marking, and taking notes on them; and how to study for objective or essay exams. Without these vital skills, the time you spend attending class and studying may be of little help in earning a good grade. Just as you have to learn new skills on the job, you have to learn the skills needed to do well in college. Some students know these skills by the time they arrive on a college campus-they may have been taught them in high school or "picked them up" on their own. Other students slide by in high school without knowing these skills and, because they have grade twelve or an OAC, feel they are equipped for college. They aren't. College lectures cover more information, and with more sophistication, than high school lectures. College textbooks are harder to read; they bristle with dozens of new terms and present difficult theories and concepts. College test are tougher, and they are graded according to higher standards. Only a firm grasp of study skills will enable you to survive, and succeed, in this setting. If you feel that your study skills are weak, get help immediately. Most colleges have study-skills workshops or courses, so take advantage of them. Campus learning or tutoring centres often have guides to college study skills free for the asking. And campus bookstores carry many books that can help you learn and practice essential study and reading skills.

A final key to college success is learning the art of concentration. This ability seems to get more difficult every year; television rarely challenges its viewers to watch anything that requires concentration or to give a subject more than ten minutes' worth of attention at a time. And much of the reading we do in daily life requires less concentration than ever; newspapers specialize in brief stories with limited vocabularies and many colour pictures; books on the best-seller list are filled with cartoons, jokes and diagrams of exercise techniques. Switching from this kind of mental fluff to the intense concentration needed to study college material is indeed a challenge.

You can take several steps to improve your concentration. If your ability to concentrate is "flabby," these moves will get you into shape. First, have a positive attitude towards studying. No matter how unattractive your task seems, think of it as a means to a goal that is important to you-getting a college degree. Next, keep yourself in good physical shape. Exhaustion or illness effectively shuts down your ability to concentrate. Also, create a good study environment. Have a place in your dorm room, apartment, or house where you keep all your class-related materials and where you have the basics for a productive study session: a good light, paper, pens, your computer, a calculator, and so on. You will save yourself time if your setting is well-equipped, and your concentration will not be interrupted because you have to find a note pad. Before you begin to study, jot down a brief list of goals for the study session. For example, you might write: "(1) Read Chapter 10 in soc., (2) Memorize definitions for chemistry, (3) Rough draft of English essay." Having specific, doable goals can make the session less intimidating. Finally, keep control of your ability to concentrate by noticing when your mind wanders and the conscious effort needed to pull it back. This can be done as simply as making a checkmark with a pencil whenever you find your mind losing concentration. The deliberate effort to begin concentrating again should strengthen your ability and make concentration for longer periods possible.

Knowing how to take control of your time, making a strong start at the beginning of each semester, practising study skills, and concentrating effectively are the four keys to success in school. If you make the effort to use these keys, you will open the door to the kind of life you want.

Source: Sentence Skills: A Workbook for Writers
By: John Langan and Sharon Winstanley
ironhawk893   
Mar 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / Keys To College Success Summary Writing Assignment [8]

That's what is being asked of me and like i stated, I have never done one of these summarys before and I have no idea how to even start off. I have been checking different websites to try and find examples so I can get a better idea but have not yet found anything thats why I am asking for help here. I did put up the point forms of what is to be expected each section is marked separately the most marks 14 being in the body and it's out of 30. Once I finish this then I have to take the test where I have 1 1/2 hours to complete another of these so I need to get a good grasp of this.
ironhawk893   
Mar 12, 2011
Writing Feedback / Keys To College Success Summary Writing Assignment [8]

Yes I understand that part of it how it needs to be laid out but what I don't understand is how to make the topic sentence and how to start this off. Once I get started on writing something I can usually go with it but always have issues starting it. Do you know of any sources that I can look up and find a example that shows the passage and then the summary of that passage. That is what i need to help me once I get a visual of what I need to do I don't think i will have a problem. Thanks for your help.
ironhawk893   
Mar 13, 2011
Writing Feedback / Keys To College Success Summary Writing Assignment [8]

That does help out alot beginning to understand it quite a bit more now thanks. Maybe once I get it done I will post it to you and see what you think.
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