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Posts by alaba2812
Joined: Feb 26, 2011
Last Post: May 21, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 6  
From: United Kingdom (Great Britain)

Displayed posts: 8
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alaba2812   
Feb 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / Essay about the believe of people on child education - feedback [6]

Some people believe educating children rather than forcing them to work, could yield enormous benefits for developing nations. Firstly, educating children yields substantial revenue to the economy of developing nations through tax payments. For instance, children who receive early childhood education usually do better in school, progress into higher institutions, graduate with good degrees, and in turn get better jobs. These children, now of the working class, spend their wages and pay certain percentage as tax. However, children who were forced to work at their tender age, often end up as inferior entrepreneurs or apprentices. These people are often tax defaulters: making the government loose much due revenue. Furthermore, child education in developing countries is a preferred option by some people. They believe that, there will be more professionalism and transparency in the management of the nation's resources unlike when it is being governed by people who were deprived from preliminary education and only cares about their well-being. To sum up, educating children, rather than subjecting them to child labour, empowers developing nations and improves their income strength.
alaba2812   
Feb 26, 2011
Writing Feedback / Essay about the believe of people on child education - feedback [6]

This is 10% of my module this term, so please can anyone help me spot any of the following and insert the correct thing where necessary:1. Grammatical error 2. Punctuation error 3. Word choice error 4. Wrong word order 5. Sentence structure 6. Subject and verb agreement error (wrong pluralization) 7. Redundant/irrelevant words. And if it requires you to rephrase any part of the paragraph note the word count(150-175 words)
alaba2812   
Feb 26, 2011
Undergraduate / A degree from the School of Engineering at Virginia Polytechnic and State University [6]

I hope you are not presenting this script the way it is written here, because your essay is not formal enough, i mean, you should abstain from the use of abbreviated words like the 'VT' or word contraction like 'I'm' and 'strength's'. Besides, I think there should be a comma after 'In my future'. Nevertheless, its great. :)
alaba2812   
Feb 26, 2011
Scholarship / "to give students a similar opportunity" - What would this scholarship mean to you? [2]

jamileigh
I suggest that, wherever you have used ''would'' should be corrected to will, because 'will' is used with promises or voluntary actions that take place in the future and also to make predictions about the future. Using the past of the modal verb makes the whole essay awkward. Then I guess you should also rephrase part of your sentence to make it more formal. :)
alaba2812   
May 18, 2011
Research Papers / Pharmaceutical companies conduct clinical trials in developing countries - topic? [4]

It is obvious that every new drug product designed for human use must ultimately be tested on humans however, it is now of

growing concern that large pharmaceutical companies conduct their clinical trials in developing countries due to the slack

socio-economic policies. Is this an insinuation that superiority discrimination still exists among different races? So BELOW is

the topic I thought of writing on for this research. Any adjustment will be appreciated cos I sense some flaws in the

latter part of the topic, but I can't think of any better way of constructing it.

''AN INVESTIGATION INTO PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES CONDUCTING CLINICAL TRIALS IN LESS DEVELOPED COUNTRIES.WHY HAS THIS BECOME A GROWING CONCERN?''

Thanks a lot.
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