Writing Feedback / Families to pay taxes that support universal education? [2]

Hi everyone, I'm about to take the ielts. So could you please give me some review? Thanks.

Families who do not send their children to government-financed schools should not be required o pay taxes that support universal education.

In general, an average person has to pay a large portion of his income in many kinds of taxes. The question that whether or not families who do not send their children to public- financed schools are obligated to pay taxes that support universal education is a controversial one. Whereas many people believe that such families have right to do not pay taxes that don't benefits themselves, many people disagree. From my perspective, each side has its advantages and this issue is needed to be scrutinized more carefully.

On one hand, people who argue that we should not pay taxes that do not benefit ourselves think that it is unfair to give money to the government to spend on something that doesn't affect us at all. The most obvious example of this argument is that government spending on corporate securities. While every citizen must extract a fraction of his payroll to support the national budget, not every one of us benefits from such government investment. Profits from those expenditures run into state companies, which are executed by government officials. These situations are especially prominent in many typical central planning economies such as China or Vietnam.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that much government spending does lucrative impact on our society and the economy. Expenditure on such aspect as national defense, transfer payment or public education benefits us all. Let consider an example, suppose that government is considering building a dam to prevent cyclical floods in one riverside area. If everyone in the area argues that he does not need this dam and refuses to pay the contribution, the dam cannot be completed. The following consequences are much more damaging if flood comes than paying just a little amount of money.

In summary, I think that families should pay the taxes that support education even though they don't send their children to public schools. Universal education helps to alleviate illiteracy, enhances further education and research, which is profitable to everyone. Imagine that if temporary students from poor families have their chances to study, they can play crucial roles in helping our country better. Without contribution from the whole society, government cannot build those schools and therefore will waste tremendous human resources.

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Writing Feedback / Death penalty or a life in prison for murderers? [4]

Please help me with this essay. Thanks.

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilty of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The question that whether or not our society should pursue death penalty is currently well prominent among activists. Whereas a growing number of people believe that death practice is also a form of committing murder, many people disagree with such idea. From my perspective, each side of the argument has their own reasons and this issue still needs more careful scrutiny in order to be assessed adequately.

On one hand, modern philanthropists all over the world are denouncing death penalty as a cruel and brutal punishment. They argue that when criminals actually committed to a crime, it is essential for judges to consider all the reasons behind. As a matter of fact, in most cases of homicide, the murderer is just a certain consequence of all of his surrounding factors, including poor education, maintaining poverty, or even family pressure. Moreover, if we convict someone to death, the final outcome is that there is another person to be dead, and the issue is still unsolved.

On the other hand, the majority of our society approve that death penalty is an effective way to curb the current killing situation. When people face with a decision to kill someone, they must know that there is a death sentence waiting for them. This approach helps to educate and threaten future criminals of a severe responsibility. At this moment, many countries, ranging from highly developed nations, such as the US, to developing countries, for instance, Vietnam, are applying this death penalty to murderers.

In conclusion, my opinion is that death penalty seems to be more reasonable and appropriate. In particular, in countries where criminals are plentiful, this approach is able to provide a useful tool to help settle the circumstance.

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Writing Feedback / Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause and 1 solution [4]

Please help me to correct this IELTS essay. Thank in advance.

More and more people are relying on the private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problems overreliance on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution.

Accompanying with the continuous development of technology are the surprising advancements in the way people commute. Albeit the appearances of new, more modern and comfortable of high speed trains, huge Jumbo Jets have contributed significantly to the increasing diversity of transportation, there still are a large number of people who choose private cars as their main vehicle. As a result, our society is threatened by some negative impacts of this decision.

First and foremost, traffic jam is a ubiquitous problem, not only in developing cities where the infrastructure is sub-standard, but also in highly modern cities, such as New York or London. The excessive growth of population, in addition to the stagnant investment on enhancement of roads and highways system, is the main reason why traffic jam's situation is currently so scary and horrible. If everyone persists to drive, this circumstance will be even worse.

Additionally, driving a car might become more burdensome than ever, peculiarly in this time when petroleum price is racing up day by day. World warfare, unrests in the Middle East, natural disasters or so on are responsible for this critical emergence. Simultaneously, economy instability is also destroying our income and rendering real inflation, making us lose even more wages and revenue.

To alleviate the consequences provoked by overwhelming driving, the most obvious solutions are to upgrade the public transportation system, and to encourage our people to give up their cars. Congestion will be fundamentally addressed and the expenses of travelling will be dramatically reduced. Alternatively, moving to places near working offices, so that we can walk or ride a bike is also an effective method.

In a nutshell, if too many cars are exploited, our society will face plenty obstacles. The necessary to solve them properly is always pivotal.

Undergraduate / 'I always feel I need to do more' - Personal statement UGRAD program [NEW]

Personal Statement
When I started writing this personal statement is also the time when I could hold back and take some time to think about myself and all of my memories and values hitherto. The truth is it's never simple to define "Who am I?" in just hundreds of words; and trying to do so is very shallow and immature. Nevertheless, the question "What do I want to do?" might seem a bit easier for me to answer because it has always been lying in the corner of my mind.

I often look at my elderly parents, thinking of how they had struggled to earn money to support our family, especially at difficult times. Life was never easy for us because it used to be really hard for my father to find a stable job. Any way, they never complaint a word, and it even makes me sadder, sometimes like broken heart when I can notice fatigue in their eyes. When I decided to study finance in the National Economics University, I thought about them, and dreamt of finding a good job with high salary.

Subsequently, getting deeper in the world of finance, I became to comprehend the importance of an effective financial system to the economy and how it can possibly influence every family in the country. Then I realize that with proper uses of financial knowledge, I can not only benefit myself and my family, but also serve for the well-being of other people and the society.

As I have been actively participating in plenty of Youth Union activities in recent years, I spent most of my time with numerous younger students with different feelings, motivations and desires; but the apparent similarity among them is that they really aspire to contribute their power and intelligence to the construction of our country. Everyday, I listen to them and everyday, I try to find out a way to help. I also often thought about my future for the next five years, and the next ten years. I wondered what I would become and what I really need to do.

Then some ideas flashed into my mind. "Maybe an organization providing a little money, inspiration and knowledge for the youth" is what I need. In my dreams, I dreamt of a strong, independent and influential endowment fund for Vietnamese universities, like that of Harvard University. At first I would need some extra sponsors, and attract students to join in, then when my fund becomes larger and more efficient, it can be running on it own. Running such an organization would both earn money for myself, and, above all, benefit other students.

However, it wouldn't be straightforward. More complex demand would appear and require me of in-depth knowledge and expertise to solve. I asked myself "How could I deal with all of these obstacles only with the things I have been supplied at my university?"

Going to the US will open the whole new horizon for me as the US has the best education system in the world. Such opportunity will not only support me with applicable practices, to which I cannot approach in Vietnam, but also expose me to an international environment so that I will simultaneously be able to learn about various cultures and make many new friends, thus widening both my knowledge and networks. Therefore, studying in the US would be an ideal condition for me to achieve my plan.

When I first read about the UGRAD program last year, I knew that this is the opportunity of the lifetime to realize everything I have ever wanted. Would I capture it, or just let it slip? The answer seems too obvious for me.

When I look at those famous people in the world of finance, like Warren Buffett or Benjamin Graham, and see how inspirational they are to the world young generations, I always feel I need to do more. I am confident that with all precious knowledge gained from the UGRAD program, I can devote myself more effectively in the future and make my dreams come true.

Hanoi, October 20, 2011