Undergraduate / I'm writing an essay to show unique qualities to myself. How to make it interesting? [6]

my vocabulary is not TIME's magazine level and I don't really know how to make my essay THAT interesting
any advice?

I grew up, for the past 17 years, in a family which is financially stable, more or less. Fortunately for me, I have the chance to go further in terms of education. My family owns a pipe fitting company. At my younger ages I discover and learn new things by just visiting there and observing how the systems worked. This is why applying for material engineering in University of Michigan suits me the best.

Chemistry and Physics interest me in a lot of ways and it helps me to advance and understand deeply those subjects. No matter how hard they are, they never stop me to dig in more and more. I have always based my studies on curiosity. It never occurred to me to stop asking and learn more whenever I am given a new mystery especially at school. I have always been competitive since I was a kid. This nature is what has caused me to never accept the fact that I lost. I always have to win things academically or even just a in games. I am optimistic that these aspects will help me when I explore engineering, in particular, material engineering.

Outgoing nature has always been in my blood. This quality that I discovered within myself is actually helping me to be socially active. I strongly believe that connection is also an important essence to be successful. My creativity leads me to ideas that are out of the box. In material engineering, creating new things that would be useful for the society is the main goal. By having such creativity, I am confident I will do great choosing this major.

Material engineering will enhance me in many ways. It helps me to learn about creating new useful things. My determination is to try establishing many ways to improve today's inventions to become more efficient. Being a part of a study like material engineering is the best way to improve the world to be a better place.

Undergraduate / "An Inspiring Ninja" - Influential historical figure - Common app #4 [NEW]

"Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure, or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence."

i understand that many people choose some great and famous historical figure. Im trying to make a different essay and saying that an animated figure is the one who influence me the most but i'm not sure that this essay will look smart. im not trying to be funny. Please help me! really need some :(

An Inspiring Ninja
It felt like the end of the world when I received my chemistry final year test back when I was a junior. It was a mini horror story. That time I thought that I was far from qualified of continuing this Cambridge program, "A" Level. Yes, I did the best I could. I even sacrificed 6 hours per week in either extra classes or a "quality time" with tutors. "A" Level was not the first option to be taken in Indonesia. Indonesia had its own curriculum. I am not trying to be bias but I am pretty sure that "A" Level is much challenging and harder. For a lot of time I regretted for choosing to take this alternative yet unfamiliar pathway as an Indonesian student .

Every time I fail in certain tests I always remind myself that I am not stupid, it is just that I was not trying hard enough. There were times that I would just cry feeling so desperate and afraid but I knew that I always have to fail and perspire in order to gain experiences and succeed at the end. Many historical figures which are recognizable showed me this kind of attitude, for example Martin Luther King, Winston Churcill, Albert Einstein and many more. I respect these people but frankly, the most inspiring character that taught me to never give up is Naruto.

It may seem so preposterous to base my life motto to a phenomenal character from a Japanese anime series. At first I thought that "Naruto" was just a childish show covering the live of a hyperactive ninja but no, it was rather inspirational. "I won't run away. I will never give up! This is my ninja way" that is one line that always echoes in my head whenever I had difficulties in my studies - let's just leave out the ninja part. It was so odd to find out that my role model is an animated ninja. He related to me the most rather than those famous figures.

That horrible final year test made me so down. I literally cry on my bed like a little boy who dropped his ice cream. My parents assumed that I got into a fight with someone at school but when I told them the real reason, I could see real disappointment pasted on their faces. Unexpectedly my 6-year-old brother came to my room and dragged me out to the living room. He told me that watching "Naruto" will make me feel better. I doubted that but however I still followed his little steps towards the DVD player. It was still clear in my mind that that one episode was about Naruto when he had to the most ridiculously hard test in order to pursue a higher "ninja rank".

It was so obvious that Naruto was incapable of doing that written test at all. He left the paper totally blank. What made Naruto differs from me was that he was not afraid to be wrong and fail, I, on the other hand was a total perfectionist. Failing really hurts my pride. It was then revealed that Naruto made it to the next step because he was willing to take a big risk that might effect his position as a ninja for life. It was his courageous act that made me decide to let him be my role model.

I am not saying that I instantly love failing on tests but I know that making mistakes is something that needs to be repaired in the future and something that I need to get over with. I tried to change my studying habits afterwards instead of mourning. I am not a shame to say that a cartoon character is my ultimate role model. After all, Naruto taught me to improve myself in terms of maturity, studies and mostly positive attitude that is craving to strive. Now here I am ready as ever to ace my "A" Level examinations.