Writing Feedback / GMAT essay--whether offensive words and behavior should be censored [NEW]

"In some countries, television and radio programs are carefully censored for offensive language and behavior. In other countries, there is little or no censorship." In your view, to what extent should government or any other group be able to censor television or radio programs? Explain, giving relevant reasons and/or examples to support your position.

ith people's bottom line of tolerance to pornography and violence having been improved, TV programs contain more and more pornographic, violent content and offensive words and behavior which are motivated by interest and benefit. These offensive words and behavior can be tremendously harmful, especially to juvenile and women. Thus, the mandatory censorship from government will be necessary.

Offensive words and behavior can be badly effective on children. We cannot ignore the fact that TV programs and internet are so widely popularized that almost everyone, including children, can easily have access to them, and that our parents are getting busier and busier for living so that they do not have extra time to choose or regular kids' recreational contends, like TV programs. As a consequence, children are now exposed to all kinds of obscene and offensive words and behavior. It is dangerous because children and teenagers are in the stage of formatting their life value and these unhealthy words and behavior can be the original and direct source to twist their immature values. An ironic example is that many children and teenagers now regard some criminals as hero as they are depicted brave enough to break the laws and fight with police in gunfire.

Women, as a vulnerable group, are also the victims of offensive and obscene words and behavior. Although, since women's liberation movement, women in many aspects are as equal as men, women still have not fulfilled the totally equivalent both in social status and family life. The pictures that women are raped are frequently designed in TV programs. Also in the TV, women are always the ones supposed to make sacrifice to take the obligation of giving birth to babies and do housework. However, in the real word, many people copy the behavior performed in the TV, and regard all the sick behaviors as granted. These all reflect that, in some degree, the offensive words and behavior hurt women's social status and dignity.

Those who strongly critic to the censorship of obscene and offensive words and behavior might point out that censorship may prohibit people's rights to express ideas freely. China is a typical example. Unlike the users in America, the citizens in China are restrained to visit the website censored, hence, websites especially some social network websites tolerant to offensive words and videos like Facebook, U-Tube are not available to the public. However, from the perspective of culture, I do support China's censorship policy. In my view, due to the culture confliction, the open atmosphere is not so suitable for Chinese teenagers today. It is a process for a totally acceptation of another culture especially the relatively over-opened western culture.

In sum, people have not clearly cognized the potential harm of offensive words and behavior towards children, women and even the whole society. However, these words and behavior most frequently spreading by TV and internet are twisting many people's life style and values without people's realization. Dangerous contends deserved to be emphasized. Hence, enforced censoring the offensive words and behavior by governments will be necessary and beneficial to the whole society in our best interest.

Writing Feedback / TOEFL- 'efforts are just in vain' - best way to improve the quality of education [NEW]

Money can be a very powerful motivation for people's efficiency. It is common sense or a convention accepted by most of people, no matter in which industry or in which country. However, when it comes to the improvement in quality of education, money is only one of the several motivations and some other factors, such as the education system and a teacher's own academic skills, in my view, weigh much heavier than salaries.

One factor that plays a core role in education quality is a teacher's own teaching skills. It is ironic that many teachers are not qualified for their job. Although most teachers in the modern education system get diplomas in education and are trained in specialized courses, many of them just do not know how to apply the knowledge to their teaching process. That is, teachers might know how to do research and publish papers. Nevertheless, they have great difficulty in making the knowledge easy to learn.

Another remarkable factor that contributes to the quality of education is the whole education system. People who concern about education may notice that nowadays, there are an increasing number of students, including middle school students, high school students, undergraduate, and even some graduated students, competing to go abroad especially America and England for further study. One cornerstone reason is that they are attracted by the cutting-edge education in those countries. However, what makes those counties like America and England so advanced in education when compared to other countries? The most direct answer is the education system. For example, the education system in America provides a much more inviting environment for new ideas and theories that encourage and inspire students to keep curiosity and explore the unknown world and knowledge.

Even though people who advocate improve the quality of education by increasing teachers' salaries may point out that with a higher salaries, teachers not only might be more concentrated on the their jobs but not on considering changing career, but also may to the largest extent to be motivated, the two reasons that mentioned above are the most emergent ones. If we cannot have good proposals to solve these two problems first, no matter how much salaries are improved, all other efforts are just in vain.