Undergraduate / "Perspective: the old Mark still existed" - ApplyTexas Topic A [5]

Prompt: Write an essay about someone who has made an impact in your life.

"Perspective"

Children are the epitome of innocence, so much that they require role models to influence their lives, for better or for worse. For as long as I can remember, the one person I could always look up to was my cousin Mark. He always seemed like the impeccable example of a person: a straight-A student, an athlete, and a beloved son. So when this angel fell from grace, my feet were swept from under me. John Steinbeck couldn't have said it any better: "When a child first catches adults out, his world falls into a panic desolation."

On Halloween night of 2001, the nightmares that would haunt our family began with a single phone call from the emergency room. I can distinctly recall the sterile odor of the hospital room, the monotonous beep of the status monitor, and the sight of Mark lying in bed, a tube in his mouth and blood drained from his face. He had just gotten his stomach pumped from an accidental drug overdose. My eight year-old brain could not comprehend what was happening right in front of me. The flawless image of my cousin, my hero, was quickly fading from my memory with the image of his unresponsive body taking its place.

For the next two years, Mark experienced a seemingly interminable cycle of rehabilitation programs and relapses. Every time I saw him sober and healthy, he made a conscious effort to cheer me up about his disease, about how he was getting better; I could tell he was trying to convince himself more than me. In his eyes, I could see every single twinge of anguish that he faced in his struggle towards sobriety. The last time Mark and I had a decent conversation, the last "good cycle" he had, he told me something which convinced me that the Mark I knew - the man who mentored me from infancy up - still existed within his withered body. Unfortunately, that version of Mark failed to prevail; he passed away from an alcohol-drug overdose about two months later.

It is simultaneously amazing and calamitous how much the death of a loved one can impact the workings of someone's life. Standing over Mark's lifeless body at his funeral, I forced myself to make choices about how I would lead my life, to learn from the mistakes that led to my cousin's untimely death. When adults advise me to stay away from all these harmful substances, I confidently tell them not to worry because I made that choice before my school even had the chance to properly teach me about alcohol and drugs. I am determined to avoid the trap that ensnared Mark and caused him so much agony amid short periods of felicity and sobriety.

Most importantly, Mark himself taught me to be realistic about the world around me and the life I will eventually lead. In the final moments of our conversation, the moments that convinced me that the old Mark still existed, he remarked five words that I live my life through: "Perspective. It's all about perspective." At the time, his utterance confounded me; now I realize the wisdom that surrounded his words. Horrible things happen to great people everyday; it is how these people perceive and how they let these events affect their lives that truly matters.

Is this essay too short? Its about 550 words. Please help me with any advice if you can :) Thanks!

Undergraduate / Voter Participation - ApplyTexas important issue [3]

Choose an issue of importance to you - the issue could be personal, local, political, school-related, or international in scope - and write an essay in which you explain the significance of this essay to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

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Living in the country that originated modern democracy, I and all other Americans should ideally feel that our views and beliefs are being represented in government, regardless of which view encompasses greater representation. Thus it is ironic that political scientists state the biggest problem in the present system of government is its unequal representation of the diverse American population. Although government corruption remains as the popular scapegoat in regards to representative inequality, the prominent issue and cause is the pattern of decreasing voter participation in the elections.

Voter turnout has notably decreased across all demographic groups since 1950, but embarrassingly enough, it turns out that my generation symbolizes the age group with the least voter participation. Considering the fact that my generation and all other subsequent generations represent the future of American government, the lack of political participation may just as well serve as a vision of a United States much less democratic than its original leaders intended. With the nation still teeming with bigotry and discrimination, isn't it common sense that we, as young Americans, need to fulfill our civic duty by voicing our opinions on important issues through voting no matter how distinct our beliefs are?

Frighteningly enough, the negative aspects our system of government was designed to repel have experienced a resurgence, namely inequality and discrimination. In the 2008 elections, a law named Proposition 8 was passed in California that embodied discrimination, banning the legalization of same-sex marriage in the state effective immediately after the polls were closed. In an instant, same-sex couples in the state of California lost their recently gained right to marry and to be regarded in equal stature compared with heterosexual couples. I feel it is reasonable to assume that if more young voters participated in the polls, this law would never have come to fruition, considering the fact that liberal views tend to prevail in the younger generations. Although the law was repealed last year in court, marriage equality remains outlawed in the state. Furthermore, Proposition 8 still represents a massive blow to the credibility of American government because any government that legalizes discrimination and inequality breeds a dangerous precedent that will haunt its younger generations.

Even more appalling than the previous example are laws that urge discrimination against illegal immigrants and permits law enforcement agencies to openly practice racial profiling. Some of the "Stop and Identify" bills that numerous states have already imposed were passed through referendum. However, ballots concerning legislation frequently show low voter turnout which implies that even less young Americans voted on the bill. As an American who experiences the hindrances caused by the recent state of the economy, I understand why some policymakers regard these laws as necessary to foster job creation for its citizens and to stabilize the economy. Regardless, I still have a valid reason to fear these "Stop and Identify" laws; they could lead to widespread discrimination against minorities and are disconcertingly reminiscent of witch hunts. These measures may improve the recent stature of the economy, but if in the long run they affect my ability to live my life as freely as any other American, they deserve no role in the government.

I am currently a permanent resident and seventeen years old, but I plan to register for citizenship by the end of the year and subsequently register to vote. My voice may be only one of 300 million in the country yet it needs to be represented. Inequality and discrimination are severely antiquated and have no place in the government; if I have the capability to prevent legal prejudice, there is no doubt in my mind that I will use this ability.

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I just want to know if I answered the question correctly, if I made an error in essay format, or if I made any grammatical errors. Thank you in advance!