Writing Feedback / 'we should live a life of better quality'; high-paying with long working hours or not? [3]

In our daily life, so many problems are worth considering (to be considered )carefully. As what has been come up with, when it comes to the job choosing, what is your choice? Some people hold the view that it is better to have freedom than better salary,while the others believe that only if we have a better salary can we have a life of better quality, including time arrangement. With all aspects carefully considered, I think a job with short working hours would be a better choice.

Of course, I indeed need a job that will provide my family with financial security, which requires continuous hard work. However, if I have a chance to choose, I would rather be less well paid but with more time to arrange.

Nowadays there is a growing awareness that we should live a life of better quality (have a life with better quality ), which doesn't only mean how much you make (earn ) but whether you really are happy. As for me,the most important things in my life are my family and friends,and that's the (they are as a )motivation that make me work hard and earn money.A million dollars in the bank doesn't make any sense if I cannot spend time with them.

Also,comparing to a life with a lot of rush and pressure,I prefer to have a easier life with more freedom.Money is important,but we are the ones that take charge of the situation.It would be worth nothing if I cannot (couldnt )(second conditional) have a life that I want but just work as a robot with a lot of money.

Last but not least ,always working in the long term doesn't help to keep us in a good health.In fact,that's where so many health problems come from.It is a small issue at first,but if we don't take good care of it,it will become serious and eventually turn into a disease.At that time,we don't (wont ) have the chance to regret.And the money we've make would be just a scarcism .

Taking all the factors mentioned above into consideration,a low-paying job with shorter hours would be more reasonably treated as a wiser choice.

Hi celi,this is a very good essay and i hope you to be successfull in TOEFL test.But remember if your essay is formal,you must write in indirect form and never use I .

Undergraduate / 'I spent one month living in the street' - admission ucf [5]

I always remember this day, Tuesday January 12, 2010, as if it was yesterday. It was started like an ordinary day . the smile was on my face as usual , while going to school and everything was perfect until the moment the ground started to tremble like a table with missing leg. The screaming of the neighbors intensified and in a few second families and friends were died. After this day my life had never been the same. I spent one month living in the street, which became the place where I ate, played and cried for those who were deceased. At a given time I even thought it was the end of the world. Consequently my mother sent me to my aunt in the United States to continue my studies at school. Was this a good solution? Yes, I am optimist,however I admit that I have confronted with many obstacles. my first months were not free from any stress , I had to get used to live away from my parent and familiarize myself with the new language and on the other hand , I had to make new friends and adapt with the school. However, the benefit worth the cost; coming here helped me to grow, I realized that the things whichwere important for me ; a large house, money, jewels and clothes, were only vanity; and now the most important thing in my life is my relation with my family. I have also started to talk to people who explain to me that education is the key for success in the life. for this reason , I worked three times as much harder in school. There is a purpose for everything that happen in life, I had never believed that struggle makes someone stronger until this earthquake, it was a difficult and dramatic moment, however it taught me how to be a strong and courageous man.

Writing Feedback / story: rope [4]

The story tells about a mountain climber,who wanted to climb the highest mountain.
He began his adventure after many years of experience ,but since he wanted the success just for himself,he decided to climb the mountain alone.

His climbing was going well and everything was ok till the very night that the mishap took place.
That night the moon and the stars were covered by the clouds and the man could not see anything .
As he was climbing only a few feet away from the top of the mountain ,he slipped and fell down .
When he was falling with swift speed,the climber could not see anything but black spots, and he went down.
During the falling , all of the good and bad scenes of his life came to his mind.He was thinking about how death was approaching .

All of a sudden he felt the rope was tied to his waist and kept him tightly.His body was hanging in the air and only the rope was holding him.

In that moment of being still , he had no other choice but to scream"Help me God"
Suddenly a deep voice came from the sky and said "What do you want me to do?"
"Save me God"
"Do you really think I can help u?"
"Of course I believe you can"
"Then cut the rope which is \ is tied to your waist"
There was a moment of silence and the man decided to hold on the rope with all his strength.
The next day the climber was found dead and frozen,his body was hanging down from the rope and his hands was holding the rope only Three feet away from the ground!