Undergraduate / 'I had every materialistic thing' - personal information college essay [2]

Prompt:
There may be personal information that you want considered as part of your admissions application. Write an essay describing that information. You might include exceptional hardships, challenges, or opportunities that have shaped or impacted your abilities or academic credentials, personal responsibilities, exceptional achievements or talents, educational goals, or ways in which you might contribute to an institution committed to creating a diverse learning environment.

is my essay appropriate for this topic? What should i change

As a child I had every materialistic thing I could think of, but the one thing I really wanted was a Dad. My dad walked out on me when I was just seven, it's been ten years since I last saw him. His absence has really affected me in my personality and with the choices I make. I have never felt good enough and have always felt like an outcast. Sometime around Junior High I became lost and started to starve myself. Anorexia is an eating disorder that can literally cause a person to self destruct. Striving to be noticed and searching for happiness, I just wanted to be skinny and perfect. All I want to be is accepted by people and not looked over or ignored. I always had the idea in my mind being skinny meant perfection. If I was thin I would have it all, the boyfriend, the friends, and the happiness. At age thirteen I weighted fifty-seven pounds, I got to fifty-four and of course that wasn't good enough. That's the illness, you will never be happy with your weight. In High School I wanted my collarbones and hip bones to show more. I'd feel my hip bones to make sure they were out. If not, I had to starve myself more. I lost my period until I was fifteen. I loved that. It meant I wasn't healthy, and I didn't want to be healthy. After a while I started to eat again, and that's when the cutting kicked in. The more I couldn't control my eating, the more I cut myself. I wanted to look at my scars and be like, "See what you did? You ate too much", it wasn't about the food. It was an emotional problem. I wanted it to bleed, I wanted it to hurt, but I didn't want to kill myself. It was about feeling pain so I could feel bad, cry and let it out. After the deed was done I always felt satisfied, like I had done the right thing. When I was sixteen, I read an article in a magazine about a model that was anorexic and bulimic and cut herself. I burst into tears. I saw myself. The article gave me hope. My sister was the first person to whom I admitted what was going on. I was put into treatment over the summer and gained fifteen pounds. Now I am seventeen and weigh ninety-two pounds. I know that I am not perfect and that I still have to gain weight. It is a battle I fight every day. It is a demon inside of me, torturing and destroying me.

Undergraduate / 'dealing with my mom's Alzheimer's' (someone influantial) - college essay [2]

Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

how is it? what should i change? is it relevant to the topic?

Every weekend I go visit my mom. When I enter the facility where she stays now that her Alzheimer's is difficult to deal with, my eyes often wander to thepicture of my mom and my siblings. Just six months ago, my mother was diagnosed with stage 6 of Alzheimer's. When I look at her wandering around her room, nervous and disoriented, it's hard not to dwell on the "what if's": what if there was a cure? What if she has been diagnosed sooner? What if I still had the chance to ask all those questions that choke me up when I see her in the nursery?

Ironically, through this difficult time in my life my mom has given me a chance to face reality head-on. Before, when everything was normal, my relationship with her was warm but very tense. She had strong opinions about my hairstyle, clothes, friends, and--above everything else--my academic performance. When I was not sitting at my desk in my room, she invariably asked me why I had nothing to do and told me I should not procrastinate. She stressed that if I missed my teenage years of studying, I would regret it later. She didn't like me going out with my friends, so I often ended up staying at home--I was never allowed to sleep over at other students' homes. My high school memories consist of going to school and coming back home. I was confused by my parents' overprotective attitude, because they emphasized independence yet never actually gave me a chance to be independent.

She worried incessantly about whether I would ever get into college, and she often made me feel as if she would never accept my choices. Rather than standing up for myself, I simply assumed that if I studied hard, she would no longer be disappointed in me. Although I tried hard, I never seemed to get it quite right; she was never satisfied with everything I did. As if that weren't enough, she frequently compared me to my over-achieving older sister, asking me why I couldn't be more like her. I must admit that at times I even questioned whether my mom really loved me. After all, she never expressed admiration for what I did, and my attempts to impress her were never good enough. In retrospect, I don't think I fully understood what she was trying to tell me.

These days, when I come home to an empty house, it strikes me just how dependent on my parents' care and support I have been so far. Now that my mom is in not home and my dad is always working, I see why she was always so hard on me. I understand that she had a big heart, even though she didn't always let it show; she was trying to steer me in the right direction, emphasizing the need to develop independence and personal strength. She was trying to help me see the world with my own eyes, to make my own judgments and decide for myself what I would eventually become. When my mom was still healthy, I took all of her advice the wrong way. I should not have worried so much about pleasing my parents, after all, their only expectation of me, is that I be myself.

Strangely, dealing with my mom's Alzheimer's has made me believe that I can tackle just about any challenge. Most importantly, I am more enthusiastic about what the future hold for me than ever before. In embarking on my college career, I will be carrying with me my mother's last gift and greatest legacy: a new desire to live in the present and the confidence to handle whatever the future might bring.