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Posts by frankfink
Joined: Oct 22, 2011
Last Post: Nov 24, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 2  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 4
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frankfink   
Oct 29, 2011
Undergraduate / "Working on a campaign and experiencing business" --Georgetown McDonough School Essay [2]

This a draft of my essay for the Gtown business school, any constructive criticism and/or edits would be greatly appreciated! Thank you to everyone in advance!

Briefly describe the factors that have influenced your interest in studying business. (McDonough School)

The business world is constantly fast-paced and unpredictable. While this is a burden and a drawback to some, it is in this sort of environment that I function most productively. Whether it be the last few lines of a calculus problem or the resolving notes of a tune on the piano, I find it consistently impossible for me to leave a problem unanswered. Our country, now more than ever, has many unanswered questions that lie ahead for it in the near future, and good business is most always at the heart of those unfound solutions.

I remember not much more than a year ago when I was working under my mother's congressional campaign manager. I had the normal tasks of an intern: scheduling meetings, taking notes, soliciting funds, and the like. However, I wanted to push myself to do more, to come up with the ideas that would help the campaign reach more voters and leave greater lasting impact. We aptly referred to those ideas as the "monkey-makers." It was never my job to create a website and Facebook page for the campaign, nor was it my given duty to hike up and down every row of cars in every San Diego parking lot placing flyers underneath windshield wipers. These were simply my ideas, and when I think up an idea that I believe to have some value, I do anything in my power to put it to the test. This was the spirit I kept with me every morning I spent knocking door-to-door or making calls to voters.

I've been called a perfectionist, certainly, and I can accept this aspect of my personality in most cases. However, it is not the reasoning behind my passion for business. The beauty of working in this field, in my opinion, would be the ability to see the application and effects my work and my ideas in the real world, effectively bringing about successful change in some of the most trying times our country has ever seen. I believe that, with education from Georgetown and experience from Washington D.C., one of the world's most important cities of business, I could fulfill my desire to think of the unthought of, test the untested, and solve the unsolved.
frankfink   
Nov 24, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Ruby Hills' -UC Essay 1 [2]

(+)
I think you have a great topic for your essay. The opening story pulled me in and made me want to read the rest. The influence from your parents is both an informative and a personal story, which is great for schools to get an idea of who you truly are.

(-)
The only thing I might improve on is taking what you learned in your younger years by observing your parents and moving it along into how it shaped you later in life (closer to the time you are writing your essay).

Great writing!
frankfink   
Nov 24, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Losing my voice and myself in the sea' - USC #2 [6]

This is great writing, but I would say that the biggest thing you need to work on is a more "concrete" idea of what your interests are. You have given the reader your passion for football, engineering, and charity work. But why? I will say that you did a great job getting the reader hooked! Just remember to be concrete in these essays, you want colleges like USC to get as much information about you and your character/personality in a small piece of writing.
frankfink   
Nov 24, 2011
Undergraduate / Moving Forward by Looking Back -- USC Supplement [2]

Any help would be greatly appreciated! Please be harsh haha, I need to get this perfect (USC is my top school). Thanks in advance!

Describe your academic interests and how you plan to pursue them at USC. Please feel free to address your first- and second-choice major selections.

Whether it be the last few lines of a calculus problem or the resolving notes of a tune on the piano, I find it consistently impossible for me to leave a problem unanswered. While this has always been a driving force in my studies, I find it fairly difficult to answer a problem about which I am not interested or passionate. For this reason, I've never taken the "easy A" class or found my way through an assignment or essay with the help of anything but my own mind.

Despite the constant academic challenge I face with this approach, I've never looked back and wished I'd taken the easy way out. Moreover, I've never looked ahead and thought that the grade I would receive in the class was the only thing that would matter at the end of the year. In fact, the only way I've found improvement and success over the years is through the careful consideration of the challenges I've faced and the tasks I've failed in. Should I have the chance to attend the University of Southern California, I plan to carry with me the approach I took in my high school years. I will carry with me not only all of my successes and proud accomplishments, but all of my questions and shortcomings, as well. I will face them head-on, keep them in my mind constantly. With the help of the ardent faculty of USC and the academic opportunities both in and out of the classroom, I will continue my search for the answers in life and, more importantly, I will never stop learning.
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