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Posts by alexmb
Joined: Oct 24, 2011
Last Post: Nov 6, 2011
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 5
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alexmb   
Oct 24, 2011
Undergraduate / "Number 13" - The impact someone has made on your life and explain how. [6]

"Number 13"

Everyday we come across new individuals, some whom affect our lives in significant ways. A select few have the ability to impact our lives in a way

which lasts a lifetime, where without having met them our lives would have
gone down a completely different route. Seth Tyler Simpson is the strongest, better hearted man I have ever known, and will ever know. Always caught with a smile on his face, god in his heart, and a love for his family and sports he

had only the best of intentions and a high hope for his future. Looking forward
to the next and last year of middle school, Seth was anticipating the new
uprising year.
Seth participated on the Perdido Bay U-14 boy's soccer team at the time, and had played soccer as number thirteen his entire life. Not only playing

soccer, but also excelling at baseball and basketball while achieving high
scores in academics as well. Seth was all around a good guy with only the brightest future ahead of him. Every person Seth came in contact with had nothing but good things to say about him. During a visit to the orthodontist

for his braces, a cyst was recognized which would lead to the discovery and diagnosis of Leiomyosarcoma cancer within Seth's lower jaw. It was in August 2006, at the age of 13 where Seth began his battle with cancer. Leiomyosarcoma is the cancer of the smooth muscle, in which often shows up as a tumor. Four

out of 1 million people get this cancer in which it is extremely rare.
Accepting his position, Seth bravely carried his family and friends through the next couple of months keeping his head held high and no concern in his eyes. Battling the cancer over the next 10 months wouldn't be easy for Seth or his family, but as he always said "Through god, I can do anything".

A port was placed in his chest where the chemotherapy would be inserted to wrestle off the cancer cells along with several medicines he was switched on and off of over the months. Seth went under 7 major surgeries, one in which

took off the lower jaw to rid the existing cancer cells. Seth had much
support from his friends and family, where they would send videos when he was out of town and see him when he was feeling up to it when he was around. He always had a brave face on, along with the beautiful smile he had knowing that God was always there for him and he had the right plan for his life. After

battling for 10 months, Seth passed away on May 24, 2007. He left us on the
last day of school in which he would have been leaving middle school to go to high school. The town of Pensacola was heartbroken from one of our so very beloved peer and student had moved on to a better place. Seth left a mother, father, and sister along with many friends whom loved him dearly yet the

thought of him being in a better, pain free place comforted their worries and
helped get them through the troubled times. It was after 5 days, that Seth's funeral and burial took place in Perdido. I would be surprised if there was one person in the church that did not cry. His mother and father both spoke along with his best friend, Dylan Heye. Heart breaking words from the few that tugged at our hearts yet knowing Seth was in there with us up hanging in the shafts helped us through the day.

The school year following Seth's death had brought upon feelings we'd felt since the day in May, with the new soccer field made at Seth's Alma madder Jim C. Bailey Middle School named their new field the "Seth Simpson Field". A memorial was performed in which the whole school was on the field including several others from the News Journal, Seth's parents, and old best friends.

Seth was one of the best guys ever known. He taught us all to keep a positive outlook on life no matter what is happening. By keeping a smile on our faces,

our faith in God strong, and good people around us, we can do anything. Thank you Seth Tyler Simpson, we'll never forget number 13.
alexmb   
Nov 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / 'Christmas Eve in Denmark' - a descriptive story (five-paragraph) [3]

Inside the house you feel intense excitement for the day combined with pleasure of being together with your whole family.

--- Walking inside, the intense excitement of the day to come combined with the pleasure of being together with the whole family is overwhelming.

Your mouth waters as you can sense the lovely scent from the delicious food coming directly from the hot oven. The family sits around the huge wooden table, relaxed in the cozy and comfortable chairs.

--- As the family sits around the huge wooden table, relaxing in cozy, comfortable chairs our mouths water with the brisk smell of delicious food coming from the hot oven.

I wouldn't use the word fabulous, it doesn't exactly explain the significance of the object. Try beautiful, or some synonym along those lines.

This single night everybody can relax and don't stress.

--- Take out this fragment.

Overall, very good story. Just minor details. Goodluck!!
alexmb   
Nov 6, 2011
Writing Feedback / Addiction of computer leads to ignorence of family [3]

The cartoon says that the addiction of computer leads to ignorence of family. I agree with the idea that people whom use the computer excessively spend less time with their family because of family gathering and family relationships. First, people using computer too much get in trouble with their family. That is their family can't be gathered. For example, when they have dinner one of them whom is an addiction to computer will always be late or won't come to dinner at all. However, people whom use the computer excessively won't go out with their family. Apart from family gathering, family relationships are also not good, which means that they won't spend too much time with their family so their relationships aren't good. For instance, they don't share their feelings with their family because they share their feelings with their online friends. Also, they don't share their money. In conclusion, the cartoon is right in terms of addiction of computer.

--- Watch your spacing, and the difference between don't, doesn't, and won't. Make your ideas and examples more elaborate.
alexmb   
Nov 6, 2011
Undergraduate / 'Depression' - Issue of Importance- TEXAS A&M TOPIC B [2]

Choose an issue of importance to you-the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope-and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

Depression is a very common subject in today's trendy topics, and often is undermined for what the disease really entails. Depression is a mental illness in the brain in which it is more than just having a bad day, or feeling "blue". There are more than 21 million people in the United States alone that have been diagnosed with depression. There are several different types of depression including severe major depression, or even minor depression in which only last for a little over two weeks. Symptoms aren't always clear but in most cases, the diagnosed patient will experience overwhelming sadness or feelings of worthlessness. Depression is a disease that affects not only the patient but their families and friends also. Over the years, doctors and psychologists have prepared treatments and rehabs for afflicted people for help to cure this disease.

Ranging from major to minor, depression comes in all types of cases. Major depressive disorder is described by the inability to complete simple tasks, or interferes with a persons work, eating, or sleeping habits. Minor depression however only occurs for 2 weeks or more in which it does not have all the same qualifications to be considered a major disorder. There are several cases including Psychotic depression, Postpartum, Seasonal Affective, and Bipolar disorder in which they develop in certain situations. Each affected person must be reviewed and considered individually to be diagnosed properly. In the 21 millions Americans diagnosed, over 30,000 individual cases end in suicide. In 2004, suicide was the 11th leading cause of death in the United States from depression disorders. Depression takes a toll on people through sadness, and death.

Walking through the halls of my own high school, ranging emotions and hormones throughout, pointing out those with depression isn't a taunting task. Those whom walk with their shoulders slumped over, and heads facing the ground don't exactly scream out "I'm happy" yet to assume they have a major disorder might be on the extreme side. The only way to know is by getting to know these people and spending time with those who have been diagnosed. My friend, Frank, has been diagnosed with depression on three separate occasions. His symptoms pointed more towards a minor depression case, showing only sadness and loss of interest in once pleasurable activities. He hasn't shown extreme symptoms, or signs of intentional suicide yet he has been through therapy three times now, "Life is colorless" (Frank). Symptoms can vary throughout each individual yet extreme sadness, worthlessness, and loss of interest are the three main reactions to look for when identifying a case. The effects on a person's life can be enough for someone to completely shut out the world and shut down.

Although the symptoms can be severe, there are treatment plans available to those whom want and accept the help of others. Doctors prescribe anti-depressant medications such as Prozac and Zoloft to sway the depressant thoughts and feelings. Some medications do not work on the first trial, but switching to another medication is often encouraged. Along with medications, psychotherapy often can help by talking about the problem, introduced by Sigmund Freud, and now used all over the world today. By therapy, solutions often arise from therapist opinions. Rehabs are also offered all over the world to those whom accept their position, and want to achieve beating the depression.

The 20th century has coined depression a major disease and has attempted to understand what causes it and what effects it has on us. Everyday people battle this disease by getting an understanding of what different types there are and what different symptoms each type has. The people whom are brave to battle this disease instead of letting it consume them have undergone treatments and psychotherapy to rid this depression. By understanding it, we may be able to cure it.

I really need help figuring out a thesis statement and what other points I could put. I'm at a writers block!
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