Writing Feedback / 'I first met shir'- help in Describing a person .. [3]

Hi, I do see errors. Here is how I would probably type it up. Of course it depends on exactly what you are trying to say so I may not have interpreted exactly what you meant. Classic novels are very helpful in explaining exactly how things are expressed in English. Have a good afternoon.

I first met Shir when I started at my new school. She has brown eyes and a smile that makes me smile! She is a friendly girl that will never let you down, is always understanding and will listen to your problems. Shir is the kind of person that loves to help other people. I believe that if there were more people like Shir in this world then the world would be a better place.

Undergraduate / has that world shaped your dreams and aspirations:I was born in a small city [5]

Hi, here's a few ideas. Delete: "named" in first sentence. That's implied. You could replace "People" with Karditsans. I wasn't sure what "hectares" was and had to look it up. You could define that for the reader if you want. I don't think you need parenthesis at "However". The word however takes care of the transition well.

In the sentence "The annoying things..." Do you mean " The annoying thing about K. people is that they do not believe in themselves enough."

The only dream that many of my classmates had was to finish school, enter a technical school or university and come back to K. Delete "And" from next sentence. Next sentence, delete comma after that, delete comma after city and change to period. Next sentence: It is a closed community where you know almost everyone and almost everyone know you and this ends up being tiresome. (Deleted comma and added being.)

Next sentence, remove parenthesis and use commas around even the young ones, change "do not" to "are not interested in men traveling to Mars.

It is this situation in K that motivated me to be the best in school, learn more and more, give the best of myself and persuade my parents to move to Athens so that I could get a better education and study abroad.

In the last sentence you could break it into 2 sentences. If this is an admission essay you could include and expand on the relation between your background, getting into the school and program and the difference it will make in your future since they also mention dreams and aspirations in the topic. It's a very cool story and I enjoyed reading it. I think by making grammatical changes you will allow the reader to really enjoy your story. I hope that helps. Good luck.

Graduate / SOP - PhD Pharamceutics [3]

Statement of Purpose

I am determined to pursue a PhD in the field of Pharmaceutical Sciences with an emphasis on formulation and development of new drug entities. During pharmaceutics lab sessions in my second year as an undergraduate, I was engaged in making different drug formulations (Pharmaceutics). It was here I began to wonder how these dosage forms were being formulated to achieve optimum therapeutic response which led me to the goal of pharmaceutical technology.

In India, I earned my bachelor's degree in pharmacy from Pune University. I passed the first class and could have not done much better in Physical pharmacy and Pharmaceutics IV, which I got distinction in. My introduction to theoretical and practical knowledge of different formulations and the development and evaluation of them was rigorous and challenging, but truly I wanted more. During my undergraduate studies at Pune University, my appetite for research in Pharmaceutics led me to pursue a Master's in Pharmacy (Pharmaceutics). Due to my passion towards research, I immediately joined Dr. Satish Shirolkar, my mentor, to begin my project.

My primary research project focused on the development and evaluation of Floating microspheres of Pioglitazone hydrochloride. I developed a new dosage form for the delivery of anti-diabetic drug. This successful work has not only given me a certain set of skills but also helped me understand my fields of interest and my academic strengths. Through this project I learned bio-chemical and techno-engineering aspects related to formulation and development of a drug entity.

I have already published 3 research papers, and another one on the way of submission, which gave me an intense experience of the overall procedure for publication from designing experiments to data acquisition. Apart from research, my teaching assistant career retrieved in me the detailed knowledge of Physical pharmacy subject and basic experiments.

Inspiration and enthusiasm well up in me when I am at work; I have gained professional experience by working for about 1 year as Trainee chemist (F&D) at Zest Pharma and for about 6months (since May'11) as Chemist (F&D) at Aristo Pharma in India. During this period I became completely familiar with Preformulation studies, Formulation development and standardization of different oral solid dosage forms. My strong pharmaceutics background, and unique educational and industrial experiences coupled with my track record of hard work speaks of strong will power. I believe all these credentials make me a competitive applicant for PhD program.

In the last 2 paragraphs, some words might not be capitalized unless they are names/titles. good luck!