Undergraduate / 'My family moved to USA' - UC prompt 1 [14]

Hi guys, please help me improve my UC prompt 1. I appreciate any suggestions and advice.
Thank You Very Much !

Prompt : Describe the world you come from - for example, your family, community or school - and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

I don't want to live for someone else's dream; I want to stand on my own. I want to "Stay Hungry and Foolish." (Steve Jobs)

My parent's always wanted me to work on our family business. As I never objected to their dream, it became an expectation - and soon an obligation. I never gave a thought to what I wanted to be.

My family moved to USA four years ago so that me and my brother could obtain a better education. I didn't want to come, and my first couple years in America were hopeless - I couldn't leave India behind. I didn't want to adjust to this new country, so I lived in the virtual world of Runescape, a computer game.

After being an introvert for the first year and a half in High School, I started getting involved in tennis and school. I quit Runescape and started socializing. America wasn't as bad as I made it seem, and I made a lot of friends in a short time.

As I got to know more people, I noticed a trend. All the teenager's - my new friends, my American cousins, and my classmates- had something in common : they had dreams they wanted to pursue. My brother became my idol because he had gotten into the college and career of his choice. If he did it, why can't I? Everyone, even the adults, around me had dreams and ambitions. It didn't matter whether they were rich or poor, genius or challenged, or successful or not. They were all hungry - never satisfied with the knowledge they had - and foolish - wanting to learn more and more. I wanted to be like that as well.

I started thinking about what I liked and what I was good at. My teacher's helped me a lot to understand myself, and encouraged and guided me to choose a career of my liking. Mrs. Shelton, my science teacher, was my favorite because she spent extra hours just talking to me about my future and answering my questions. My friends inspired me to explore my life and work hard towards my goals. My family was happy to know that I wanted to be something. My mother, surprised but happy with my change, provided me with all the love and support that I needed to succeed. My brother; well, he is my idol. It is due to everyone that I am the person I am today.

I have matured a lot in the last two years. I have become independent, responsible and ambitious; I have discovered the person I am. I love science, math, and economics. Therefore, after much research, I have narrowed down my career options to engineering and economics. However, whatever it may be, I want to learn more and more as I'll always be hungry and foolish.

Undergraduate / 'Tennis' - UC prompt 2- Changing my life [9]

Prompt : Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

The sunshine woke me up as my mother pulled my blanket off of me. It was a beautiful day outside, but for me, it was going to be dull like every other day. I skipped breakfast and reluctantly proceeded to school. I had lost all interest in studying and sports. I had no desire to talk to other people and spent my lunch time alone. When I finally escaped this prison, I locked myself up in my room and spent the next eight hours with my only friend: a computer game called Runescape. Every day was the same.

I was always very determined about everything I did, but making video games my passion hurt every aspect of my life. My junior year was a life changing experience. I overcame my video game addiction and began a fulfilling life. I started to enjoy studying, playing sports, and socializing. I became a better person - confident, competitive, hard working, and intelligent.

It all began on a fine winter afternoon, when my elder brother needed someone to play tennis with. I don't know why, but I went to play with him. It was so much fun! Although I was out of shape and got tired quickly, I kept on playing. Tennis became a passion for me, and I played with my brother everyday for the next couple of months. Later, I joined the school tennis team, and playing with friends became a common occurrence. I wasn't that great when the season started, but my hard work paid off. When the interschool tournament began, I was already one of the best on our team and proud of that. I didn't want to disappoint my team, so I was determined to win my matches. Winning was great, but losing wasn't bad either, for it made me a better player as I worked harder. Since then, I have played regularly and have improved as a player and a person. Tennis gave me a reason to go outside and have fun. It changed my indifferent and pessimistic attitude to being enthusiastic about life. It encouraged me to try my best in everything I do.

Tennis changed my perspective in life - I wanted to achieve something worthwhile. So I enrolled into some interesting math and science classes. They were challenging and fun, and it made me happy to be working towards my goals. I started to spend more time with my teachers, even learning some stuff beyond the class curriculum. I started spending time in the library, and one day, on my brother's suggestion, picked up a Harry Potter book. I finished it in two days! I never used to read, but I have read many books, factual and fiction, since then. It has become one of my favorite pastimes, along with gardening. I was proud of my excellent grades, but the change in my mindset and the knowledge I gained was the most important to me.

Life was becoming much harder with all the responsibility from leading the tennis team, studying, and gardening. However, whenever I sat alone and looked back, I felt really happy about myself. Although I had to work hard, life was good because I was doing something worthwhile and productive.

Video games had controlled a big part of my life. I still enjoy video games from time to time, but excess of everything is bad. There is a lot more to life than just a video game. I want to explore my life further and learn more. I believe college will be a great opportunity to do so.