Undergraduate / 'The rock is actually from an Apollo 17' - GWU Moon Rock Experience [NEW]

Please grade it harshly. I have problems with grammar(especially tenses), redundency.

Attach an essay of no more than 500 words indicating what most influenced you to apply to The George Washington University (required of all applicants). If you are applying to an accelerated or special program, also explain why you are interested in this program at GW.

"Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it."
― Mary Oliver
"Dad! Can you believe that this rock was from the moon?" I exclaimed to him. "This is incredible".
My dad replied, "The rock is actually from an Apollo 17 mission in 1972. Its actually 4 billion years old!" I was surprised more at how much he knows about the moon rock then the actual rock itself.

We left our hotel at 8 am. We have been in the museum for 4 hours. While everyone else glanced through the exhibits, I slowly but meticulously walked to each display case and read the inscription about the importance of the objects in the displace case and the impact they had on our society. I made it my goal to learn as much as possible from the museum and from my dad.

Throughout my life, my house has always been the place for knowledge, both academically and also philosophically. Sometimes over the dinner table, I would bring up Swami Vivekananda quote "This is the first lesson to learn: be determined not to curse anything outside, not to lay the blame upon anyone outside, but stand up, lay the blame on yourself. You will find that is always true. Get hold of yourself" and the talk for hours about the significance of laying the blame on oneself while on the other hand, change the topic to talk about modified square watermelons.

Mary Oliver's quotation has been my life's goal, to constantly find myself amazed and intrigued at life's every moment. George Washington University is the best place for me to be intrigued. I am excited about the opportunities it offers to its students, not only academically but also in the real world. Its prime location gives its students the ability to use their surroundings as an "extended classroom unlike any other university". Its location is central to my earnest eagerness to go this university.

In addition to the university, the George Washington University hospital is also a motivating factor that is driving me to come to this university. Its success in the adult specialties in cancer, ear, nose, and throat, gastroenterology, geriatrics, gynecology, nephrology, and neurology and neurosurgery is a burning factor in my decision to apply for the Seven-Year B.A./ M.D. Program. Medicine has been my passion and a great input to my hunger for knowledge. Volunteering in a hospital for three years has given me a strong foundation and preview of a doctor's life. Their ability to heal the sick is amazing and something that I am burning to do in life. It has been my goal to be in the medical profession and George Washington University provides a confluence of opportunities for me to thrive and to be astonished. George Washington is the place for me that will give me true education that will serve a fuller and more meaningful life.

Undergraduate / Extracurricular- Hindustani and Carnatic [3]

Please evaluate it harsly.
I need help with grammar.
Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities or work experiences in the space below (1000 character maximum).

My throat was on fire but I pushed myself anyways. I told myself: fight to the end, and finish the game. This was my motto. I have been working on the alaap, a complex improvised musical prelude that is sung before the beginning of the raag, for 3 hours now I have been singing the same notes over and over again to sound polished and seem effortless. "Sa Re Ga Ma...No that's not how it goes" I thought to myself "back to the beginning of the alaap". I have been learning Hindustani and Carnatic, two different types of Indian classical music for over seven years. Over the years, I learned so much about the type of person and have learned to push myself further in terms of singing and also mentally. Each raag, which consists of 5 or more musical notes that is rendered in musical phrases, has taught me how to cry, laugh, enjoy life, and how to live life. It taught me that I must open my heart to life in every moment or else I might miss it.