Undergraduate / Extracurricular Essay -Rowing [6]

Why am I interested in rowing?
What have I gained from rowing/ what values & principles have you obtained?
Why do I enjoy doing it?

I have found my persistent mentality has made me a good oarsman. It takes a lot of courage to cope with the intensity of training, though no matter how strenuous it gets, I am prepared to tackle it with the utmost effort in my desire to win. I am motivated in hard times in knowing that in order to win I have to battle through. In developing this attitude I have become a better student: I do well in exams due to my academic dexterity. Rowing has made me value teamwork, as in order for us to be successful we have to commit ourselves as one to training. I enjoy this because I do it with my closest friends; the people I have come to trust most in my life as they experience the same pains and joys of training and competing, in order to be successful. As Captain of the rowing team, I suit my leadership role because I motivate team ethics and handle my responsibilities to a high standard. I help teammates through difficulties, encourage hard work and try to be an inspirational example.

Do people reckon that this is ticking the right boxes for what is required in this short essay?

Undergraduate / 'a difficult divorce' - Common app for ivies [4]

Hi there, I'm British and am in the process of my application. I need help on my essay as no teachers at my school really know what the common app essay is about, or what content is need. I would be grateful if anyone could tell me if the content of my essay is appropriate, etc. Thanks!

When I was thirteen, my parents went through a difficult divorce and in the same years of the family breakdown, my elder sister had numerous domestic problems. Not doing well in high school and in struggling to find her feet meant she got mixed up in various troubles, drugs being one. At the same time my brother, too, had his own battles as he failed a whole year at high school and had several health problems. The divorce disturbed my mother's mental condition terribly, and, along with the fact that she was unemployed and living on her own, it made it very hard for me and my siblings to live with her. Yet we felt we had a duty to look after her in her fragile state, despite the discomfort it put us through. As I matured, it came to the point where my relationship with my mother became extremely bitter, forcing me to live permanently with Dad. My relationship with Mum has never improved, and the loss of someone so close has led me to depression on numerous occasions.

I have now grown ever closer to my father, who has become a great inspiration to me. He has worked very hard in order to support my private education: he doesn't earn a great amount and despite my being on a 40% bursary award, he still has to work incredibly hard in order to pay the school fees. I respect my Dad so much because in spite of his own problems, he always seems prepared to focus his full attention on those of his children before his own.

My experience has led me to value the principles of loyalty and of persevering through adversity; two principals which now anchor me, and have brought me to where I am now.

There have been times in my high school career where I have felt life to be too overwhelming, tempting me to give up and take a less arduous path in not striving for excellence. It's hard to keep defences up against every difficulty life throws at me: it wears me out. Yet seeing the harsh struggle my sister faced has made me determined not to let slip what potential I have in life. I have learnt that in order to make the most out of life, one has to cope with challenges in order to excel, because in doing so greater things will be achieved than if we turn away from them. My brother and my sister have shown this by emerging successful in life, despite all their difficulties. And just like Dad, who makes sacrifices for others, my experience has also made me value loyalty to friends and family, despite life's difficulties.

Undergraduate / I've had my answer cut off - consequences? [4]

Hi there people,

In submitting my application, I felt the need to edit my short extracurricular essay on the webpage. However my editing was too long and cut a bit off the bottom, so I changed it back to the original, though I forgot to re-insert what was cut off from the bottom! Without realising there was a problem I submitted it, and now my final word is missing! It reads, "... and to be an inspirational" When it was mean to read, "... to be an inspirational example."

What do you think the effect off this will be? Will admission boards marks as a rubbish answer, or will they perhaps realise a mistake has happened?

Any help would be much appreciated!

Thanks.

Undergraduate / Princeton Supplement - Describe someone who has had an influence on you. [4]

Hi guys this is part of my princeton supplement, which is due in in two days! just wondering if people could give me some feed back on content, grammar, spellings etc. thanks!

Tell us about a person who has influenced you in a significant way.

Structure - Who? Why? What/ How?

There have been many people who have had significant influences on my life: people old and young; close-friends and strangers; people I dislike and people I love. Almost every person I have come across has had some influence on me in some way or another. I am who I am today because of the relationships I share with the people around me. One person who I feel really has made a major impact on my life, is my best friend, Pager. I see him as being a kind of savior of mine. He has saved me from becoming a depressing person who can't help but work themselves into the ground.

I remember when I met Pager four and a half years ago on my first day of boarding-school. We were both thirteen and were stood around in a circle with the rest of the boys whom we would be living with for the next five years. From that moment I knew Pager and I were going to be close friends. He had such a radiant and friendly persona, which seemed to ease everyone's nerves of starting boarding-school for the first time. It's this bubbly, confident and pleasantly sociable nature of his, which has had such a striking influence on me. Just like on that very first day I met him, he has always had the ability to calm the forever-built-up stress and nerves I acquire during the busy school term. It is in this way, that I see him being my savior - perhaps saving me from working myself to mental breakdown! In emulating his easygoing nature I have been able to flourish at high school.

I have now known Pager for four and a half years, and he has undoubtedly been my closest friend ever. We have lived with one another in the same boarding house since we first met, and have shared a deep passion for rowing, which has formed the bases of our friendship. He is the person who I feel knows me best outside of my family, (although I have long considered him as an actually brother to me!) He has had an influence on me solely because we are so close. Our fraternal relationship has meant I haven't failed to notice his approach to life - something I admire greatly. His light-heartedness and friendly nature has shown me that in order to enjoy school life, I need to relax from time to time, and see the fun side in what I do, opposed to getting depressed with every struggle I face.

Pager has defiantly made me a happier person, and has made my high school career extremely enjoyable. He has changed me forever; I am always ready to seek as much enjoyment as possible in whatever activity I do.