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Posts by Sabahm5456
Joined: Jan 3, 2012
Last Post: Jan 5, 2012
Threads: 2
Posts: 4  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 6
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Sabahm5456   
Jan 3, 2012
Undergraduate / Community of scholars whose goal is to enrich the educational experience [3]

Here's what I have, some help about how I could improve it would be appreciated!!

Prompt-Honors College Statement:
In its mission statement, the UIC Honors College is described as a community of scholars whose goal is to enrich the educational experience of undergraduates and allow faculty and students of all disciplines to interact in teaching, learning, and research. How can you contribute to the Honors College community? What benefits do you expect in return?


I once use to be an introvert, however my exposure to many different worlds and cultures outside has helped me to break out of my shell. As a student who has changed many schools and moved a lot, my route to attending college has been considerably different from the average American student. There have been many different stages in my life which have affected my academic journey throughout America. As a result, there have been many opportunities which have helped me gain and garner new talents.

My aspiration of academic success has been greatly motivated by my immigration from Canada to the U.S. Without my travels within the U.S; I would never have been introduced to the different teaching styles present in Toronto, New York, Roanoke, and Chicago. Each time my family moved to a different place, I would have to focus and spend more time studying in order for me to understand what was being taught. My eager to learn attitude and my passion toward improving my knowledge has been greatly affected by my travels which in turn has influenced my pursuit toward academic achievement and excellence. I hope to contribute my talents, passion, and motivation to the Honors College at UIC.

Working as an IT assistant at my high school has been both a remarkable learning and timeworthy experience. Working for IT has not only helped me improve my communication skills by dealing with customer service for computer parts over the phone but also has taught me a lot about computers. I have learned how to do general maintenance on computers and become more patient by dealing with technology. I hope to use the skills I have attained at work and help better the honors college community.

One of the reasons which I am drawn to the Honors College at UIC is its commitment to the wider community. Through programs such as internships, coops, volunteering, tutoring, one can be part of an enriched educational experience. These programs and others such as study abroad are some of the reasons why I believe that the honors college will benefit me. I hope to attain by joining the honors college.

THANKS!!!
Sabahm5456   
Jan 5, 2012
Undergraduate / 'Failure is common' - UNC supplement [3]

Writing "during 8th grade" instead of "during the eight grade" I think sounds betters!

I don't think "tenaciousness" sounds appropriate in context...maybe say "tenacity"?
Despondent and pugnacious both seem like thesaurus words

I think your conclusion is very good but you could work on the intro to you story;it seems like the part you may want to shorten to fit the word limit!

but other than that good job!! And good essay!!
Sabahm5456   
Jan 5, 2012
Undergraduate / 'excel in electrical and electronic engineering program' - Transfer essay [3]

Instead of saying "I don't get good at sports quickly say sports don not come easy to me yet after two years I was...quarter finals...don't say continuously

What electrical stuff? Have you learned?-don't say ,stuff, in your essay

HTonestly this essay is pretty good and has a good story but you must work on grammer!!!I know you aren't native to English but try and read other peoples essay and rephrase your sentences to fit their formatting
Sabahm5456   
Jan 5, 2012
Undergraduate / 'My parent first got me interested in math' - Honors College Essay #2 [2]

I just need someone to proofread!!Thanks!
prompt--Academic and Professional Goals Statement:
Please describe your motivation for choosing your intended career and include any experiences you have had that contributed to your choice.

When I was young I was not able to comprehend the reasons why I enjoy math. All I knew was that I was fascinated by the way my dad was able to do calculations in his head. However, now I realize that math is complex, absolute, and elegant, I know why I enjoy it. With proofs, derivatives, and theories all leading to one right answer. My prior fascination has helped me grow into a student who now loves math.

My parent first got me interested in math when I was a child. I was amazed by the fact that my dad could do complex math in his head. I would watch him correct the cashier when she returned the wrong amount of cash and get us major discounts on food by looking for sales and coupons. Then in his mind he would compare stores and see where we would be able to find the cheapest canned tomato sauce. As a child I was fascinated by this because I only new how to do math by punching numbers into a calculator and then recieving an answer. So my mom decided to teach me how to multiply by sitting me down and making me memorize the times table. It was a tediously mind numbing task for an eight year old who rather be outside playing to do. However, as I grew older I became glad that my mom had chosen to teach me how to multiply because it became my math foundation. In school I was able to grasps concepts of algebra, geometry, and pre-calculus quickly. I would then help my friends and peers who didn't understand the material. Taking honors pre-calculus has also helped me see that I want to major in math. This is because even though I am greatly challenged by it, the feeling of great accomplishment I feel after I have solved a problem makes me enjoy the challenge I received in the first place.

Even though at first I despised learning to count and multiply, I learned that every loss can also be a gain, both numerically and literally. For example I would be upset when my mom would make me do time tables instead of letting me play outside yet later I felt greatly accomplished when my teacher would ask a math question and I would be the only to get it right. Now as a senior in high school I see math is present everything we do and see. Societies function on math, and so does nature. It connects the world and everything in the universe together. It is for these reasons why I have decided to major in math and in the future follow a career that deals with math.
Sabahm5456   
Jan 5, 2012
Undergraduate / "A wannabe millionaire, tuba enthusiast, and car fanatic" 250 word limit essay [12]

You started with a quotation mark but theirs only 1!!

Your facts are good and interesting and I think you should leave the cliche in their!!It sounds good!!

Some deletions, no need for "about myself" after too arrogant!!

Good short answer!!Good Luck!! respond on mine if you have the time please!
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