Undergraduate / 'I can achieve academic goals' - UW Madison Essay [5]

Prompt: The University of Wisconsin values an educational environment that provides all members of the campus community with opportunities to grow and develop intellectually, personally, culturally and socially. In order to give us a more complete picture of you as an individual, please tell us about the particular life experiences, perspectives, talents, commitments and/or interests you will bring to our campus. In other words, how will your presence enrich our community?

The sweat stings my eyes as it rolls down my forehead and into my eyes, and I can feel the burn in my chest and legs as I push up the hill. It's half a mile up and a half mile back down, and before I'm finished I'll have completed that circuit 9 times. Continuing is tough, but the sound of the other feet pounding the ground around me keeps me going until it is over. Once I stop my legs feel weak and I'm slightly lightheaded, but the sense of accomplishment that floods through me is worth it. It is a familiar feeling because this is more or less how all my mornings start in the summer. Although I had to wake up at 6:30 I love Cross Country and I wouldn't trade these morning for all the sleep in the world.

Cross Country was without a doubt my favorite part of high school. I loved the sense of camaraderie, and the challenge of a hard workout or a meet. I also feel like Cross Country helped shape me into the person I am today. It instilled in me an ability to make and achieve goals, and a capacity to persevere when things got tough. For instance, I wanted to be a varsity runner, and I wanted it bad. It was a lot of hard work, and at times it was painful but in the end I achieved my goal. It is because of that self-discipline and drive that I believe I would be a positive presence on your campus. The skills I learned from Cross Country are the same skills I can use in the classroom. I won't quit when the work is difficult, or when I'd rather be doing something else. I am the kind of student who can achieve academic goals and that is the kind of student who can enrich the University of Wisconsin campus.

I was hoping I could receive some advice and a general critique of my admission essay. Thanks!

Undergraduate / 'unbalancing the world politics' - Marquette Honors program essay [2]

One aspect of the Jesuit ideal of critical engagement with society is understanding how technological shifts
have produced shifts in the sociocultural characteristics of society itself (e.g., wealth distribution, family
structure, religious demography, gender expectations, racial attitudes, etc.). Choose two technological shifts -
one that has happened and one that you imagine might happen in the future. Describe the sociocultural consequences ensuing from the past shift and the imagined future shift. Keep in mind that technological

innovations (i.e., new techniques that bring about an intended end that wasn't previously possible/feasible)
may include communication, civic and organizational technologies, as well as medical, mechanical, electrical and computational technologies.
A final word of advice - less obvious and less mainstream examples make stronger essays.

This is a rough draft of the future part of the essay, let me know what you think please!

In the future technology will change in a plethora of ways, and some of the most significant changes will no doubt come in the way we produce energy. I believe the most profound of these changes will be in the development of space based solar power. Basically space based solar power involves placing large solar collectors in space to harvest the sun's energy, and then using microwaves or a laser to transmit that energy back to earth where it can be converted to electricity. Although this technology may seem implausible and unlikely, there are several reasons I believe that it is inevitable. The primary reason being that because it would be space based, there would be literally an indefinite amount of room for the solar collectors. You would also be able to position them in such a way as to expose them to constant sunlight, something that is impossible to do on earth, and that would allow them to collect an incredible amount of energy. The second reason is the lack of potential consequences associated with it compared to other energy forms. Fossil fuels are obviously both finite and environmentally harmful, many bio-fuels are made from human food sources, nuclear power creates dangerous waste and has the potential for disaster, and solar power on earth requires massive amounts of space and sunlight to be efficient. Space based solar power has none of these drawback and the technology necessary to make it a reality either already exists or has been proven feasible.

The impact that space based solar power would have on society is immense. One of the most significant effects of space based solar power would in the short term would be the technological and economic boom that it could set off. In order to employ space based solar collectors on a large scale it would be necessary to improve and expand the space flight capabilities of both the United States and other countries. It would also require widespread research and development. Combined, these two factors would no doubt lead to an explosion of new technological breakthroughs, similar to the affect the Space Race had in the 50's and 60's. These advances would expand numerous industries and scientific fields, creating a copious amount of new jobs and bolstering the economy.

In the long run, the effects of space based solar power would be even more profound. Perhaps most importantly it would prevent any further damage being done to the environment by fossil fuels, and it is a solution that lasts forever. Solar power from space can never run out, it can power the entire planet, and as technology grows more advanced it would only become more efficient and cheap. It could also lead to a revitalized interest in space in general, and perhaps lead to even more astounding breakthroughs, such as a lunar colony or a mission to mars. A domino effect could be instigated where one technology led to another and then another and so on. A technological revolution could be unleashed on the order of the Industrial Revolution.

On an international scale it would also more equitably distribute power across the globe. No longer would a nation be developmentally impaired because they lacked access to an energy source. In Chile, for example, they have relatively few natural sources of energy and are thus being forced to resort to environmentally damaging hydroelectric dams. With space based solar energy they could simply receive energy from space while leaving their environment intact. On a related note, it would also prevent countries that did have access to large reserves of energy from unbalancing the world politics. Countries such as Iran would no longer be able to threaten to send the world into chaos by closing the Straits of Hormuz.